“Matthew is a genius whose magic needs to be shared with the world.” - Eva Longoria

Done With Love

There is nothing sadder to me than hearing people give up on love.

Today’s video is a little different from recent ones. I really hope it resonates and that despite the hardships I know you’ve been through, you can make this area a priority in going on to fulfil your potential.

Whether they go right or wrong, relationships mean potential.

Relationships give us so much opportunity to find more out about who we are, to better understand human nature, and to share experiences and different ways of living.

If you’ve found yourself falling into the same cycles again and again with men, I know it’s not easy. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In making a slight shift to your mindset, you can go on to create an entirely different set of outcomes.

Try these 4 steps to break the pattern you’re currently experiencing…

1) Define the goal

If our goal is to get it right every time, that’s a problem. If that’s your mentality, you’re going to give up because you’ll never win.

The goal has to be…

*I’m going to be the person I want to be in this world.*

Start by being who you want to be, and then filter out the people who don’t accept that.

2) Live by YOUR standards

Allow yourself to live up to the standards you’ve set yourself for how you want to express yourself.

If someone takes this the wrong way, that’s fine, you can move on and look for someone else who will be better suited to them.

3) Chunk it down

Instead of thinking ‘this is going to be my life-partner forever’ or ‘this is the person I’m going to get married to and have kids with’, we have to chunk down.

These things you want are the byproducts of incredible moments with someone.

Getting married is the byproduct of incredible moments that lead two people to a place where they want to get married.

Having kids is the byproduct of magical moments where you feel a shared intimacy that makes you want something that’s greater than the two of you.

4) Strive for MOMENTS

We have to look to achieve MOMENTS, not grand visions for how our lives could be with someone twenty years down the road.

The big vision creates overwhelm and makes us feel like a failure every time we have a false-start.

Instead focus on moments of shared connection.

Moments like…

–I want to have a smile with someone.
–I want to have an unusual conversation over a coffee.
–I want to sit at a bar, flirt and have fun.

It starts here. The moments are the building blocks.

Just focus on bringing your all to the moments.

If you’re sitting here reading this thinking, ‘I’ve given up, I can’t do this anymore, it’s over…’, don’t even think about the big vision right now.

You don’t need to take on the burden of ‘going out to find a life-partner’. But I do need you to have the courage to say, “I’m going to go and have a great moment.”

Don’t deny yourself connection because one part of you feels that there isn’t hope, or that it isn’t going to go right.

Instead put your excitement into the moments in front of you that could turn into something magical if you’re open enough to let them happen.

###

I’m really looking to get this video around to as many people as possible. If you know just one person that this could help, it would mean the world to me for you to share it with them.

The Man Myth

446 Responses to Done With Love

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  7. Dana says:

    Hello Matt

    The extended video is better. But in the end it’s about the message and your energy that it can be felt.

    This is my fav video and all because you put more energy, thoughts and advices in it.

    Good job!

  8. nathalie says:

    This video was great… And not becaue it was long but because it was inspired. So my suggestion is don’t make long videos for long’s sake. If things get”real” through the course of filming just keep it

  9. Valerie says:

    What about finding closure with a past relationship? Have you ever heard of “ghosting” where the guy just stops talking to you out of nowhere? Despite the fact you were in a relationship? What can you do in this situation?

  10. Michelle says:

    You have a wonderful sense of humor! Keep doing what you’re doing, it works.

  11. liz says:

    I never gave up because I wanted the big thing, ever. Marriage is not my dream.

    I gave up because the honest truth, guys have it really easy now days. Women chase, and they have gotten used to the fact they don’t really need to make an effort to get a girt. So, they don’t.

    I usually would agree in a great percentage on you videos. Not on this one. The analogy of traveling along is great, I have never had the fear of being without a person, however, finding a quality guy now days has narrow it to 0 for me.

    I am not giving up, I’m not longer looking, and not because I wanted to get married and didn’t.

  12. H says:

    OMG

    I was done with love, now that I have seen your video… its given me what I needed to be told.

    plus… the longer the video, the better :) much needed

  13. Tricia says:

    you’re adorable, and yes,I do like the extended videos better.

  14. Kasia says:

    I liked it like this. I felt like the Universe is talking directly to me through you. Perfect timing :-)

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  17. Margot says:

    I like what you say Matt, but most women I know do want to have a relationship and children. So they’re focused on that. Is it bad? I don’t think so. Because being with a man makes me feel I am a woman.
    I have everything I need (job, house, friends, etc), I am independent and I don’t need a man. I would just love to be with one.
    I am the girl you describe… I met men who just disappeared after a few very nice dates, or sometimes even a few months of dating. It’s very painful and I am done with it.

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  19. shelley cox says:

    I appreciate this video the most because the subject matter applies to me. Also, you spoke from the heart. Thank-you.

  20. Cara says:

    I think your videos are great! I like this one and it is natural and you were not rambling. Your videos are real and genuine cuts or not your heart is felt. however i do prefer cuts with the points clear and quick as long as we get all the message you are conveying and who you are.

  21. Simone says:

    In my opinion this is one of the best videos you’ve made… its natural, its talking to me…without cuts… its like I am sitting on the couch there in front of you Matt! Cheers :)

  22. Carolina says:

    Matt do your thing. We dont have the answer, and you probably dont either. Still, you make us feel, even if its just for a moment with your videos, like there is hope. Like there is something beyond the things were experiencing right now. thank yooouuuu!!!!!

  23. Tracy says:

    I like your videos without the cuts better than the ones with the cuts. I don’t know why but it feels like I get more information without the cuts. I know you probably cut to get more relevant info in but the conversational vibe without the cuts is something I’ve missed in your videos.

  24. Heather says:

    I personally LOVED this video! Very real and I could certainly relate to everything you said. Thank you so much Matthew for all that you do! :)

  25. Aymee says:

    I love this type of message. Long enough to get a large picture and think about these topics

  26. Maryam says:

    Why don’t you just admit men are pigs? You never admit it and yet dance around this fact for 14 minutes. Just admitting this, you will gain more credibility with women. The rest is Disney-sappy bullshit advice that goes nowhere.

  27. Lorin says:

    Matt – I’m editing some video right now and dealing with all sorts of cuts and I had your video on in the background thinking ‘can’t wait till I’m pro enough to not mess around with all these cuts…’. Ha! So yes, loved it in this vide. because it didn’t feel like you were rambling. Just depends I suppose. Thanks for that =)

  28. Christine says:

    Well, I don’t want to be done with love, but at this stage of my life, love is done with me. Through years of online dating, speed dating, etc. I’ve learned the hard way that I’m not within the age demographic that men are looking for (turned 34 a few months ago). It makes me very, very sad to think of the love I’ll never be able to give someone. If men out there would give me just half a chance, I could have really given something special to someone. However, I am now facing the reality that it is very unlikely to happen at this stage and that ship has long sailed. I am in the twilight of my life and really want to make the most of the years I have left. I wish I was a stronger person who could keep going through disappointment and rejection, but I’m really not. I’m no longer a young woman, so can not keep going through that for a dream that will not come into fruition. I need to make the most of the time I have left, rather than wasting even more of it chasing a foolish fantasy. I may not have the romantic love that I yearned for, but I’ll learn to make the most of the other love that is present in my life through my friends and family.

    • Lin says:

      Christine, you’ve got to be kidding!! 34 is YOUNG!! I was expecting you to say you were 70! And even 70 year olds can still find love! Keep looking! And if it’s having kids you think you’ve missed, let me tell you about my friend Carol – she found love and had a child at 43 – that’s right FORTY THREE!! You’re much too young to give up! You may need some attitude adjustment, but your age is not the problem! Good luck with your search – the right person for you is out there – now go get ‘em!! :-)

    • Rivka says:

      Internet and Speed Dating was not the way to go. Better luck with someone you meet and get to know in real life, over a period of time.

  29. Valtressa says:

    Thank you so much for this. I’d stop dating for 4.5 years which got interrupted by me falling madly in love with a man @ the end of a 6 -year relationship. Of course we can’t b together b/c he’s not ready & I don’t want to b around to watch him date other. So now I’m out there meeting other men & dating b/c I’m fighting the urge to stop dating. I’m not okay with being alone anymore. So I’m focusing on doing things different than before and focusing on my moments. :)

  30. Monica says:

    Don’t change a thing…it was perfect. I savored each word you said. This video especially spoke to me. I would hate to lose one minute of it if you cut the length. Matt, you are really moving into something important here. Look forward to hearing more like this one. What you said about being your true self is inspiring. Creating moments also is a huge shift that can create the space for the magic to happen. I am adopting both of those mantras whole-heartedly today! Thank you for your wisdom!!

  31. Andrea says:

    The longer format was great!

  32. rose says:

    It was fresh point of view. ” We get a chance to be the person we want to be” was my favorite line. When we get emotionally charged it is hard to see things rationally at times but in the end we all grow and learn from different relationships. I really liked the message on the video. Thank you Matt

  33. rose says:

    It was fresh point of view. ” We get a chance to be who we want to be the person we want to be” was my favorite line. When we get emotionally charged it is hard to see things rationally at times but in the end we all grow and learn from different relationships. I really liked the message on the video. Thank you Matt

  34. Eveliina says:

    There is a handsome guy in my class and I always thought he was single cause he looks at me at school all most all the time. I´ve talked to one of his friends as we ended the sports lesson and I heard that they were asking each other what his girlfriend´s name is and how it´s going with him and his and he answered as if he was a bit nervous and laugh nervously about to answer that and the next day at school he keeps looking at me and now one of his other friend who also goes in my class starts too look at me. Please help me cause I don´t know what they mean by that.

    • Kath says:

      Stop torturing yourself with the meaning. The only thing you need to know is : Are YOU interested? If the answer is yes, then ask him out. It does not guarantee you his interest but at least you will be able to move on from the answer he gaves you…

  35. Sara says:

    Men are ANNOYING. All men. Your video doesn’t make any sense. Sorry.

    • Kath says:

      Why do you say that? You can feel like you’re “off market” but that does not mean that nobody is interesting… I think in fact that most people, including men, are interesting.

      The problem sometimes though, si to get the chance to know a man enough to tell what exactly is interesting about him

  36. A says:

    Uncle Matty, your videos could be 40 mins long, really. They are enjoyable nonetheless. Edited, not edited. Matta fact, your next homework assignment: Make a thorough video of 1 hour and 20 min long. Include clips from your seminars! I will send u my consultation bill in the mail….

  37. Yvonne says:

    Matt, I don’t want to be done with love. I had met this guy that I really liked and I thought he liked me, we went out a few times and every time we were out I wished for time to stand still. Things didn’t work out but we are still friends. How do I meet someone like that again?

  38. Jackie says:

    Alot of the reasons why women and men are done with love is because it seems we’re relying too much on online dating. I’ve come to the conclusion that the online dating sites are not cleaning up their data well enough and in a way, are trying to keep people single, because then they will use the service. The process of online dating is often what leads to the frustration of giving up. Maybe giving up on online dating and being done with Internet connecting is the more accurate statement.

  39. Veronica says:

    What do you do when you have found the ONE, but for reasons beyond your control it’s not happening at the moment, and you are willing to give yourself an opportunity if someone crossed your way that you like but everytime a guy tells you they like you you can’t have the same feelings for them? You start thinking maybe you are never going to love someone the same way you love that one person, that maybe you are too picky, or a million things. All you are waiting for is that little sparkle to burst when you are with a guy but it’s not happening and you are fully convinced you’ll never get over that person!

    • Rivka says:

      What do you mean by “not happening at the moment”?
      If you mean this guy is still in your life, still single, etc, but doesn’t seem interested in you…what you do is listen to Matthew Hussey! Also, maybe check out his book, maybe the chapter on the friend zone…

  40. alexia says:

    Hi Matt!Loved the video,very helpful and inspirational as usual!Personally i prefer long videos so i really enjoyed this one without any cuts!!But i think that you are able to go straight to the point even with a short video because everything you do works so…x

  41. Kath says:

    Living in the present is the thing to do to “be happy”. One thing to be careful about though, is not losing yourself in the process. The big picture is a part of who you are and what is important for you. The hardest thing to do do is finding a balance btween who you are, who you want to be, and how do you act, what risks can you take today that won’t ruin who you are.

  42. Liz says:

    Matt, I loved this longer video. But I love all your videos, short, long, cuts of shows with you like the Today Show – we love it all! Keep them coming. You’re the best! You inspire us – and I’m speaking for all women, most especially those of us who have, or had before you came along, given up. You inspire us to NOT give up, and give us the motivation, tools and inspiration to see that there is still hope out there. We love your enthusiasm and your kindness – I don’t know how you understand us so well, and what we need to hear and learn, but we thank you!!!

    I don’t know if you know this, Matt, but you have truly given hope to women to had none. You have made a profound positive impact on women’s lives. Somehow you make us feel like you’re in our corner, like we’re not alone in this struggle to find love. Rather like the big brother many of us never had but always wanted! Anyway, thank you!

    Liz

  43. Mia says:

    Matthew,
    I enjoy the videos you send my way and I watch them all. I flag them in my inbox so I can go back to them because much of what you say is noteworthy and inspiring. I liked that this one was not edited and “just put out there”. I didn’t find it long since it was worth its time in what you had to say. So, continue in how you feel is best in expressing what you need to communicate. Regardless of the time factor, I will watch from start to finish when I value the content. Your words are inspiring and candid as well and worth my time. So, thank you.
    I like the sequences with kathie lee and Hoda as well. I wish those were a little longer too.
    -M

  44. Ada Chan says:

    Dear MAtthew,

    I am From Hong Kong. I just start watching you video. I love your vide as you are so passionate and giving so much energy. you are just demonstrating what you always mentioneding ” life loving” .

    Ok, there is one question and i want to see if any of your books can give me more advice.
    1) i got the message that we should ” add value” to stuff, like relationship, people, meeting, dates… etc. i knid of understanding the concept, but is there any more example and practical advise how is that like .

    thanks a LoT.

  45. Elle says:

    Matthew,

    I hope you get this message–only so I may create a “moment” with you.. To “thank you.”

    This video spoke to my heart.

    After 11 years of marriage, my husband left. I was devastated. I didn’t date for six years. (My three children were young at the time, and I chose to focus on stabilizing life for them and adjust to working and providing for them… And… my heart took a very long time to recover.) I did go on my first date last year! I even dated a great guy for several months!

    After my divorce, I went to six years of of counseling–every week for three years and once a month for another three years–because I blamed myself.

    I tried SO hard to do everything “right”–to give it my “all.” I loved him so much, and … he was my ideal man (so I thought).

    He blamed me for not making him happy because of my flaws (if you must know, I am a runner, blonde, very active, outgoing, and a “blue”–a nurturer. I have realized over the years that he didn’t have it so bad, haha). In any case, I hated myself for not being “enough.”

    I realized a few minutes into your video that I have harbored a deep deep fear that he is right. That my best really won’t be good enough again.

    Matthew, Thank You! Thank you for being you. Thank you for looking me in the eyes and speaking from your heart. I needed a handsome man to look me into the eyes ;) and just say with your heart and conviction what you did. I’ve probably heard it before (that just because it wasn’t “right” for him doesn’t mean it won’t be right for someone else). But, somehow, hearing you say that just made a difference for me.

    You are amazing! . . . And you are a godsend :).

    I totally felt of your heart and conviction in this post.

    And I believe you :)–I felt like you really were saying that right to ME… and I feel HOPE…

    God bless! YOU are making a difference :).

  46. Bonnie Rae says:

    Honestly, I just opened the email to hear what cute fun you had to say, and WOW, am I glad I did. To swear off guys because of nasty endings — that is giving them too much power. I like where you spoke of just living your best life, being your best self, and if that wasn’t the right fit, the naysayers would just fall away anyway !

    Also, to consider life or relationship as CHUNKS — GENIUS ! Finding a real connection can feel like too much, but just a Chunk, a Moment — entirely possible !

    Thanks so much for shedding positive light on a seemingly negative situation :) The flow of your banter comes across quite nicely (I wouldn’t change a thing), and the fact you take yourself sooooo seriously after such insightful discourse makes it all the more memorable. A Keeper for Sure :0)

    XOX

  47. Laurie says:

    I liked this informative video. It’s nice to see things kept real, sometimes raw and uncut is best. The giggle at the end made me smile.

    I think some of us want to give up because love can and will break you at times. Nobody can protect you from it. You can’t live in solitude because of it, after all we all yearn to be loved. You just have to love and take that risk. Take a break, take a nap, take a walk outside and gather your thoughts. Mend your heart and give it again.

  48. Alida says:

    Great video Matt! Exactly what I needed to learn about today.
    I love your recent videos. The cuts are great. And the humour you’ve started injecting is awesome. This particular video is great, and the length, for me, was perfect as it flowed quite well.
    Just go with the flow. When it feels right to cut, go for it. When it doesn’t, don’t…you are awesome either way! :-)

  49. Hidz says:

    I am not sure what to say Matth because I think I understand those women. Honestly I just got my heart broken like couple of hours ago. I tried your tricks with the man that I had a relationship before, he responded but then the result is different from what I expected. Failed. Yes. It is hurting very bad. If not because of this video and your advices I honestly will numb myself. Hey friend, I am feeling so hurt and I am not sure what to do or how to deal. Kinda blank this moment. Now I am thinking, talking is easy right… to experience it is another story. I have few guys in line and a couple of them already stated their interest, but I do not feel like invest in them at all. Is there something wrong with me Matth?

  50. Bola Ogun says:

    I think you guys should do what you feel when it comes to editing. No one way works ALL the time. This subject specifically was best and most heartfelt uncut, perfect mood for it.

  51. Petru says:

    I have this question and really no answer to. When it comes to men and love I’m clueless…and REALLY hope you can shed some light.

    Question: there is a guy at my gym and he seems to be interested – well were like school kids he stares at me and I look then look away and vice versa. So last week I made a “move” and introduced myself. I’m super shy and well the conversations we have had were so var not long as I walk away due to shis shyness… So I left my business card with front desc to give to him. (They say they gave it to him).but I have not heard from him and he acts like he didn’t get it?
    He still stares and we have our brief hi and all…
    Tonight I stumbled on a photo of him via a “friends” photos on facebook.

    What do I do? Do I start a “hey I know you” via facebook or just leave it?

    Please help!

    • B. says:

      In my humble opinion just leave it. He knows you’re interested and that you’re an awesome person. If he doesn’t drum up the guts to just ask you out by now after leaving it so wide open for him, move on to the next guy who will.

    • Rivka says:

      Go ahead and have more actual conversations. Take initiative. Shyness is the way to have an empty lonely life; trust me, I know. Just go ahead and start talking to him again: about actual stuff, about stuff you are passionate about, not just boring “hi, how are you doing.” Yeah, maybe he already knows YOU are interested in HIM, but the only way he can know that HE should be interested in YOU, is if your true fascinating inner self is revealed. Boring “hi”s won’t reveal it.

  52. Chenni says:

    I like the old way!
    Yes you can shoot and edit the video the “http://www.garancedore.fr/ ” way but as long as you keep it real, hearts will be touched either way. :)

  53. Ting Zhang says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Thank you so much for making this video for all of us out there consistently thinking to ourselves – should I take a break? I like your way of approaching relationships and the way you look at things, I am right now so excited and inspired by this video, I am going to be this generous, affectionate and giving person that I want to be in relationships and I am going to be very open to all the possibilities and having my hope up that the other person will also be courageous and open enough to let the magic happen! thank you so much!!

  54. Tammy says:

    Loved it! Loved it! Loved it!!! Thank you so much for doing what you do so dang well!

  55. Jackie says:

    Without the cuts! Funny, before I even saw the last
    part I was thinking that. You’re interesting enough
    and speak quickly enough that NO cuts are needed.

  56. Kaja says:

    Wow, what a great video! I like it that longer way, I think you should do this more often :)

  57. Meredith A. says:

    I know that a lot of what you help women with here is getting the guy to finally commit to a real relationship. Honestly, I feel like I have the opposite problem. I’ll really like a guy, flirt, and go out on fun dates, only to get nervous and bail once we’re actually in a relationship together. I can feel myself close off and shut down, but I have no idea how to change it. My friends and family tell me I’m afraid of commitment, but I don’t want to be. Any advice?

  58. Tanya says:

    Hey Matt,

    Great reminder that life is made up of small moments, not grand scenarios.

    I am so glad you asked about your editing methods. I vastly prefer the “uncut” videos. They flow better and come across as more natural. I found the cut and paste method choppy & distracting, and have been hoping you would go back to how you did them before.

    Thank you for asking! One more reason to love you.

  59. Samantha West says:

    I loved that you took the time to share this great information the way you did. I like the old way. This information is how I believe things should go. Life has many bumps in the road, and it is nice to feel at peace knowing life is a shared experience even if I never find that one so as to speak at least I have put myself out there and love the life I am making. It would be nice to have a great shared experience with someone so I will see down the road what ever life brings me with someone else. Thanks!

  60. Laly says:

    Hi! I really enjoyed this video. You should do more like this. I actually wanted to ask you to do a video about “how to flirt” and Ideias for keeping the conversation going. I know you already did a couple, but none of them really adjust to my situation. There’s this guy, we’ve already gone to the movies, we see each other every once in a while (never got phisical at all), but whenever were alone, there’s that awkward silence, that only makes me more nervous. I enter this state of boring statue girl. I see that he tries to be funny, but but doesn’t work ( not funny at all). I try to play along but our talk eventually dies. I,ve tried the 21 questions thing, but he gives me square answers, and the talk dies again. We’re both boring and shy. I’d relly appreciate some advice.

  61. Alexis says:

    Oh my god. Thank you Matthew. I was feeling so hopeless. Just done, like you said. But this video make me realize I should stop searching and work on myself first. Then live life as est as I can. Hopefully my special someone will come to me.

  62. Antonia says:

    I LOVE this video. Thank you for being my life coach, and I know this sounds cheesy, but you really have changed my life. I am 19 years old and have become more confident, more willing to take risks and a more sociable person. I used to be shy and had a hard time approaching guys, but through your videos, your book and your support, you have helped me push myself to become the person I want to be. Thank you, Matt!! x

  63. Agostinha Jacinto says:

    thanks for the advice matt! :)
    and ur laugh is so funny….! :P

  64. Esther says:

    Wow your video came at the exactly right time for me. I am 25 years old and never experienced nothing with the other sex, not even a date. So yes I can say I give up sometime. next week I’m having a vacation in Spain and I had decided that I am just going to have FUN and FLIRT and enjoy being ME and your words in that video makes my decision even stronger! I am definitely going to create moments for me!!

  65. Christy says:

    I enjoy all your advice, but it seems to be only directed to singles. Do you have any advice for someone who was 100% committed and has 3 children and caught their husband in an affair. After 7 years, I thought I could get passed it, but it still isn’t working. I am not in love anymore and am in it for the children. What is your advice?

  66. Gayle says:

    I like the videos when they are not cut or edited. I’d rather just hear what you have to say as it comes to you. Thanks for all of your help Matt. :) I personally have been working on making more eye contact with people as you suggested in your book. :) sometimes I look at the person 2 or 3 times to make sure they see me. :) & of course I always remember to smile. It’s only been a couple of months, but it’s still a work in progress. :) thanks again

  67. hani says:

    your website is amazing and you influenced me for many years i guess not only love and relationship, far beyond bigger than that. thank you so much and boost confidence in my life and person as me im korean, my names is hani!!! and im a such a huge fan for you love ya~

  68. Colleen says:

    I liked this video very much! One of your very best. Thank you!

  69. Bella says:

    My first comment! :)

    Thank you so much for this video. It’s really helping me.
    This literally felt as though you were speaking right to my heart and the part of me that I tried to ignore and cover up. And it’s probably the best advice I got within months.
    I could relate to almost everything you said – especially since I went travelling alone not that long ago and met so many incredible people along the way. And it changed a lot.
    So now, I feel as though I know what’s the right thing to do again and the things to remind me of. Thank you.

    It felt like a friend sitting in front of me and giving me some really good heartfelt advice – so yes, I like the uncut version. :)

    Thank you for all the advice – it really works. :)

  70. Erin says:

    Really liked this version of video.. It felt more sincere than some of the more recent videos, and more similar to the original stuff. Really enjoyed it.

    I was wondering though, would you please share any insight you might have on being in a ‘Luke warm’ relationship, one that’s not bad but not necessarily fulfilling for person A, but person B does feel that strong connection…

    Leave? stay? Stick it out a while longer? In this particular instance, the relationship is going on four years. Fun but maybe not fulfilling due to lack of connection… But only one person feels this way..

    Much appreciated! Thanks!

    • Michelle says:

      Hi Erin,

      I am in a similar predicament, (i’m person A, he’s B)but we’ve only had a hand full of dates, 90pct of the time I and we are having a nice time but the other 10 pct of the time I find my mind wandering…..day dreaming mid date!
      I’ve had a couple other relationships that start off like this but builds and builds and gets better, but those relationships did eventually end.

      Have you always felt this way during four years? What advise have you been given?

      Thanks!

  71. Jill says:

    I loved that it was long. And it’s exactly what I needed on this very moment! And thank you for the laugh at the end.

  72. Vicky says:

    I think this statement of saying “I’m done with love” or “I’ll never get ir right” or those things we say to ourselves and feel so definitive and damaging, has something to do with the way we interpret what happens to us.

    Here’s something I’ve found that helped me try to get over that way of thinking. Maybe you’ve heard abot Martin Seligman and Positive Psychology. He started focusing on “learned optimism”, while analysing your explanations about the things that happen to you.

    “Explanatory style” is what scientists call how we talk to ourselves about the “whys” of a particular event we experience.
    Personal: You place yourself as the cause of an event and blame yourself for things happening that maybe, just maybe, you had no had control over. For example, “I missed the traffic light because I’m so slow!” rather than, “That traffic light turned red really quickly.” The first is “internal,” the second “external.” Of course, it’s still important to take responsibility for your own actions; just don’t feel guilty or defeated about things you had no part in.
    Pervasiveness: You can see an event as being universal (“I always do that”) or specific (“I did that this one time”). When you give yourself a specific explanation for something happening, it’s a lot easier to see how to fix it or prevent it. Seeing things as pervasive is also called catastrophizing—making a catastrophe out of everything. Once you do that, it’s easy to give up and lose hope.
    Permanence: You imagine that how it is right now is how it will always be—forever. This is the case of, “I didn’t get that job, so I’ll never work again,” versus “I didn’t get that job, but maybe the next one will work out.” Recognizing that things can and do change is an important part of optimism.

    I hope this helps anyone who reads this as it helped me, in acknowledgeing the way I saw myself and particularly when it comes to relationships. Look it up, Positive psychology, or Martin Seligman and maybe you’ll find interesting ideas to consider.
    I’m very thankful for this video Matt, it really helps. It reminded me once more to be the person I want to be in this world.
    Thank you,
    Vicky (Argentina)

    • MsGvious says:

      Awesome, Vicky, that was such a great post.

      I am very interested in the power of focused optimism, especially after reading ‘Meeting Your Half Orange’ by Amy Spencer.

      I’ve had a mainly failure-to-launch track record with men. I’m now 39. Time to turn this ship around! In order to be positive about my dating future I focus intently on positive feelings whether or not the results are immediately reflected in real life around me. Very much like a tightrope walker who aims at a certain point … looking up, down, left or right would just knock you off your wire. We pick our target and move towards it.

      I spent last Monday at a birthday for a guy who’s incredibly negative. Everything he said came out dispirited. Great lesson for me being around him … I couldn’t wait to get away. Infinitely better to be a bright shining creature who is delightful to be around whether with people or loving your own company. So here’s to high kicks & hair flicks!!! Honestly Darling Ones … let’s just ROCK THIS WORLD!!!!!!

      And thank you Matt. It can be cold and lonely out on the range. It’s good to be reminded that there are warm-wholehearted guys around.

      Ladies, I talk to my husband every day (inspired by the Gestalt empty chair technique). Talking to him with 100% conviction that he’s here automatically deletes a lot of ‘dying swan’ style thinking. When I see gorgeous beach destinations, glammy hotels or foodie restaurants I say … Sweetheart, we’re going here! **If anyone tries this, please report back!**

      In the meantime, keep your wells full and your feathers fluffed!!

      Lots of love,

      G xxx

  73. Starline H says:

    Just wanted to say I appreciated this video a lot.

  74. Simona says:

    Matthew, I love the way you guys “feel” to do the videos. So from my side, I love all your videos, because you embrace your instincts about how to go around it.

    And thanks for the reminder, precious wisdom as always.

    xx,

    Simona

  75. Laura says:

    Your video was excellent and very appropriate as recently I’ve also thought of giving up on having relationships. The point which stuck out most for me was “chunking it down”. I do find myself thinking about marriage as it is something I do want in the future, but I worry it won’t happen because I’ve just not had any luck with the men I’ve dated. A lot of my friends have been getting engaged and married recently and I just think “well I’m in my early twenties and I’ve never even had a proper boyfriend. There must be something wrong with me!” I will take your words on board, they have definitely cheered me up Mr Hussey x

  76. Jane says:

    Your videos are great however you deliver them, it’s good to have a variety anyway so mix it up.. longer or cut up as long as the message comes across that’s the main thing. great advice as always… Don’t stop!

  77. Sarah says:

    Thank you for posting this video Matt. I had given up creating, because I had given up on love. As I get older, although I’m still somewhat young, being single gets exhausting. I feel like guys in the past haven’t fully appreciated what I have to offer, and I am particular about who I open up to because for me, trust has to be earned. In my 20′s it was very easy to just have fun, and live moment to moment. With everything that has happened this year so far, it has been especially difficult to be motivated to put myself out there. It is much easier for me to believe that other people will find true love. This video made me realize I need to start living moment to moment again, and not focus on the big picture.

  78. Holly Klein says:

    Hello Again Matt,

    I really enjoyed the this video… the advice about “chucking it down” was something that I really needed to hear. All the time we get this pressure to get married, have kids, because we must be incomplete and it becomes overwhelming. It becomes very easy to feel like a failure in addition to the hurt of a failed relationship. So good advice!

    I liked the way this video was shot because it was more like having a conversation with you. We are thinking about some really deep stuff while listing to these videos, so talking to us is really nice.

    On another note, I checked the “notify me of the follow up comments box”… I know I already did a whining to you about this but WOW! How do I make it stop? lol I find it amazing you have tome to go to the coffee shop, and you must need a nap! Just when I think they are done a new wave of comments come in! Any info would be good Thank you!

    Thank you for another wonderful video, and keep the hands up ;)

    Holly

  79. angelina says:

    Enjoyed the video n thnks for all the wonderful advice.its like you read my mind. Its good to listen to the longer video and see you bit longer too, it was too perfect to be edited.

  80. Andy says:

    An excellent article…however…Please give advice for women with children who would like a boyfriend/partner BUT because they have children they already have responsibilities (priorities) and are therefore restricted somewhat, also HE sees HER children as a ‘problem’ and ASSUMES SHE wants a father figure when all She wants is to get to know HIM. Also – a sticky subject! – SEX and the problem for those (perhaps of a certain age?) who think – God, do I have to? I’d like a relationship BUT I have no desire and the thought of ten minutes of consentual squelching (and having to take it seriously – YOU are intimate/HE’S just getting his rocks off)just to keep ‘em happy/be ‘normal’ really does not appeal.

  81. Paloma says:

    Agreed! It’s those shared connections with people that matter– I keep trying to tell other people this!

    P.S. Filming it without stopping makes it raw (in a good way) and more natural because I’m seeing the entire thought process along the way and there is a good flow.

    Thanks Matt ;)

  82. Katherine Kirkland says:

    Hi Matt,

    I discovered you when feeling very down about a failed relationship. Your little videos were enormously useful in helping me feel good again, so I bought your ebook and am thoroughly enjoying that too. As a result I have currently 4 men who I like, that are very interested in me. Two of these men had previously rejected me, including the one I had the failed relationship with!! Don’t worry, I am being sensitive about everyone’s feelings. But I am not going back to the guy who hurt me either. His loss!!

    It just something I wanted to share with you. Also…

    This video made me feel compelled to add a comment as I too have met loads of women who have given up. Mostly because the men they were married too had affairs and hurt them very deeply. I’m going to pass this on to them and see if it makes a difference. Fingers crossed!!

    PS. Like the longer style. Perhaps not always appropriate, but this time it is.

    PPS. Is Jameson really a bottle of whiskey off camera or do his parents have a good sense of humour? ;-)

    PPPS. Sorry Jameson xx

  83. Asima says:

    Great video, makes a lot of sense actually to see it as achieveable moments, rather than something overwhelming. I like the way this video was shot this time too. Thanks for the advice.

  84. Lau says:

    Firstly, I think your message trumps the duration of any of you videos so don’t you worry about that hussey.

    Secondly, I thought your “7 Things I’d Tell my Teenage Self” was your worst video. You’ve always done a great job with taking abstract ideas and motivating people, putting ideas into action…. but this video was one of the most wish washy videos ever. You should have focused on something specific, instead of doing something so general and cliche. Hit me up if you think I’m wrong.

  85. Toki says:

    Hi Matt! I enjoy your blog and videos a lot! But I’m hoping that you when you give advice, you could talk a bit about long distance situations. Me and lots of my friends are doing long distance now, and it’s very difficult to follow suggestions such as short dates. In my case, I met my guy online a month ago and we’ve dated once. Now it seems we can see each other probably twice a month at most and talk once or twice a week because we’re both very busy and our off times don’t always overlap. As a result, out first date and the upcoming second last for the entire weekend and are intensely packed with activities we want to do together. So far it seems all great and fun, but I can’t help wondering how long we can keep doing this. For example the advice of “have short dates and often to make dating part of your life” doesn’t really apply here, because we have to go out of our ways to make time for each other. Also it’s difficult to limit texting to entertainment and logistics. So please also mention long distance situations in your blogs and videos in the future!!

    Thanks!

  86. Lucy says:

    LOVEEEEEE the longer videos do not like the choppyness of the shorter more edited video’s it takes away from the brilliant content which you have to share with us! Less is much more!

  87. Irene says:

    Hey, Matt!!
    The video was great, thanks a lot!! I related a lot with your ideas, I do this quite a lot… giving up on things, because I always go for the grand finale and I’m just training myself for disappointment… I forget just to build everything with patience, step by step :)
    But the thing is, I don’t know how to find the balance between having standards and family perspective and being casual…
    You see.. I have these two extremes in my life… I am a very attractive young woman, I’m a musician and I meet lots of men all the time in concerts and parties… and the extremes I meet are the men who want to marry me, even though they barely know me and the ones who see me just like a good fun… and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong… because the ones who want to marry me are not the ones I relate the most to :)
    Help?

  88. Anna says:

    Impeccable timing as ever. Sat in a hostal,room in rainy Cairns, on my own, having had the best part of my trip cancelled due to engine blowing up & stupid tour company charging me $50 ‘admin fee’ to be refunded. Guy I dated before I came away for my RTW (planned before we met) was dating some- one else before I eve

  89. Ada says:

    Hallo Matt, keep it as you like it – it’s more authentic & inspiring – long or short, spliced together or not, to a younger audience, with rants, cajoling or pure encouragement. With the tv ladies or you making fun of self and quirks of life. It’s the authenticity that makes it resonate and relevant. Behind every great vlog is a great camera person so of course Jamieson (sp), thanks for making Matthew just simply, impossibly, addictive ;)
    A

  90. Ann Marie says:

    I like the old school version. Great advise, I needed that. Your boxing mark, well looks like “it’s just a flesh wound.” Thank you.

  91. Barbie says:

    You are so right in what you say in this video. I thank God for insightful wisdom like this! As far as the video is concerned, I think it’s fine just the way you video taped it, with or without the cuts, it doesn’t matter. What matters most is the material presented! I must say…you are sooo adorable with that little bit of humor at the end!!

  92. narges says:

    I loved the long video,I was feeling hopeless before watching it, thanks for putting it out, by the way I was staring at that little scratch on your eyelid!

  93. Marina says:

    The video was amazing! Natural, spontaneous and powerful. Longer is better. Thank you.

  94. Jen says:

    I like the longer video without the cuts….love old school!! I didn’t even notice your eye until you pointed it out…I was concentrating on what you were saying. I really needed this right now as I tend to focus on the future, which sometimes hinders my enjoyment of the present. I’m working on that!! Thanks for another great video!!

  95. Peggy says:

    Matt, I’m an introvert trying hard to learn how to talk to guys. I’m educated and know about a lot of subjects but I never know how to turn that into interesting conversations with guys. I know you say “get to the why” and discover their values…but can you give us more of a formula or even more questions I can use to have more interesting conversations?

  96. Joy says:

    I like the long video. It is not about the length, it is about the quality.

  97. Kelly says:

    I like the longer videos.

  98. Jackie says:

    Considering that you charge to help ladies navigate dating and other areas of our lives, I’m personally grateful that you continually take time out of your schedule to put out these videos for us. I appreciate that you’re keen to see us through, and so for me, the video wasn’t too long because you brought an important point home.
    Thanks Matt and God bless.
    You’re awesome! :)
    And sorry about the eye.

  99. Ann says:

    Joining the grateful chorus: this is perfect. Thsnk you!

  100. Nasia says:

    Hey Matt,

    Great video ;) You made some good points, as the one of not thinking our lives as one big vision and breaking it into chunks of happy moments.

    Just because you asked, I prefer long videos, so I liked this longer one, because it had loads of examples and info. My not so good feedback, I believe that your passion made you say things a bit quicker than usually and that made me a bit nervous :)

    I look forward to more videos and tips. You’re doing a great job ;)

    Nasia

  101. Michelle says:

    Hey Matt! Thanx for a really good video, I liked this long version! Let me tell you something, I feel often that I have given up coz I can’t flirt with guys at all, I am always the sidekick that no one sees, and I have always fallen for the same cute friend guy, but it begin as a circle coz it was the same pattern that they just wanted to be friends, i don’t like to dress up all the time so they all might of have seen me as one of the guts you know :P But then I always feel aftr all the hurting that I can’t put my heart out lik that anymore, witch has happen, I am so afraid to hurt again so it’s hard for me to let my guard down, At the same time I always keep thinking(Coz I travel allot alone and love it)..That “What if I am gonna met somone now” I am trying to hard to find a guy at the same time as my guard dosen’t wanna let anyone in, I love to travel and have met so many people. I was traveling to USA San Francisco alone last fall, from Finland….And las Vegas, Grand Canyon..And that guy I once told you about. Still remember it Coz I have never felt more beautiful that when he looked me deeply into my eyes, smiled And I totally was hit right through my stomach and soul somehow..To bad it freaked me out then and there, Coz I think about that all the time, and it was a year ago. My body language is protecting my heart but my mind is thinking that I want love… This is tricky and I don’t know how to get over this. Or what to do even. Any thoughts? X/ Your fan, Michelle 25, from Finland

  102. sarah says:

    I thought it was a bit long but I enjoyed it. Keep it old school from time to time. These tips I can apply to my current relationship, which is working very well. It’s a long distance relationship and those do require other points. I think enjoying and living the moment is really important in order to create a deep connection. Thank you :)

  103. Jamie says:

    I like it uncut. :) You make me feel so inspired, thank you! :)

    xx

  104. kami says:

    LOVED IT! Keep it that way! Don’t chnage a thing. Dont go into these fancy producion to “sell more”. People want the real deal. And you are the real deal. We want the message, not your fancy suit vests, allthough theres nothing wrong with them ;)

    Thank you Matthew! You inspired me yet again. Its time to go down to the basics, baby steps. Time to enjoy ourselves a little more an snap into playmode! :)
    All the best to you!

    hugs /Kami

  105. Betheney says:

    The video was great you gave a pep talk which I felt like I needed as I haven’t given up on relationships but I am not putting myself out there as much as so hopefully this gave me the jump I needed thanks. The video was great the way it was I think it felt more like you were just sitting there and having a conversation with us so it felt more natural.

  106. arka says:

    I just saw that video and wanted to say thank you, because although i’m only 25 me too i’ve given up. And this video just gave me a new perspective.

  107. Magda says:

    I don’t know why am I writing this because you won’t read it anyway ;) but I like the longer version. It seems more honest, more personal and more true.
    And yet your videos are like a chat with a friend so the longer the better :D

  108. Audrey says:

    Uncut. More conversational.

  109. Sonja says:

    Thanks. Awesome message!
    No cuts, not too long. I like this video as it is.

    Sonja

  110. VJ says:

    Take me off this list, your manage message site doesn’t work. VJSL8@CS.COM

  111. Sailing says:

    I really enjoy your video and thank you so much your remind me to living moment by moment and enjoy each one….

  112. Ray says:

    I loved it , I feel the cuts are annoying.

  113. anna says:

    I love the last part, u always have a great advice matty.. ur so sexy promise… :D careful don’t hurt your face..

  114. charm says:

    I liked this longer, uncut version…and agree with Candice . Mix it up depending on the topic…keep it fresh and HOT.

    Sorry about your eye.

    Now giggle and move on…

    <3

  115. G says:

    right. “But I do need you to have the courage to say, “I’m going to go and have a great moment.” and when nothing works out after these moments, that’s when you say “I give up.”

  116. Karen says:

    Anything you do is perfect. Just as long as you DO!
    And please be careful in the ring! Don’t hurt that beautiful face!
    Thank you for your wisdom talks.
    Lovely
    k

  117. Candace says:

    I liked the longer, uncut version today. But I also like the shorter, cut versions.

    Maybe a mixture?

    Liked what you said about sometimes doing everything right and it still not working out. Guess I can’t do it all myself. If the guy isn’t in the right place or able to hold up his end, that’s on him…not me. I need to remember that I’m only responsible for my half of the relationship.

    Thanks for that insight.

  118. Carla says:

    Hi Matt!
    Personnaly I really love the uncut. Just as you may pause to continue your thought, as a listenener we too have moment where our thoughts are absorbing your sufgestions then as we are, when you keep going, we have time to process and start listening again. :-)
    Your words of wisdom came to me at a perfect time. I had seen a comment from another email about making my man blah blah and thought … i dont need to read
    May God anymore about relationships… very synical… then there was yours saying dont’t give up… Thank you so much Matt for breaking life down to MOMENTS MOMENTS!

  119. Peg says:

    Hi Matt,
    Watching this video I felt my head nodding a lot… It looks like you know more about my past happenings than I do myself. I hear a lot that if something went wrong you should look for the positive to take out of it. You know, the positive that I take away is that I found your blog and can see your videos. I would have never checked for something like this if it went perfect. So I lost a guy but I found you.
    Reg. your question: It really doesn´t matter, Matt. No matter how – just talk to us! ;-)

  120. Maya Morgan says:

    THANK YOU! I am so happy you are talking about this because I’ve been thinking about these questions lately! By seeing friends& people around me putting so much pressure about the whole “what is this with this man, what are we, is he the one, should we have kids” I so much agree, the minute we look at our next relationship as being the life long partner, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves. I was wondering this week “what are the real reasons why people have kids” and I realized that a lot of people have kids because they’ve been together for years now and it’s the thing to do, because they still thing in the old model of finding a life long partner with who you share everything from beginning to end. Which don’t get me wrong, I think is possible and amazing when it’s with the person you really love and want to share more. I’m just sad when I see some couples that seem to not be really in love anymore but stick together because they’re scared of leaving the person! So they have kids to have something together& feel connected again, like the solution to their couple problem! But what if a guy may be good for us for a certain period and than as we grow, change, an other will come along!! I love what you said! It’s more about the intensity&special moments we spend with that person! We should maybe just stop thinking of where it’s going, if it feels right, just enjoy the time we have with that person! . Share what we feel like we want to share and see where it goes with no expectations. :)
    Love the video long with no cuts like that too!
    Thank you Matt!
    Take care!!

  121. Susan says:

    The length surprised me, but I love the sincerity. I seriously considered doing myself in earlier this week because I am tired of missing meaningful connections in my life. Thank you for caring, Matthew!

  122. Christine Cooper says:

    Dear Matthew,
    many thanks for this and all your videos that you make available to us all! I feel you are right on with your insights and suggestions so you are making a great contribution to all of us making an effort or struggling with finding a meaningful relationship in this crazy world. You are very honest and sincere, and generous in sharing all this for free. I am a great admirer and am learning too. I am 63 and seeking a good man after a divorce. I am having a lot of success Meeting men so far and excited about the possibilities. Thanks again!

  123. Caroline says:

    Hello all of you,

    This is kind of the moment I waited for. The moment that I am finally NOT SINGLE ANYMORE!
    And I’ve not had a serious relationship in 2 years. So, thanks Matthew. Thank you so very much.
    And to all the other ladies out there: NEVER EVER GIVE UP!
    You’ve taken one great step but listening to Matthew, your Mr. Right is out there waiting. And it’s soooo worth it.
    Love you xxx,
    Caroline

  124. Daniela Kraeva says:

    “It is what it is” – you sound like Eckhart Tolle, this brilliant spiritual teacher of our times. Great stuff, thanks!!

  125. Amy says:

    I loved the video! I learned a lot that I am going to apply to my own relationship now. It makes so much sense to chunk things down and not get caught up in te stress of “I have to get married”. Thanks!

  126. sophie marsh says:

    great video loved it…

  127. Elle says:

    Matt, I just want to kiss you for every time you made me feel better! I was just crying my eyes out because of another failed relationship, thinking exactly what you said, that I’m giving up, and I went here in search for something that would convince me that I’m wrong and found it in the very first video.
    Thank you for always making me smile! :)

  128. Annie Barlow says:

    Hi Matthew
    I really needed to hear this just at this moment .
    I was about to give up looking and you are right all I need to do is to break it down into lovely moments.
    You are such a beautiful soul – a light worker- you bring light to peoples lives.
    Thank you .

    ps I liked the longer piece without the cuts – it drew me in & kept my attention.

  129. Kate says:

    I think this is one of the most effective videos you’ve published, Matthew — the message *needed* to be 10+ minutes. If the video had been cut down, it would have lost its effectiveness (IMHO). As for the message of this video — it was SPOT ON! Thanks so much!
    Cheers ~Kate

  130. Nicola says:

    I like it just the way it is.
    Keep it real!

  131. Laurine says:

    Best video you have done in ages Matthew!!! Well done Jamieson for holding out for the whole 8 minutes! ;-)
    I’m making my way though your book and am nervous but excited to start working my way though all the tips and tricks.
    Am off on a holiday on my own soon so this post really encouraged me not to give up and treat every guy I meet as an adventure whether it be for a minute, a day, a month or forever!
    Thank you for sharing and I’m spreading the word here in Australia! :-)

  132. Janet G. says:

    No need to cut the videos short. They are therapeutic and super informative and it felt like i was listening to my wise friend’s advice :)

  133. Milla says:

    Heya Matthew!

    I would have *thought that longer would be better, but in all honesty my mind started wandering a bit as I was watching this video.

    That’s the only reason why I would prefer the more attention-grabbing cut versions, because I don’t want to miss any of the awesome stuff that comes out of your mouth while I’m wandering in la-la-land. I go there a LOT x____x

    Thanks so much for everything!! You & Jameson rock.

  134. Sam says:

    Don’t worry Matt, you can’t go wrong. This video was awesome. It is not every time that the longer version will be necessary or right – just follow your gut, we will be watching regardless, that’s for sure! keep up the good work and I can’t wait for more…

    x

  135. Tiffany says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I really like the longer video. You gave great content (as usual) and this is a subject that needed a little longer video so thank you again. I have been following your videos for a while and tell all my friends about your amazing advice. Just so you know I am going to be using your great advice on my next trip across the pond. I hope to make some great moments and turn them into great memories.
    Thanks again for all of your advice and I can’t wait to hear more of your common sense and great wisdom in the future.

  136. Steven Chu says:

    That’s funny you said in the end that this video wasn’t cut.
    I like your usual video cuts as they make things snappy and entertaining,

    but equally just as well this video was really effective because it didn’t feel super edited. It felt like a friend was chatting directly to me and I’m like Yes! exactly! oh that happened too! oh i thought that! so the naturalness of this video worked well for the heart to heart matter!

    Right choice Matthew!

  137. Sarah says:

    This video helps me because I’ve been so guilty of letting a relationship get monotonous by focusing on the grand vision instead of just focusing on the little moments that could be incredible. I’ve actually said that I’m ‘done with love’ mentally but you’ve helped me realize through watching your get the guy stuff that my relationships don’t have to all be the same. Tonight I was traveling to see this guy that I met two months ago, and been talking to him ever since. When I first met him he was wearing this nice tucked in plaid button down shirt which I told him how good he looked in it and especially it being tucked in. So while I was on my way to see him, I told the people I was with ‘I bet he’s going to be wearing a tucked in plaid shirt when I get there, I might be wrong’. Well, what do ya know, I wasn’t wrong , he was wearing his plaid shirt, AND it was tucked into his pants when I saw him. :) I asked his friend, ‘Doesnt he look good wearing his clothes like that?’ His friend said ‘he told me Sarah likes it when I wear my shirts this way’ :)

  138. Danielle says:

    Matthew!

    You have completely changed my outlook and mindset on dating and relationships. I now go into social settings with a confidence that I’ve never had before. I was so concerned with the outcome that I never just lived in the moment! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  139. Leecis says:

    Hey Matthew , wow the last 3 weeks I have announced to all my world precisely this; I give up. I am just waiting for the I don’t care that I give up to follow. I usually have a good laugh after I see your videos, this time I sobbed. You don’t know what you ask of me not to give up. Perhaps in time….I will try again.
    Leecis

  140. Anjali says:

    This video came at just the right time for me, because I have been saying this to myself a lot recently. I got out of a relationship about a week ago with a guy who talked a lot about commitment and ended up not knowing what he wanted. We were together for a year, and now I’m back to square one, feeling like I’m done, love is not worth it, I don’t want to do this anymore. This video touches on how I feel perfectly, and I think it’s great advice for anyone who just feels tired and sad. Thanks for the inspiration, Matt.

  141. Doris says:

    Your videos are so refreshing and entertaining that length really doesn’t matter at all :)…. Loved the last laugh.. Who punched you with a ring on? Lol.. Hope it wasn’t your girl..

  142. Minta says:

    This video hit home with me and made me shed a few tears. After so many letdowns and lies I have more than once been fed up with being in relationships. I’ve said that’s it, I’m done more times than I care to admit. My too trusting personality has gotten me in trouble in the past. I know men aren’t all the same, but I haven’t found one that has not followed that negative pattern.
    The older we get, the smaller the single pool gets. I have been on a handful of bad dates and some good dates that haven’t resulted in blossoming relationships over the past 3 years. Have I lost hope? Not quite. Am I more reluctant to get into relationships in my 30′s? You betcha.
    You’re right, Matthew. Life is a series of moments. As of now, I am faithful to my freedom and all the life experiences I’ve had as a single, but sometimes I get so overwhelmed I don’t have anyone turn to and share amazing things in this world with. *cue violins* Then again, the next corner I turn may be my next moment with someone.
    FYI: keep the vids raw and uncut. Mistakes make us human.

  143. Yetzi says:

    I apprecite the long version of the videos. Especially this video, because there was a lot of wisdom and incredible advice all the way. Keep them coming Matt. I look forward to your messages every sunday. Thanks for taking the time to do them!!

  144. Saudia E. says:

    There was something very refreshing about this video, Matt, in my opinion; maybe it was the lighting, your floppy hair and the sweet scar above your eye. I was happy to know the video wasn’t rehearsed or scripted. :) Because I seek and receive value from what you have to share, I could listen to you “all day” if that’s how long you needed to make your point (of course with periodic pauses in between, hee, hee). Thanks for sharing, once again.

    Myself and some close friends of mine (both men and women) have recently discussed how we’re “Done with Love” or at least that’s how we think we should feel to get by. But it’s true, those are sad words to hear especially from such loving, quality and naturally affectionate people we are. And I much prefer applying your idea of “chunking it down” so that I can create now, rather than wait later. You’re keeping some of us afloat, dear Matty-boy. Again, take care.

  145. Dd says:

    Hey Matt & co.,
    I like both styles of video. This particular one was very heartfelt so I found the longer, no cutting style more fitting. Thank you for sharing as always!

  146. Dayse Soares says:

    Hey, Matthew!
    Congrats for the amazing video. It’s everything great, specially because you really had what to say and we can see that you did it with your heart and soul.
    Thanks for putting some hope out there. Relationships are hard and sometimes people can think that they’re done about it. But the fact is that we women have the power to control our destinies in a never seen way in history, so it takes us to a different path than women that came before.
    Have a great week and I’m pretty happy about your success!
    With love from Brazil,
    Dayse. :)

  147. Maria says:

    Hello Matt

    Well I have to say you are definitely sexy as alway. I love your videos I alway expect to hear from you. It does not matter what mood I am in when I listen to your videos you lift my spirits up. I m going thru a serious issue in my life right now I have heart aneurysm I’m under doctor care that alone scares me. I have been remove my job because my doctor does not want me to lift no more then 10lbs. Their is a video I seem I cannot locate I no you have done unless you have remove it. The video I believe you had in LA seminar about your book your talking about two things really stuck to to me you were coaching gentleman who travels all over the world he has more money then will ever need you had to go Mayferry hotel board room. Second was you ask the group of ladies where is to tell each other in group where is the mosaic exotic place they had an orgasm. You mention to the ladies you were only joking. Have you remove that video could you be so kind to send it to me again please!

  148. Corey says:

    It was awesome you made me cry

  149. Priti Khan says:

    Just loved no word’s to said anything.
    Just amazing.just want to say you can make more longer video more then hours, hours I will more happy. Love you. Take care

  150. Priti Khan says:

    Just loved no word’s to said anything.
    Just amazing.just want to say you can make more longer video I will more hours, hours iI will more happy. Love you. Take care

  151. Tara says:

    Hello Matt, this was a very timely video as my partner in a very new relationship just had a serious conversation with me about what “I want.” I am divorced, he has never been married and neither of us have children but I want children. So, the conversation was about wedding, house, and baby all in a very short time because I am 42 and he is 48. I think “chunk it down”, enjoying the moments while we grow closer is such great advice. I was getting a little frustrated even though in the back of my mind, I know that you cannot speed up time or fast-forward moments necessary to make a lasting relationship.

    I just want to THANK YOU so much for this heartfelt video!

  152. Erin says:

    Sent this to a guy friend of mine and told him to reverse the “he”‘s and “she”‘s.

  153. Naomi says:

    Matt, I liked the video just the way it was…..even though a bit long, I did other things and continued to listen…thanks for the inspiration as always :)

  154. Jan says:

    Aloha Matt,
    Sending/sharing to my brother and dear friend. THANKS!!!!!!

  155. Piqabu says:

    I like the longer video, but I think that a mixture of the longer and shorter ones will be more beneficial in the long run to us ladies. And Gents if you’re out there. This is exactly what I needed at this very moment. I’m so glad I found you Matt!

  156. Kathleen says:

    Pay no attention to me….I’m trying to see if I got something figured out before I have to get tech support involved…

  157. Brigitte says:

    Wowww Matthew you are truly amazing…came across a video of yours a week ago and we’ll it was truly inspirational for me…really helped to put a smile on my face from the very first second i watched that video. I take a look at certain things in life in a different way now. All thanks to you. Your videos are truly amazing, doesn’t matter how long but it’s always nice to listen to you so keep it up with the videos, you’re doing a fantastic job :D

  158. VJ says:

    GRRRRRR, THERE IS NO WAY TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS LIST, IT’S SPAM AT IT’S WORST.

  159. Carla says:

    Liked the longer version – and to tell you the truth, I was just a teensy bit distracted by that thingy over your eye, but I was able to refocus and move on :) It made you look more rugged anyway. Really. Seriously.

  160. Bailey says:

    I liked the longer video. Great with more information. Always love hearing more from you Matthew if possible!
    Although I like the cuts of the other videos. Keeps the points at the forefront.
    So all in all I like both styles, guess it just depends on the content that each editing style is suited for.
    Keep sending them out. You help us all to create and grown so much!
    Thanks! XO

  161. sue says:

    I really like the video without the cuts. Until you explained I thought “this is honest, this is raw and his passion on the subject is speaking”. I would rather have a few more seconds, without the cuts (which I find distracting and wonder what you said wrong). Your passion is what makes your videos fantastic!

  162. Tiffany says:

    I get what you’re saying, but I’m tired. So much of what you talk about is so foreign, it feels like way too much work to try and learn it at this point in my life. It’s just easier to be by myself.

    • Zsuzsanna says:

      Tiffany – please don’t give up… You can learn at any point of your life if you keep positive… Through GTG and the people I have met in the past 6 months I have managed to change my outlook on life and that is the only thing you have to do, everything else will come as a result… If you want to, get in touch with me through here and we’ll go for a coffee and a nice chat…

  163. Yesenya says:

    I am not going to pretend like I haven’t felt that way, I know that after a couple of bad dates you just feel like theirs no one out there for you. I have reolize that when it comes to love it can’t be rushed. I’ve seen people find their true love in their 50s, I hope that’s not me…lol. Now I see things differently, see I would ask GOD to bring a wonderful man into my life, but looking into my life I don’t think I have time. With work and school I don’t think I can give him 100% of me, I don’t think I could give him 50%. Sometimes we fell like there is no one out there for us but its not like that, we just aren’t ready for our other half. Just be patient if you have not found the love of your life it’s because one of you isn’t ready. So before going out there to find him make sure you take care of yourself first and wait for him, because anything good is worth waiting.

  164. Selina says:

    Hi Matt,
    Personally, I loved that you spoke with passion and didn’t cut the video. All very pivotal points for people to think about.
    Thank you. It’s great to hear your take on this subject.
    Best wishes from Australia.
    Selina

  165. Nicole says:

    Matthew,

    I love and adore you and I am so grateful to have found out about you. Once again, you have mastered an amazing topic and given great advice. While I don’t necessarily feel like “I give up”, I have before. I think this video rings very true and I do believe whole heartedly it comes down to that core confidence that you are always talking about. If someone has that, believe in themselves then they will believe that the one true person for them will come into their lives and “giving up” will not be an option. I’ll be seeing you soon on your retreat but I wanted to let you know I enjoyed this video. Thank you! AND….cutting or not cutting your videos and splicing them however you do doesn’t make a difference to me :) BUT I do love the bloopers. Please do as many of those as you wish! They are fantastic! ha! – xo

  166. Amanda says:

    I like videos un-cut and more organic, but the other videos can be fun too. Personally, it just feels more authentic when it’s straight from the heart and un-cut.
    *Note, I do like the bloopers that are included sometimes at the end. :)

  167. hajer kamil says:

    hi Mathew
    I loved your video it was inspiring just like your older videos .. and yes I love the long videos without any cuts >> thank you you made me smile :)

  168. Sylvia says:

    Thanks so much! Your Videos are great, especially the non-cut-ones. Please keep on posting them.

  169. Kathleen says:

    Once again Matthew,
    Great video!!! always a pleasure to watch and learn from you.
    I will tell you that I am not one of the woman that have told you they have given up. in truth I think that’s an awful thing for a woman to do to herself: forsake love because she had some bad experiences? I used to believe that bad was just bad, then I realized that the bad was actually good once I started to learn something from it and yes gain as well.
    what I have learned in certain situations is that the pain I was caused was not about me and or my character,but rather theirs.
    what I’ve gained once I did see the good, as strange as this may be; self-respect,self-love, compassion,and also a higher value of myself.
    also I wanted say that I love the uncut video much better…
    keep up the great work!!! One day it’ll pay off ;-)

  170. Rae says:

    Totally random, especially this being my first comment! Just wanted to say your voice sounds like chocolate and your arms… oh my… are utterly delicious.

    Thanks for the invaluable advice. And your videos, the longer, the better x

    • Kathleen says:

      I’m sure you’d much rather get a response from Matt and who can blame you, however that line of
      ‘your voice sounds like chocolate”
      I LOVE IT!!!

  171. Louise says:

    This is my favourite of all your videos so far. So practical, so relevant to me and so many of my single women friends, and so hopeful.

    I like the way it turns the usual, ‘I want to find the man of my dreams’ vision on its head and says don’t focus on the big picture, focus on the small details and the big picture will look after itself.

    Liked it without the edits, less ‘jolty’ which made it easier than normal to focus on the message. But I also liked it without the edits because the last few videos have all had that choppy, edited style, and it was getting a bit samey (as well as feeling a bit gimmicky). It also feels like it comes more from the heart if you can do it in one take like that. But if you do all the next few vids in that style that will get old too. As I’m sure you’d say yourself, as long as you keep mixing up and being predictably unpredictable it’s all good!

    And I didn’t even notice the eye thing til you pointed it out!

  172. Abbie says:

    This was a perfectly timed video for me personally.

    The reminder to think about those littles moments rather than the big goal is actually what I needed and has also given me a new way to approach someone who I think needs to think about the special moments more themselves.

    Thank you for this video Matt I think you’ve done a brilliant job with this one including the longer no cut version. Keep it up!

  173. Kira says:

    I didn’t even notice it til you pointed that out.

    And either version is fine by me. I just think of it like another piece of candy that wouldn’t have been there otherwise. But just think about what you want to tell us and we’ll listen regardless.

  174. Aini says:

    Absolutely prefer the not cut videos!

    Thanks for talking about it, I surely noticed the new style and feel that your messages come most real and authentic when they come without surgery. You so don’t need that!

    Keep it old-school, please!

    Thanks for everything!

  175. Ximena says:

    AND I LOOOVE videos this way! it’s just so FRESH! keep it like this!

  176. Ximena says:

    This was such a great topic! and you’ve helped me to see things differently! you are the best, thank you so much! :)

  177. Jayne says:

    I really enjoyed today’s video. Not too long but more personable without the cuts being made. Almost like being live at the time. Thanks for being encouraging to all women out here. I have been enlighted by all you videos since finding the first by accident a couple of months ago. Have a great day!

    Jayne.

  178. Mary says:

    Hi Matt, thanks for your video. I thought it was really excellent. It is clear that you have many years experience of working in this field, you are extremely knowledgeable and clearly an expert. All your points were so eloquently put across too – without edits? impressive. Perhaps what you were getting at is – am I going around in circles too much but I think it is very useful for the listener to hear your points and hear them in an expanded version as to us it allows your message to sink in and be absorbed better.
    great post & hope my feedback was useful!
    have a great day. Mary.

  179. Jill says:

    I will admit there have been times I have said the famous I’m done but what I’m really saying is I’m done worrying about it and feel sometimes you have stop worrying when you’re gonna meet that guy. My goal is to be the best version of me that I can be and let things happen. If your not in a relationship right now is the best time to work on YOU become the best you can and enjoy living your life :)

  180. Erica says:

    I think the variety of the editing styles serves you well. A lot of jump cuts to a message like the one in this video may have been a distraction from the sincerity you delivered. I liked the cuts done in “Wait or Create” because they amped up the energy and excitement, and that completely fit the message you conveyed in that video. So, for my two bits, I hope you continue to embrace variety.

    Now, if you do another video in the spirit of the Gatsby parody AND were able to complete that in a single take… I would be very delighted indeed.

  181. Carmen says:

    Please don’t change anything leave it the way it is , loveeeeeee it!!!

  182. Amanda says:

    Great video Matt, always arrive at the right time and perfect little reminders to keep me on the straight and narrow. Long or short they’re always helpful!

    I’m sure you get inundated with offers but would love to try a coffee ‘moment’ with you next time you’re in London! :-)

  183. Zsuzsanna says:

    Perfect length and perfect contents… Thanks for sharing a special moment with me on my bday xx

  184. Kelly says:

    I thought this longer video was the perfect length at the perfect time. I think it would be cool to see a variety of lengths in your videos. Nice to have a choice between something short and sweet and something I can listen to when I’m feeling focused.

  185. Martina says:

    Hi Matt,
    this was the perfect message for me tonight. Thank you! You are totally right, it seems the problem of our “make your dreams come true” society to have this vision about everything – even love, which cannot be fulfilled that way. The pressure on people who have lived quite a long time as singles, makes them look harder and harder and finally completely may lead to the opposite: it pushes the others away. It seems the law of life. So we need to be calm and open, let it go and give our best, that`s true. I found all your advices really really helpful and necessary to change ones point of view..because it is true that proactivity and openness, discipline and calm inner trust as well as self confidence and knowing what you want are the key for everything in life – including our love life.

    I really enjoyed the video a lot more than the other cutted versions though it depends on the style of the video. Sometimes the cut-version may support the message of it better.. In general you are doing a really great job and I like the authentic and cool way of talking to a camera, even though we all know that you might have gone through a huge coaching procedure..;0) the result is great: authentic, professional, sensible, intelligent and comprehensible. And hopefully extremely effective ;0))

    Best
    Martina

  186. Franziska says:

    nice advice but honestly i think it sounds easier than it is…changing your way of thinking, acting, having a relationship is hard because often it’s not just the way of thinking that needs to be changed but your way of feeling too..cause why aren’t we just the person we wanna be?? cause it’s hard to overcome all the insecurities and other problems we’re faced with…

  187. Yaro says:

    I didn’t feel it’s that long cuz I love listening to you :) btw your hair looks amazing !!!

  188. Sada says:

    I really liked your Not cut Video! Thank you! A good topic you chose. Just right for Me. :-)

  189. Plamena says:

    Hi Matthew!

    I like the video uncut. The information you shared is priceless! Thank you!

    P.S I didn’t notice the mark until you point it out:) Kind of a sweet and funny way for you to say it :)

    xx
    Plamena

  190. Stephanie says:

    Hi Matt! I really enjoyed this video because I have heard so many people talk about giving up, when all they really needed was a slight change in perspective. I didn’t mind that this video was longer at all! I think that sometimes with longer videos people tend to lose interest, but I think you remedied that by actually having worthwhile things to say…haha:) Thanks for the great advice, as always!

  191. Elizabeth says:

    Love it! Would not change anything about this video! Really enjoy the longer videos because I feel that you are able to expand on topics and really provide greater detail. I guess it depends on the topic–some need longer videos and others can be shorter. You always seem to gauge them correctly. Never adverse to hear you talk longer though–it’s like a mini seminar!lol I have started to get to that point where I just enjoy the moments in life and stop having such great expectations for every person I meet. Your videos and book have really given me a renewed desire to get out there and just be myself without worrying about so much what others think; the information in your book has provided me with a very positive feeling overall and I am excited again regarding the future! Thanks ever so much! I must say I guessed it right and I am so glad to hear that you sustained a “battle wound” in the ring and not from an angry person outside the ring! Hope it feels better each day!

  192. Chantel says:

    Thank u for getting me to look at things from a better different perspective :) loved the video, has made me think maybe I’m not done with love, I will look to have great moments & not over think things & dwell on events that have happened in the past. Thank u SO much!!! :)

  193. Chantel says:

    Thank u for getting me to look at things from a better different perspective :) loved the video, has made me think maybe I’m not done with love, I will look to have great moments & not over think things & dwell on

  194. G.J.S. says:

    I thought that was probably the best video clip you’ve done Mat and I did wonder when the cuts would start. I thought it was compassionate, encouraging and realistic. It’s true you need courage and vulnerability in relationships. You won’t always (probably hardly ever) feel that you got it right but that’s not the point. I don’t think I’ve ever really heard that view point inquite that way before; it’s a very liberating one.
    The cuts often make for a manic Mat; I prefer the calmer one and I didn’t even notice the cut above the eye!!!

  195. Severine says:

    Hi Matt,
    Such a good refresher! I’ve changed my blueprint last year, got it wrong a few times, got discouraged many times but finally rocking life :).
    About the video: both cuts and no cuts, I like variety and as long it is as fun and authentic!

  196. Karla says:

    I just have to say….YOU’RE THE MAN!!! I love this video and I’m planning to share it with all my single friends. Thank you for letting me see things in a different way.

    :-) X

  197. Lorine says:

    Thanks for the video. Loved d fact that it was not cut. It’s a freaky coincidence that u are the fourth person today to say do not give up on love. I had given up and today my cousin, my aunt and my best friend have told me not to give up on love. Thanks Matt!!! I am going to focus on creating special moments

  198. Viola says:

    1st, the continuous shot was perfect for this subject, other times videos are the best with the cut (great editing btw); 2nd ‘tis no fair, u gives us mor then we deserve.” :) THUNX So much valuable info for pennies, or rather free. One day, I will buy all your books!

    This video led me to a thought on how hard it is to build a house but easy to destroy it; yet you’re saying, “Go and build that house in spite of all odds until it becomes a palace.” Thank you for that thought, Matthew, amazing and inspiring! You have a brilliant mind that is written by God’s hand. Thanks to those guys too who work with you :)

  199. Emma says:

    Matthew, no video from you is EVER long enough. I like the long shot, its very honest. I have just been on a date after using your techniques to strike up a conversation at a live music event last week. He just text me that ‘it was lovely to take a walk with you but I did not feel the butterflies around you’. I think that is honest but in fact he told me he was looking for ‘the one’. I text back that ‘I don’t wait to feel butterflies but if he ever would like a cinema companion or the like to let me know’. There was a time that would have made me feel a bit low but I have brushed it off and put it down to experience. Keep these videos going… please.

  200. Vaysznah says:

    Hey Matthew,
    It feels weird but whenever I feel like ‘that’s it, no more guys’, I will receive your emails and the exact topic I needed. You are definitely our little angel always motivating us and encouraging too! I used to have big hopes all the time when I’m out with guys, like if I went out with the guy I find myself noticing for traits whether this guy can be capable to be my future partner and most of the time the answer will be ‘NO’. So I completely cut all ties with him, I know it’s a really bad way. I need to stop doing that and also to stop being so judgement to all. I will try your new ways and see if I can ‘chunk it down’, it might be a little difficult as I’m so used to doing that but I will try definitely. Thank you for your great uncut long video which is more preferable as it feels you are connecting directly to me. (:

  201. Rachael says:

    I loved this advice Matthew! I’m always thinking of the ‘big picture’ of trying to get a guy, and I’ve never thought of just having good moments before. And that’s a great way to think! Much more positive that way, and I like that. I’m going to think that way from now on! I hope!
    Loved the video! Hopefully your cut above your eye gets better soon!
    Regarding the video, I did like the long take. It was nice to get a long video, although any video you put out, is great :)

  202. Oksana says:

    The way you share your ideas is perfect. As for me, the form means nothing, but the content is very important. I enjoy your video, it helps me not to give up.

  203. Debbie Ellis says:

    I enjoyed the fact that you did not cut any of the video you put to air in the world of wide web.
    As for noticing your very small injury from the boxing ring, I did not until you pointed it out. My concentration was more on the message you are putting out there and your smile!!! I am book marking this so that i can return to this page as often as I need to.

  204. Alissa says:

    I liked it this way! Felt more authentic I think:)

  205. Carrie says:

    Matthew,

    Yes, I enjoyed this piece longer and uncut. Very informative!! A lot of useful information!! Thanks!!! Very helpful…. needed this today for sure!!

  206. Laydee says:

    i really liked the sincerity of this video and the topic…i was swearing off men after having a man actually hand me my card back after asking for my number…it was very strange and confusing. He seemed confused for some reason as well. The truth is that i was not interested in him…just getting out there….and my second time out, i struck out again. So thank you Mathew for this video. You are sincere and i just want to “eat you up” xo

  207. Stephanie says:

    Hey Matt!

    I really liked this video! Because with or without cuts, the authenticity and passion of every video you put up is there. And I think that’s all that matters. As far as this video went, I enjoyed hearing more of what you had to say. So I think the amount of time for it was perfect, especially since the information was very applicable to my life right now. Today I will go out and create great moments and be fully enveloped by them. Thanks for the great advice!

    Much love and warmth,

    Stephanie R

  208. Angela says:

    Hi! I didn’t mind the length at all. It was very valuable and relatable. Not in the love context because I’m happily married, but I do feel tired sometimes – literally and figuratively. I do feel ‘stung’ sometimes, and I really appreciated your positive message. Thanks, that was just what I needed. See you in October.

  209. Hala says:

    In fact i liked the video like this without any cuts … & I didn’t see it was too long. It was great and it ment so much me.

  210. Vie says:

    Hi Matt

    You’re bang on the nail with this one. For me anyway. I hadn’t really said I’m done with relationships but I have not been trying for over a year. Just seemed easier and less fearful and I could tell friends “I am just sorting myself out first.”. Anyway I am about to book some group guitar lessons which I have also been putting off because i realised after your vid that I’d always imagined being able to share my music with a partner.

    Thanks for pulling the wool off my eyes.

  211. Marisa says:

    Hi Matthew,
    thank you!
    It is much better to think about building a moment in life – a very special one, making a connection, than having this BIG picture of getting married!!! huggg… it is overwhelming – because we build a lot of expectations instead, on us, on the other person, on the way we think things must be… Expectations equal pressure on our emotional state so better not even think about it. So, I am so happy I hear your advice.

    Yes, I notice your little something in the eyelid :)

    And the video was great, I enjoyed the long.
    Blessings,
    Marisa

  212. Linda says:

    I enjoyed this video version more than the cut videos. Thanks!

  213. nichole mason says:

    you were having a moment, and the connection was felt……the realness and the continued thoughts felt as if you and I were having a conversation about how to get me “back out there” without all my fears, judgments, history and a genuine smile…thanks Matt you make me believexoxoxo

  214. Michele says:

    I really liked this one and the longer videos that you do. 10 minutes or so is perfect, not too long and not too short. I get more out of it than say a 3 minute video.
    Thank you, Matthew !

  215. Christine says:

    Hey Matt,

    I love this video more than the cut videos, I think it’s a real gift to be able to listen to you give advice for a longer period of time. I loved it. I’m sorry you got punched, though. That must’ve been painful. :( Thanks for the great advice, I really needed this today.

    Christine

  216. Sheila says:

    Thanks for Done with love. Good video as ever & all in one go was impressive as much as anything. I’ve just finished reading your book Get the Guy & at the age of 54 I learned a whole lot! I can see where I might have misinterpreted a few things. I was also wondering how I could have done things differently with a friendship over the last 8 months…now ended. I’ve been mostly single for 10 years & had I been told that 10 years ago I wouldn’t have believed it! Had a few dates but found it easier to be independent while being a single parent. My son was 8 when I split with his dad. So now he’s 18 & I’ve finished a degree alongside work I was thinking is life ‘Simpler single?’. Maybe I am missing out!

  217. Christina says:

    Keep the long shot, it gives you time to settle, think and take it in. Keeps the stress level down ;-)
    Thanks for slicing the goal down, it keeps it real!!

  218. Emilie says:

    hey Matt
    I love the way this video is shot as it is much more natural
    I actually don’t like your other videos when things are cut and put together, it doesn’t “feel” as good as this
    xxx

  219. Irit says:

    LOVED it this way! Just perfectly reall!

  220. Sophie says:

    It’s really great that way, no cuts, long video, I really liked it. you’re hilarious :)

  221. Tiffany says:

    Hi Matthew!

    I really liked the way this video was done and gave me a new perceptive about love.

    Thanks!

    Tiffany

  222. Emily says:

    Matt,

    Great format, speaking directly in some long shot. The content is Ah-mazing!

    Be present.

    Brilliant and classic advice.
    Thanks for giving up all hope!
    ~Emily
    NYC

    PS. Not sure that push is a moment you want to recreate….. :)

  223. Kelly says:

    I liked the uncut version. Honestly, I listened to it more than I watched, multi-tasking, you know, but I enjoyed how candid you were. Thanks for sharing

  224. Jo Seymour says:

    Matt,
    Your wise thoughts are always worth listening to so the longer version was good. Maybe a mix of both long & cut would be the best option.
    I love your uncut stuff at the end, it makes your messages feel really personal.
    Do u ever think of doing some pieces with Mandy Hale of “the single woman” fame. Much as her message would appear to be the polar opposite of yours it’s really not and I have found the two of you have given me fabulous insight & advice after a very difficult break up. You both emphasise confidence and self worth and that’s a great combination.
    Thanks for your ongoing advice. You make a real difference
    Jo x

  225. Paige says:

    Thanks for the video. I really needed it. I’ve not only been giving up on dating but all relationships even friends due to past experiences. Starting at a new university in a few days and looking forward to learning to trust people.
    The video did seem a little long. Great stuff, but a few minutes too much. Overall the flow felt better to watch than jumping around.
    I was wondering what was up with your eye. Thank you for letting us know.

  226. Jo says:

    Thanks for the inspiration and good vibes, Matt! Found the way you shot the video very natural and captivating, just as if you were in my own living room.

  227. Carmen says:

    Hello Matt, Thank you for your inspirational words on sunday morning! yes loved the long version of video(old school style). Yes, on the second question.I was wondering what happened to your eye.(thought it was your dog). I’m totally living my single life the way you described in video!! Taking each moment for what it is! #Empowerment #Networking #Enjoying life #CreatingOpportunities and passing the video to my 18yr old daughter.
    Thank you, Always for your inspiring words…
    Carmen

  228. nim says:

    Hey I watch your show “Ready for love” in Thailand right now. I was sad it was took out in the US. Now I came back to Thailand…OMG!!! It is here!!

    Congratulation to the good way out!

  229. Faith says:

    Hey Matt!

    I hear you. Really you say the same thing no matter what the situation you are going through; albeit in such a gracious way every time.

    The Problem: A couple of days ago I felt so despondent about life as it was a long weekend and I knew I would spend it “getting” to do housework, homework and spending it with my 6 year old. While all those things are toward the good in themselves, it just meant screamingly that I would again not take time for myself and developing connected moments. Having said that, I realize that I must create those moments for myself.

    The Past: My past relationships have been plagued with my inability to connect with others on a deep level and express my own needs. As a result I have attracted people who cannot do the same. You helped me see that Matt and I thank you for that. My own trust issues have just helped me attract others who cannot trust fully. Very much a blind leading the blind scenario.

    Connections: So now I have tried to really connect with my existing relationships and to be open to new ones. My main goal has been just that–focusing on the moment. I have met someone who I am forcing myself to stay in the moment with and to focus mainly on my growth into being a better me. A better me is a better relationship in the long run with all people. What is really ironic is that my new job requires me to meet new people everyday and to impart this wisdom in helping them meet their potential. I can see why you do what you do. Its awesome to support people in their life journey.

    The Vids/Jameson: The long content curve without cuts are more authentic and we all know you can rant for a long time without stopping, so yeah… Jameson will have to do something else with his non editing time. Though editing is fun–a long time ago in another life I wanted to be an film editor. Sorry Jameson… maybe you can work on a collage of past incarnations of Matt’s hair? Just a thought.

    Thanks again for being you Matt. Your “living up here” area is looking good.

    Cheers,

    Faith

  230. Joyce says:

    Hi Matt!
    I love this video. It’s exactly what I needed :)
    Thank you for being you! x

  231. Mariam Manneh says:

    Hey Matt,

    Thought the video link was great. Perfect in length, timing, ideas, concepts. Best one I have seen so far. Keep on inspiring us ladies to go the extra mile. Just when I thought I was going around in circles you have given me food for thought.

    Thanks. Stay cool and relevant :0) Mariam x

  232. Liezel Van Der Sandt says:

    Good grief Matthew, I totally love this video!

    The timing of releasing it is so perfect because so many people suffer from Sunday Neurosis!

    I just have to share some of my story here, maybe it will help other readers…

    In the beginning of this year, I decided I would surround myself with men who have good things to say to me and about me. Guys who are gentle and compassionate, yet well rooted in their masculinity…and the journey has been pretty incredible! It’s hard to weed out the slackers and also call youself to account on lowering your standards for the sake of others!

    And I’ve got to say Matthew, that you have made it onto ‘the list’ of those guys who I will regularly allow to ‘sow’ goodness into my life…

    Many changes have taken place in my life, and I identify so much with what you say about ‘creating moments’. Yesterday, on my way out of the grocery store, a very nice looking man approached me and said, ” you look like a wonderful woman, be blessed and have a great evening”. Honestly, I was so taken aback that I almost bumped all the chocolates off the shelf next to me….it was really quite comical!!

    My point is, that that ‘moment’ really made my day, because it affirmed my belief, and what you keep saying. ….there are good guys out there. Nothing stays the same, things always change. The challenge is to be like a boxer….get up and keep on going! No pain, no gain…

    Thanks Matt, all my girls are going to see this!

    Take care,

    Liezel
    South Africa

  233. andie says:

    Matt…always love your insightful videos. Not longat all iin fact not long enough lol! Always useful info that helps me to grow and see areas where I am in need of correction. This piece reached out and grabbed me because I ended a beautiful realtionship with a man my junior where there was definate chem and interest but because I wanted things to move faster where he wsnt quite ready …you could say I lost him. We hav again picked up our friendship and I am taking it as just that and letting things grow on there own. This video helped me in that I will take the precious moments over the bigger pic anyday. much cudos to you as always :-)

  234. Stella says:

    I always enjoy seeing your videos Matt, the length was ok, don’t worry about that!

  235. sarah says:

    Hey Matt, that is a great video. Like the format very much as seems like you are sitting in same room and talking directly (not just to camera). Thankyou for your continued posts. Although I am seeing someone they are still very relevant.
    Take care, sarah

  236. Janja says:

    The video was great…thank you Matthew for such good advice!

  237. Lucia says:

    Hi Matt,

    This video was great. You’re a great life coach and so natural too. I can tell that you rehearsed a little bit in your head and with your notes and then you allowed it to flow from you. That’s one of the best things about you, because we can see how authentic you are about sharing your knowledge. You are so inspiring. Thank you for being such an amazing gift to us. Love, Lucia (from Argentina)

  238. VJ says:

    I thought the content was good so the length was fine. Your message needs to be as long as it needs to be. I also liked it without the cuts, sometimes they are distracting.
    I live in the Palm Springs area and it’s like living in the Gay 90′s,–all the single available men are either gay or 90. What advice would you give to someone like me who doesn’t go to bars, I’m actively involved with my passions, yet I never seem to meet single men who are age appropriate? Have a joy filled day, VJ

  239. Megan says:

    Matthew- This is exactly what I needed to hear at the exact moment I needed to hear it! I’ve been skeptical in the love department lately as I’m on the eve of my 30th birthday (and the typical panicking has ensued, haha). Thank you so much for this video, I believe it will truly help me try to put things into a different perspective, so I’m not putting so much pressure on myself and the other person. Love the fact that it was longer and uncut! More of that please. :)

  240. Kerly says:

    The video was perfect like that!:)
    And thanks for it, Yeah sometimes it really feels like giving up on men, but at the same time, life is not as fun without them!
    I need men in my life, pain or joy, I need them:)

    Love you Matthew!xxx

  241. Dana Harris says:

    Hi, Matt!

    Before I provide feedback regarding the video, I just want to say that your hair looks fantastic. Very classy and sexy.

    Today’s video was wonderful. I enjoyed it. It was authentic truth spoken given with such love. I enjoyed this video more. I felt more connected with the message because of its authenticity and practicality. However, do not give up on the cut versions because they are so hilarious and when they’re entertaining I learn just as much.

    There is something I’ve been desiring to share with you. By making this one simple adjustment to your videos would broaden your audience. It will add another layer classiness and another level of strength to your videos and it’s content.

    • Dana Harris says:

      Would you kindly consider choosing not using profanity in your videos. I say this with love. Matt, you are a creative person that uses choice words that flows from your being. The use of profanity is so common, you are so above that. I’m not sure if you’re using it to make a connection with everyone else. But you can still make that connection through your sincerity,being genuine, being authentic with us your audience as you did with the last two videos.

      You are such a gentleman and I’m sure you know the gentleman and princes that use profanity. But still it’s common and it’s a way to connect on a common level. Again you are above that. You choose words so perfectly. You have an amazing ability to create. So, create a new possibility of developing a new word to bring across that thought. By doing this in allows me to share the videos with my community without fear because the thing that I share represents me. I’m not common. Now, I hope you don’t think this is me putting limitations on who you are. I’m not. I just speak about words. But words are also the condition of the heart. Choose your words like you choose gem stones. Choose your words like you choose your lady. Because I know you are your word. You are so creative, perfectly on point and direct with the use of words you. Allow your communication to rise one more It’s professional. It’s beautiful. It’s brilliant. As you are, let it your communication left you Let’s this . are very poignant to me profanity is common it is your gentleman

      • Dana Harris says:

        Oh! My! I used Siri (iphone) and I did not proofread this. My apologies for the improperly placed pronouns and other grammatical fumbles.

        Hugs to you, Matt, my brother.

        Dana

        Oh! Update since we spoke in Philly. I decided to just remain friends. After coming to your seminar I learned a lot about myself and I desire more in a mate. And I’m just going to let it happen without expectation or hope. I prefer surprises. and precious moments.

  242. Mel says:

    I’m sure the other girls can help me with this, whats that film where she says ‘Don’t look for Mr Right, look for Mr Right Now.’ – It’s killing me cause I can’t remember but it seemed so appropriate for this video. :)

  243. Jennifer says:

    Excellent vid. Applies to many areas beyond love. Uncut is great. Cheers fron austin tx.

  244. Tracy says:

    I loved this longer piece and also like the way you mentioned older women. I have just turned 47 and have 2 failed marriages behind me! For the past 2 years I have tried internet dating and that hasn’t gone as well as I would like it to either. I am definitely ready to give up and have been saying this for a few months now! However, having watched to this I have a glimmer of hope and think that maybe I can still find someone to be with as I know I have so much to give and so many experiences to live through and learn from. Thanks Matthew.

  245. Lexi says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I much preferred the non-edited video. It was a lot more powerful, and really made me reflect on what I’ve been going through for the past several months. I too have been feeling like I was done with love. I’m 34, and have been out with guy after guy that has been a letdown after letdown. It was inspiring to watch your passion about the subject. So thank you.

  246. Kathryn says:

    Thank you Matthew for this weeks video.
    You are so right in what you say. I am totally with you on all points but when you are beaten down by making a mistake it takes a while to get up again.
    I went and blurted out how I felt recently, only for it not to be reciprocated. I felt in such physical pain. Anyhow I was actually already ill and I gradually looked like I had been in the boxing ring and lost. The virus tracked down to my eye, so believe me you look pretty compared.
    I was going to write that I like the fact it was not continually cut before you asked. Much better, you somehow come over more sincere, it looks less rehearsed more from the heart this way.
    K xx

  247. Sarah says:

    Matthew, is that all you get from boxing is that little cut? I’m going to have to rewatch those Rocky movies (teasing, you are darling…). I really enjoyed the uncut video, it seemed positive and spontaneous and sincere and imperfect, the sort of qualities you encourage us to embrace when we’re out and about. Having said that, I dont mind the edited videos, those are great as well, finely distilled and on point…..What I really want to see is the bloopers video—Jameson?

  248. Christina says:

    Loved it old school! Can’t find a negatory on getting more advice. And a ps – even better. Hope the boo boo heals up nicely- till then- new conversation piece, eh!?

  249. Tammy says:

    You’re hilarious, Matthew (laughing at yourself at the end). That’s great.

    The video works well unedited. We’re able to take in all the conversation without question (i.e. wondering “What was it that he cut out? Maybe I would have found that to have been useful too.”) To be honest, I enjoy listening to your conversations — the longer, the better. I’m just intrigued by your accent. It’s very therapeutic.

    always,
    Tammy

    — The best therapy doesn’t look like therapy at all, but rather it looks like a good conversation!

  250. Mari says:

    Surprised that your examples early in this one makes it sound like the woman’s responsibility, mistakes, projections, rather than actual behaviors of men. Women are telling you they don’t “move on” because these behaviors are prevalent. The rare person is rare. Maybe guys need to look at themselves. Your point is well taken but you may be missing the point women are telling you, that you started with. Some generalizations are true. The “different mindset” and “new approach” are — according to this vid — that women “trust more” and “give more space” and “not strangle them…..” Maybe with editing, you wouldn’t have come off as blaming women, rather than encouraging women to be open to new possibilities. Thank you.

    • Mari says:

      HELLO MATT!!! Will you please DELETE this? I clicked a box to be notified of replies. Unfortunatley, my mailbox is full of messages every time someone replies to your post. When I click to “Manage Subscriptions” to try to change this, I get a 404 Page Missing messages. THANK YOU!! <3

      • Angela Kelly says:

        Hi Mari, I just saw your comment and I’m experiencing the same thing too !!!! I”m so annoyed with all the e-mails I’m getting from this blog and not being able to stop them. I’ve had to turn my mail off,

        I hope you get sorted as it’s really really annoying,
        Angela

  251. Sharon says:

    Loved the longer piece- thank you! It made a ton of sense and gave me a little hope, and at 38 hope is what I need! Thanks for the laugh at the end of your blogs too ;-)

  252. Jane says:

    I don’t know about creating chunks. I’m almost 41 and I still want a baby. I don’t have time to waste dating casually. But at the same time I’ve been alone for almost 4 years trying to manifest my soulmate. I believe it’s all a mantter of luck. Some have it, others don’t!

  253. rivy says:

    I loved it, i literally got an epiphany from watching this.

  254. Amy says:

    I loved this longer video! You really spoke to me because I was one of those who did everything right, and my husband of seventeen years still repeatedly cheated on me and left me. He even told me when he left for good the last time that there was nothing wrong with me and that he was the broken one, but I still have trouble believing that. I want to embrace my potential and not be afraid anymore. Thank you, Matthew!

  255. Max Lauren says:

    Sweetie don’t cut a thing, the more you talk the bigger my smile. (:>)

    Your Cougar

    P.S
    Get a Haircut

  256. Franzy says:

    Hey Matt!
    Thank you for making this video. I really liked the fact that you didn’t cut it. I really enjoyed watching it because you just let your ideas and your advice flow without any interruptions. I’d love to see more of these uncut videos because it feels more natural to me. Thank you for your advice and support, Matt!

  257. Kami says:

    Loved it without the cuts!

  258. Cristina says:

    That was one the most sincere, heartfelt and inspiring moments I have had the pleasure of “sort of” sharing with you. Thank you Matthew!

    I had basically given up and believed that I wasn’t meant to find anyone special, after having only one date in my entire 36 years of life. Shocking as that may be, what’s more surprising is that I’m sharing this very private, humiliating and difficult part of my life with absolute strangers. However, it is what it is! And you have helped me realise that it REALLY is about simply enjoying life’s little moments with others day to day. I have been putting way too much of my focus on the “big things” as you put it.

    Thanks Matt for my new “growth” spurt! I truly hope that one day I will get to share one of those “life moments” with you or at least someone as special as you.

  259. Jackie says:

    Hi Matt, I routinely see facts on YourTango that say that 60% of married men have admitted cheating and that 55% of men would be bothered if their partner gained weight. Statistics like this are another reason why I often think/feel “why bother”? Why bother if the odds are high that you will be hurt and betrayed. But then I think, there are 40% of married men and 45% of guys who wouldn’t cheat (assuming they are telling the truth) and aren’t bothered by weight gain. So my question is, how can I find them and how can I determine that they are these kind of men? the loyal and not shallow kind?

  260. Funmi says:

    Hello Matthew,

    I enjoyed the longer video in its natural state. :)
    This video was just what I needed to keep me from throwing
    in the towel with relationships. Thank you so much for your
    videos, I feel like I have my own personal life coach and
    relationship mentor. ;)

  261. Louise says:

    Great Matthew! Loved the uncut au naturel version and just what I needed to hear right now. Thank you and all the best to you.

    Louise

  262. Luly says:

    Loved the video, Matt!! Loved the longer style too, however, your video formats are wonderful either way, because of the wonderful messages and advice you deliver in every single one. I can’t get enough of them!

    Thank you for always, ALWAYS coming through. Your program and book have changed me and the way I approach and handle the experiences in my love life.

    I promise you that I will be sending you a hand written thank you card very soon…thanking you for the wonderful program you have developed and how it helped me find the love of my life (and I’ll include a picture of us as well) :)

    xoxo

    Luly

  263. Maria says:

    Great video, keep talking, man! Your way of thinking helps me a lot! :)

  264. Elysa says:

    Hi Matthew !
    Thanks for this video, it’s really helpful, like your other videos ! (Sorry if I do mistakes I’m french). The longer of the video is good, it’s not too long.
    I wanted to know if there are stores in France where I can buy your book ?
    Otherwise, I’ll keep watch all you videos because you always say what I need to hear, you have always great advice ! And you help me to improve my english ahah.

    Thank you,

    Elysa

  265. Donna says:

    No cuts. Loved it!

  266. Melanie Harrington says:

    Liked it longer, without edits! x

  267. Angela Kelly says:

    Dearest Matthew,

    I have a bittersweet comment for you:

    The bitter…….I have given up on love, I don’t think I will get close to anyone again. The reason is because 2 years ago, a very close male friend of mine passed away from leukaemia at the age of 34. We had been friends since we were children and after he passed away, I felt like my entire guts had been ripped out…..I felt lost, empty and devastated. A few days after, I considered ending my own life as I couldn’t bear the thought of living without him. A month after, my dear sister lost her husband at the age of 50, so we were both going through the same pain and we still are. I never want to go through it again so if that means being on my own, then that’s ok.

    The sweet…….In the last year I have been studying for a BSc, and because of my grief, found it hard to concentrate and got behind with my work. I contacted your team as I love your style of coaching ( I have commented on here before and said that !) and for the last 3 weeks I have been having phone coaching with one of your team called Raj and he is amazing !!!! He has helped me get back on track with my studies and is now helping me to learn how to take care of myself.

    I shall be having coaching from your team, hopefully Raj, for a long time as it is helping me tremendously,

    I will post again soon,
    Have a wonderful day , Matthew,

    Angela

  268. Chandni says:

    PPS. Liked the video and the way you shot it in one go with no cuts. Definitely something to keep x

  269. Laura says:

    Matt,
    I enjoyed the video. More of you is good. Honestly I think any format looking at you and hearing you talk will be a winner. Xoxo. Laura

  270. Jamie says:

    I loved the video! It doesn’t matter how long or short your videos are in length. I’m just happy and thankful to have someone who gives good advice and encouragement when I feel like giving up! Thanks for everything! Please bring your seminars/weekends to St. Louis or the Mid-West!

  271. Chandni says:

    Hi Matt,

    Firstly thanks so much for your video, which I found I could absolutely relate to.

    As someone in their early thirties, I put a lot of pressure on myself to find ‘Mr Right’ and have felt like giving up on men increasingly!

    I especially liked the idea of creating moments, rather than looking at the big goal – that way we put a lot less pressure on ourselves and if the ‘end goal’ doesn’t quite work out its a lot easier to start again.

    Thanks again,

    Chandni

    P.S. hope the bruise gets better soon, you still look hot ;)

  272. Tracy says:

    I really like the longer video clips. I have already bought into Fast Track to Mr Right and Keep the Guy which I’m now watching for the second time round and these additional weekly videos enhance the messages you give in your programmes.

    Thank you for this video which really struck a chord with me, having just had my heart broken again for the umpteenth time. This helped to raise my spirits. You are so inspirational and motivating with a very natural presentation style. Wish I could afford you as my personal Life Coach, but I gueass this is the next best thing.

  273. Patricia says:

    Hey Matt, it’s Brazil here again!

    It doesnt matter how long or short your videos are, I know you always put your heart into it to try to help us become better people. I thank you one more time for the amazing message you brought in this one, and for the hope you’ve created inside me. I have always had this big vision about finding someone and getting married that I ended up screwing up everything. Now that you told us to chunk it down I can see what my mistakes are. Finally!!

    You’re awesome!

    Have a great Sunday!

    Patricia xoxo

  274. Diane says:

    I did notice the mark above your eye. Do you box as a hobby or was that a joke? I like your silliness at the end of the video. You come across as genuine, I like that.
    This was a good video with some unique perspectives, things I haven’t thought of before.
    Thanks.
    Diane

  275. Julianna says:

    Thank you Matthew for this video. First of all I totally enjoyed it , it wasn’t long it was just right for the subject. I’m 64 years old and been a widow for 35 years and never married again. I raised my children until the youngest (I had 3) left home at 18. Didn’t get started dating until 2006. I’ve come to a point in my life that I’ve had enough of dating. I look young for my age and for some odd reason I keep attracting the same type of guys. Young and just want to have fun. In spite of my declaration at the beginning, I want to find a friend first and if it progress to a deeper relationship then I’ve found not only my best friend but my life long partner. Guys always agrees with me until I meet them in person, after several emails and phone calls, and they just expect kisses, hugs and intimacy on the first date. Which then turns me off. I’m modest in my attire when i go on a date so not to lead the guy on. Thank you for this video it inspired me to keep on and keep tracking. I do love to travel and most of the time I do it alone. Most friends I have don’t have the resources to do it. Well thanks a million Matthew.

  276. Lisa says:

    Loved the longer and natural video; especially when you’re on a roll and the ideas and advice flow.
    Fantastic video and perfect timing! Your advice to ‘chunk it down’ was spot on. I find myself looking at the end goal of a relationship but not enjoying the shared moments of the present. Thank you so much for your video! Keep up your fabulous work!

  277. Whitney says:

    Hello Matthew!

    I loved this video! It came along right when I needed it. I do have a question for you though: how can I go about making moments with someone when I have no experience?

    My parents were completely against me dating throughout grade school. My mother gave birth to me at 17, so she is fiercely protective of me and does not trust men. I am now in my second year of college and would at least like to try to have something with someone! I have never even been kissed, so this train should be leaving the station ASAP! Haha :)

    I went to a few parties Freshman year, but I only seemed to attract very creepy men. One in particular still messages me, wanting to go out, when he has a girlfriend! I have no clue what to do or how to start conversations because I am so inexperienced.

    SOS Matt! Throw me a lifeline!
    (And have a great day!)
    Whitney

    P.S. I love the video length! Without the cuts, it was very raw.

    • Rachel says:

      Hi Whitney,
      Make sure that you’re dating someone because you really want to date them, not because you feel you’re missing out. Trust me, it’s better to be with someone you care about, and cares for you back. You show pride and self value if you wait until a really nice guy comes along. As for the guy with the girlfriend. He needs to make a choice. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to find out someone you’re with is cheating, if he’s the sort of guy who’d do that do you really want to get involved with him? Tread carefully and don’t rush in. My friend was 21 when she had a boyfriend for the first time. They have been happily married for 3 years. Good luck and take care x

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Whitney, take a look at this post I did a bit ago, think it’ll be right up your alley : )
      http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/blog/become-a-great-conversationalist/

      x

      • Whitney says:

        That video was perfect! I can’t wait to try everything that I have learned thus far! Matthew, thank you so much, for all of your tips even in other videos. I’m still catching up on them all, but I’ve passed them along to my friends and I can see your pointers have really helped them!

        Best wishes,
        Whitney

  278. Alena says:

    Good Morning Matthew!

    I enjoy all your videos but this one, by far, is my favorite. Not only do I like it because its longer, but it seemed less “Hollywood” and more “Matt Hussey – cheerleader, confidante, that one person who’s always got our backs”.
    Maybe I also liked it because your message was what I needed to hear today. You see, the last few months have been pretty fun since I started following your advice. The first few weeks were filled with meeting guys and just having fun embracing the excitement. However the past few weeks have filled me with sheer terror.

    My entire life I have been surrounded by dyfunctional, abusive, unhappy marriages. No wonder mine was the same. In fact just yesterday I announced to my sister that I will Never, Ever get remarried or into a relationship again!

    The success I’ve been experiencing meeting guys has unearthed this deep fear. Fear that this will lead to another relationship in which I will experience the same emotional manipulation, control issues and belittling. This fear resulted in me sabatoging potential relationshipships or by out right running the other way after the initial meet up.
    I had just gotten to the point that I had decided I was too wounded, broken, imperfect to ever find someone to ride off into the sunset with; that noone would ever really want me once they truly got to know me. Then along came today’s video.
    Thank you for reminding me to enjoy the present moment and to stop over thinking. Thank you for the reminder that life is about connecting with people and growing. It’s not about Being perfect in order to find Mr Perfect. I wish I could properly express how much this video applies to me; you even made me cry :)

    As for your eye….love it! Most women want a man with a little danger about him, don’t they? I imagine its only increased your success with the ladies, you sexy thang, you ;)

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
    Alena ~xo

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      This is outstanding Alena. I have a huge smile on my face reading this! I love your tenacity and conviction in moving forward now : )
      Thank you lovely, take care!

      x

  279. Yan says:

    Dear Matt,
    Thank you for making these videos. Wow! You are one of my inspirational teachers. (Yes I said teachers)
    Your videos always motivate me and are helpful reminders of how much fun it is out there! I honestly don’t care about the format. Mixing things up is always fun! ;)

    And by the way that little cut is nothing. I’m sure you can take any punch and come out looking super awesome as always.

    Xo

  280. Jackie says:

    Hi!
    I love this video! It’s Not too long, matter of fact, I love the amount of depth and passion you put into this topic. It is easy to want to give up, so thank you for encouraging peoeple to have the courage to still interact and enjoy the moment by taking the pressure off by “chunking it down.” Taking trips alone can be scary, but if we never go anywhere, we will miss what life has to offer, that includes meeting new friends.

    Also, I would like do add about the patterns we may see in Our relationships is an opportunity for us to look into ourselves and see what believes we are sending out, so we can shift them in order to no attract those unwanted patterns I to our lives. This requires self honesty and healing. It it’s all worth it in the end – to k ow and belief that we are valuable, loveable, and worthy of good relations.

  281. Jackie says:

    Thank you so much for this video. It was exactly what I needed to hear today. I’ve been struggling with my tendency to hold on too tight and not stay in the moment. And I’ve been freaking out about this new relationship, creating issues that don’t exist. So thanks for talking me off the ledge.
    PS- I prefer the longer videos

  282. Heather says:

    Hey Matt,hope all is well and it looks like Cali is treating you well!
    First off luv the uncut longer versions the flows seems better..
    Yes,your absolutely spot on yet again.I’v listen and you have taught me well over the past 2years.Thats my and my good friend Olexa motto,NEVER give up!May,have some rejections and pain on long the way,But the experience make me STONGER.Things to do and not to do.Things I want and don’t.In the passed I used to make up this little fairy tale in my head and of course it never remotely worked out.Or I used to let things boil in my head and had resentment.But no longer I have come into a different place and a new and better person but still me!
    I just had this horrible experience.I took one day to be by myself and and regroup and the next morning a wolk up with a smile on my face and went back out there and enjoying every minute of it..Btw your absolutely hilarious!You know how you say don’t point things out as the person probably didn’t notice and now they deffently do.Through that whole video never noticed your eye until you pointed it out,Lol;)

    Heather Xoxo

  283. Kelsi says:

    Love ya, Matt.

    Just wanted to point out something. In your book, you talk about how we can see red flags early on. I agree. I just did not expect one here, in your own video. You said “I cannot promise I will listen. Sometimes we just do things because we want to”. This was a huge red flag. When I hear similar things from guys, I automatically think : “stubborn”, “won’t be open”.

    Please know that I am not labeling you as any of those things mentioned above. I am just sharing what I felt – as a gut reaction. Maybe it will help you – like when an X-gf told you you were too busy and boring all the time. And maybe it won’t. But at least, you get to think about it for a min.

    In all honesty, I wish some one would point out my possible red flags so I could work on them. I do not consider it a bad thing when done gently and caringly.

    Thank you for the video.

    Love ya, Matt ! XX :)

  284. Rachel says:

    Hi matt,
    I loved this video and it came right on time as I found myself giving up on love. I’ve never been lucky before when it comes to this matter but this gave me a new perspective on things.
    By the way I like this long video with no cuts it shows that it comes from the heart, but you should chose the style of each video depending on its subject.
    Thank you for being so awesome!

  285. Ana Díaz says:

    Matt, I loved this video. I don’t know how you do it, but your videos always come on the right time. Thank you so much for being a coach and an inspiration to us!

  286. Sei says:

    Hi I like the longer version without cut! Pls do this more often! Thanks!

  287. Rachel says:

    Hi Matthew,

    First I’d like to say that the uncut, less organised style of video works really well. It makes your words seem more as if they’re from the heart. All your videos are great but this format suits your style and the types of messages you portray better.

    I’d like to tell you about someone else’s moment which I captured purely by accident. I was a bridesmaid for my friend’s wedding, say watching as the newlywed couple took to the floor for their first dance. I snapped away with my camera trying to get a decent picture of them. By chance I caught a brief moment when they stood together with their eyes closed, their foreheads together. I believe that photograph says more about them than any words could. It’s a moment of complete surrender, the rest of the world doesn’t matter.

    That’s the sort of moment I hope for. When I’m with someone who I can feel comfortable enough to “lean” on someone and have them “lean” on me too…metaphorically speaking. That doesn’t have to be a romantic attachment, that theory can apply to friendships too.

  288. Danielle says:

    Matthew Hussey I have a question for you ! Or the people working for him…

    What if you’re ready for love and not only lover’s love but friendships, family .. general love, but close people around you or people whom you live with aren’t ready and aren’t at a stage where you are in life. How do you live with that without getting frustrated or starting to have self doubt.(sorry for the bad English I’m from Belgium)

    Thank you ,

    Danielle xx

  289. Amy says:

    Hey Matt,

    Its Amy here.. So… what perfect timing for this video … I don’t want to give up.. I just want to meet some more great men, where are they?! I’m going to re-read your book again. I’ve always stopped at “Keep the Guy” because I haven’t gotten that far… Maybe I need to read on??

    If I have one more person (including my EX husband!) ask me how in the world am I still single … I will scream!!! >>> I FEEL THAT WAY TOO!!

    I love the longer more natural video … Great job.. Jameson too! :) Im feeling down… Just woke up drinking my morning tea, saw that the video was longer then normal.. title was great I got excited for inspiration and I settled down to watch. I wasn’t disappointed!

    Thank you! Keep them coming!
    Amy

    Ps. I’ve done as you asked and passed it on to three people. :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      So so happy you enjoyed it and passed it on! Really means the world to know that it is helpful and had a positive effect on your morning : )
      Take care Amy!

      x

  290. Cassie says:

    Thanks Matt! I really enjoyed the video and needed to hear what you said today. You always give such great advice

  291. Nicky says:

    I really enjoy listening to your vids Matt. They always put a smile on my face. I’ve never thought “I’m done with love” the thought of being that negative is scary! I like the long version too, more smiling time. Thanks and keep ‘em coming.x

  292. LETTING GO says:

    I like the longer version as you go over what your saying and it sticks better in my little brain more!!

    This video is just where im at!
    Im 39 and finally letting go. Had my first date in 4 years and FIRST EVER DATE where i wasn’t nervous ok so i didn’t feel out of my league which helped…
    This time i decided not to sensor every word that came out my mouth not to worry that i was wearing socks and pumps with a dress!!
    Just going to be me and going on a second date in a week! with no expectation only to have a fun eve that is all as its been forever since i dated and have to have time for it all to sink in and enjoy

    Thanks again Mat all you give so constructive..

  293. clara66 says:

    You’re so funny. Great message. I will remember little chunks as I go about my day tomorrow….like pineapple chunks ;) I enjoy both styles of video, keep up the excellent work.

  294. Leah says:

    I like hearing your thought pattern- helps me make more sense of what you’re saying so I can move right with you and internalize it! :)

  295. Carrie says:

    This is great! I like longer videos with no cuts! ;) Thank you so much for this wonderful video! :D

  296. Helen says:

    Hi Matthew,

    You always seem to say the right thing or come into my life with your wise advise just at the right moment for me. I am 48 yrs old and feel so dispondent and completely feel like thats it, I just have to get used to the fact that there is no one out there for me. Women I meet that are a similar age to myself and my single girlfriends all feel the same. When I speak with them I empathize as I feel their pain too, yet see it as a complete waste as they are beautiful women not only on the outside but within. It really saddens me, not only for their pain but the hopelessness they and I feel. I will take on board your advise and spread your words. The video it great, not too long (mind you I could listen to you all day being easy on the eye also helps ;-)) sorry going of track!! so yes the video… it’s very natural without the cuts. Thank you once again. Lots of love
    Helen xx

  297. Tanja says:

    Dear Matt.

    You are sincerely good at interpreting your thoughts. But you already know that;) You could be a profesor of “Human potencial”(for examle), you have the ability to fulfil the empty spaces between ideas with bridges of suspense. This moments are so powerful when you speak, because they make me excite to keep creating.
    And I want to save up this video in my pocket literaly, because of its value in my daily life. You are such a wild wolf with hearted eyes…:)

    Bye*

    Tanja

  298. Susan says:

    I just read your book and saw my first video. You are brilliant and adorable. Everything you say resonates with me. I liked the video length. Cheers!

  299. Lisa says:

    I always like the longer videos. I feel like I learn more.

  300. Myra Martinez says:

    Hey Matt!!
    I like your old school style! I love the natural discussion without the editing. I know there is the need to edit at times, but it was nice to hear from the heart without rehearsal or perfection. Reminded me a lot of your starter video blogs. And never too long to hear you handsome person you!!!
    This video came at at the most coincidental time. I actually was telling my mom that I was giving up on love last night. I just have had the worst luck. This video has turned that outlook around. Thank you for your inspiration and dedication to help us through the great times and worse of times.

    Ps…sorry about the eye, are you sure you didn’t upset Jamison??!! J/k ;)

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!
    Myra XXXXXXX

  301. Elizabeth says:

    Matthew sometimes when I listen to your words I think you are an angel sent from God to comfort and encourage the women who want a mate but have not been able to make it happen. May God continue to bless you with wisdom and understanding on the humane brain.
    Eliza.

  302. Rebecca says:

    Brilliant yes prefer longer more time to reflect on what you’re saying. This one is so true and absolutely right when I realised what my big agenda was and droppedIit I could see others too. Am more single than ever but in a great place and working up to it all again from this much healthier bettrr me space its all a journey xxxx thanks for keeping the faith

  303. Séverine says:

    Thanks!!!!

  304. Anita says:

    I liked the longer uncut video. It seemed to flow better.

    Your advice really gets to the point of enjoying the journey
    to get to your destination.

    Love it!

  305. April says:

    Matthew I cracked up laughing when you said you missed the punch in the ring. You’re so funny! ;D What are you doing in a boxing ring?

    On a more serious note, I have given up. I’m newly divorced after 30 yrs of marriage and I am too old for this dating thing. My kids are your age and I’m not sure I can go back to dating after a 35 yr absence! I know you’ll tell me that I can but I lack the confidence, and I’m not hot anymore – I’m old. I don’t feel sexy. I feel old. So, although you have no personal experience with this, and you’re bound to cheer me on, how do I find the confidence to go back to dating after a lifetime of a break!? Thanks.

    • Rebecca says:

      Keep the faith my mum is seventy five dating and putting Matts genius into action the guys love it. Love yourself and you will get there big hugs xxx

      • Anita says:

        I’m probably around your age and have felt the same way at times.

        Keep watching Matthew’s videos~~ they’re great to remind us
        of our inner journeys, while his advice helps to get around
        the bumps in the road!

        You are never too old for new adventures!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Haha glad that made you chuckle April. Boxing is one of my favorite pastimes : )

      Fall in love with yourself again. Find something, an activity, a place, something that reminds you how sexy & vibrant you are! Learn something new for you. Not only will it give you an opportunity to light that spark in yourself again but it will also open up an opportunity to meet knew people : )

      x

  306. Sudevi says:

    I love this longer video, but you could talk for hours and I would always find the time to listen to you Matthew! xoxo

  307. chandrakanthi says:

    hey matthew,

    Thank you soooo much for this video!!
    I’m 27 years old. And in loves areas, I have many failures.
    As you say, you give everything for that love.
    Coincidentally, last week I had such a moment, “I’m done with men because every time I get disappointed.”
    I also had a bad week, as everyone has, that everything goes wrong at that weak .
    I did then close all the doors for me last weak.
    And then I have one of your videos viewed on “peaks and lows in life what you have ‘and that you should learn from the things that did not go well.

    But now I see this video and that gives me hope that I might be can still find the right man for me .
    a question for your: how to build the confidence in yourself again for a new relationship?

    Greetings from chandrakanthi

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Chandrakanthi, I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying the videos : ) When it comes to building confidence again, re-focus yourself. Get into activities, events etc that you personally take an interest. In doing things you love or learning something new, you begin to build self-confidence which will translate into every aspect of your life. Live for you

      x

      • chandrakanthi says:

        heey matthew ,
        thank very much for your advice and tips !!
        I am happy about it and i going to start today with that !!

        God bless you !

        greetings from chandrakanthi

  308. ann says:

    I love it! love the message, love the longer video.

    …oh and about that lil’ mark above your eye, you didn’t duck in time, but I bet your return punch was a good one!

    Bravo for work well done!

  309. Dina says:

    Well,
    I am out of my misery after I started to watch ur videos and reading ur book. I have to say with in the last months I dated so many guys and I had a lot of fun, but the most funny or dramatic part is that finally I found the guy (which is good ) that I dated two of his friends before and with the new Dina I have to say the other guys are in love while I did not really think this time.. So they hate me and stated to gossip me to the guy that I like ( I am so happy I did not stay with the others though) I think if I continue I gonna date all the guys in town;)
    Thank you Matthew
    Well, the new guy does not care about past and he really likes me… I want to have great moments with him as well.
    And about the video: I like both styles! Because I simply love to listen to you any time:)

    Dina

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Dina, thanks so much for watching and for the comment! Glad you two are able to have open conversations about your past history and know where you want to move forward to. Take care lovely.

      Matt x

  310. MM says:

    This was one of your best videos. The grand vision is the by-product of the shared moments. This is important; It is true. Your advice overall is great guidance. It is very important to develop your own character and live your life -on the path of service I’d like to add. Thank you Matthew. This video style is great, without cuts. I enjoyed it. You really summed it all up and quenched it.

  311. Dyonisia says:

    Hey Matt,

    That’s feels great, spoken from the heart.

    Without cuts feels even mauthentic!

    . I love the energy and passion for sharing

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Amazing, thank you Dyonisia!

      x

    • Dyonisia says:

      Oops, my comment below leapt-off unfinished !
      Of course, you’ll easily guess that ‘mauthenic’ = more authentic!

      I like the message!

      If we look after the moments, the big visions look
      after themselves!

      Thanks Matt!

      ps May your eye heal up fast! I enjoy the uncut video style (or with less cuts)
      because its smoother to the eye.

  312. Rumors says:

    Well, even though I agree the video I must say there are people that aren´t just made for a relationship. In my opinion some people (that includes me) are just not made for that kind of things. I like romance and seeing in love people because they are cute but I truly think that those things are not necessarily for me and that´s ok. We don´t live in a world where everybody is made for the same things and, somehow, that is magical too because you center in other things that are a way to travel your path in your own way.

    About the video: I like both the ones that are shorter or longer and I think the key to your success would be to wisely mix both kind of videos and not concentrate just in one style.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Absolutely, I think that we all have things that work for us and things that don’t. Love is not standardized and we definitely get to travel our own path and find our own path through it. But I don’t believe we go through life without relations with others, whatever capacity they may be, and in that lies the opportunity to grow and learn about ourselves, our values and what we look for most in those we want to keep close to us.
      Thanks so much for your comment Rumors! Always love reading them : )

      Matt x

      • Rumors says:

        Well, Im not saying I travel my path with out relating to someone. I love to socialize and love having friends. I´m just saying that kind of socialization is not for everyone. I love to learn from people and I do think in a relationship you learn a lot but I think, too that for love there is something deeper going on and you are made for it or not.

        Always love your post in your blog too, Matt :)

  313. Natasa says:

    I like your uncut videos. And frankly, I can use all the examples you listed. It makes your information less abstract.

  314. Taryn says:

    Love the new video. Matthew – you have helped me so much and continue to. Definitely like the new format.

  315. Annabelle says:

    I like the longer videos! keep em coming!!

  316. Mark says:

    To be honest, I didn’t really consciously notice a change of format, I just like your inspiring content, which always makes me feel better about life. Thanks Matt. (I’d probably prefer to keep this message private and un-posted for public view but felt compelled to say thank you)

  317. Sophie says:

    Hey Mathew. I think this video has helped me a lot. I did the gtg course a whole back in May & although in doing great-loads more interactions, numbers & great experiences. I haven’t met anyone as yet. So sometimes I think ‘oh what’s wrong with me’. I am infact also going travelling solo end of the month to Greece. At first I was really scared (I couldn’t find anyone to go with but needed a break). Now I’m focussing on all the fun experiences I plan to have & with my new skills I’m sure I’ll embrace it in a way I never would have before.

    Re video. I liked the longer uncut video for this one because I feel it suited the more somber tone of the video & was more sensitive. I think the cut one suits the more fun/silly ones. I mean all this in a good way!!

    Thanks so much Mathew! X

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Sophie, so happy to hear about your progress! Like anything else, practice and persistence pays off. I’m so excited to hear about how it plays out on your trip! You’ll have to keep us posted! Thanks for your comment and feedback lovely, take care. : )

      Matt x

  318. Kooky says:

    thank you hero for this video.
    we done with love coz we didn’t understand what does love mean .we think love starts when someone loves us (in the past i was thinking like this).but now i realize …..no i believe that love starts when i forgive myself and try to change …..no try to make myself better (coz everyone’s inside is good ) by understanding myself and understanding life (which is amazing).then I will fall in love with myself .when that happen life is going to be great and everything will change to be great too. if I found an amazing man but he let me down i won’t say i’m done with love (coz again love starts when i fall in love with myself) but what i will do is this …
    1 -forgive him
    2- learn from the experience
    3- telling myself that the best will come and work on it
    4- be Kooky coz life is crazy and full of lots of things (so we have to discover )
    but if anyone still hurt i want to tell you this ( the universe is made for you ,to discover yourself , to love yourself before you love anyone , to make your dreams come true and to stay positive ).what i’m trying to say is the universe is made for you coz who made it LOVES YOU.

    by the way What l wrote the last time was vnglish not English ,I couldn’t stop laughing . I forgot to write things :D. although that you replied (that showed me how genius you are coz you understood what i was trying to say ) .So forgive me my English is bad ,but my vnglish is great.

    the video is too short :D :D , longer better :D :D :D :D , and i don’t care about the style of the video (so be creative and we will be amazed )

    THANK YOU HERO

  319. lesleybee says:

    Lovin’ the un-cut version of your blogs, Matthew, its more natural and even though you portray sincerity in all your video’s to help us, I think old school emminates more of your sincerity. It screams with compassion and care towards helping us and giving us more confidence to “Get the Guy, so thank you x

  320. DD says:

    Great video Matt – I enjoyed the longer length. It made your advice appear sincere and truly from the heart. Recently I have given up on love due to a number of disappointments after giving relationships my “all” only to be strung along for months/years and then broken up with (the latest being dumped on a romantic vacation to Paris), and I really need to heed your advice. This video couldn’t have come out at a better time.

    Thanks for your encouraging and positive words Matt.
    ~DD

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      DD, I’m sorry to hear about your recent hardships, but am glad you’re willing to hear the advice and realize this is an amazing opportunity to grow and learn : ) Keep up the amazing work and spirit!

      x

  321. Denise says:

    Really enjoyed the long video as its content was very interesting and flowing… Thank you!

  322. Katie says:

    I love this video! Honestly, this is something I (and my single, male roommate) have struggled with a lot, and keeping things in perspective like this really helps.

  323. Diana says:

    Dear Matthew
    That one was a life saver
    Thank u
    And I liked the way u cut it no need to edit …message was loud n clear and a message I need to hear

  324. Angela says:

    Love the longer video! Like to see more of them! You are the best!

  325. Orit Reuben says:

    Matthew,

    Thank you for your book and inspirational videos. Your material has given me a new perspective on myself and dating. I haven’t succeeded in finding “that relationship” yet, but you’ve inspired me to go out and try. I loved this latest video, which is about not making a “big deal” out of anything, but just going with the flow. Even though I am a beautiful successful 46 year old woman who looks 33, I still have a hard time with this notion. I am very confidant and nonchalant on the first date, but as soon as I realize that I like a guy, my demeanor changes and I can’t seem to control it. When I realize I like a guy I start caring too much about the outcome and probably project this subconsciously with my behavior. I’m sure that this is something that makes guys run for the hills even though my behavior isn’t overt.
    I don’t meet many guys I like because I am very picky. Any advice?
    How do I make myself change my behavior and stay in control despite myself.
    As soon as I like someone I feel some major shift in my thinking takes over me even when I’m not with the person and it’s soooo much bigger than me I feel it’s out of my control… lol. Maybe there is a special drug out there to stop it.
    By the way. I loved the uncut video. Natural is genuine and good.
    Thank you, Orit

    • Sophie says:

      Orit, I think you should do the women’s weekend. Not only do you get feedback on these kind of questions, you get a group of women, peers to go out with & practice. You meet so many more men which gives you choice. This is so important to stopping that overwhelming feeling coming over you. It reminds you if this isn’t the one it may be that other chap you met or the one you’ll meet tomorrow. I do a similar thing. When I realise I really like a guy I go shy & not myself & I think they can tell that I want it all & it scares them off. Using this technique of giving yourself choice makes you come across as a prize worth attaining, high value, they have to make the effort. Hope that helps xx

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Orit, glad you enjoyed the video! It’s funny how that happens when we like someone! All of the sudden we begin acting differently without realizing right away. The key is to stay aware of this, which I can see you are, and remember to stay aware of our surroundings and the other person. Ultimately we start to live too much in our own head and thoughts and this gets projected outwards. As for meeting men you like, try going to places you don’t frequent to find almost a new batch of men and also make sure that you remain open to new people, i.e. don’t have a preconceived notion that you’re probably not going to like them as this can also get projected outwards.

      x

  326. Monica says:

    As always your videos are so pertinent to the way I was feeling. Thank you!

    I was at the stage where I felt giving up on love too, but your words are so inspirational and gave me a fresh outlook on myself and what I need in my life.

    I love the longer videos and always look forward to seeing more.

    Lol

    Monika

  327. Petra says:

    Hey Matt,

    I agree with all you said, liked the parallel with the business you mentioned. I’ve been developing relationship with that one guy over past few months, it is more like flirtationship :) and previously I would get hurt in such relationships. But now I just decided I’m gonna do things differently, because I can. and my main aim is to have fun! As long as I’m having fun, it is fine, once I start to feel like things are complicated and not fun, I stop it and that is it.
    Also, I tried this new thing for me – dating web site and I just decided to be open and meet new guys in person (which I would previously hesitate, because they are strangers). so I do stuff differently and just had a nice meet up with one guy today. it was fun :)

    and yeah I’ve been with you since 3 years ago and liked these old school videos better, I hate this cutting stuff you recently started to do. it kills the natural flow ;)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Petra, I absolutely loved reading this comment! So proud of you : )
      Thanks for the comment, support and feedback. Means the world.

      x

  328. Jaded says:

    Hi Matt,
    This post could not have been more timely. I had once again been feeling hopeful that I’d finally met someone right for me on an online dating site and that it might turn into a relationship. And once again, despite everything going well and no indication from him that he wasn’t feeling it, he’s vanished without a trace after 5 dates…..
    This has happened more times than I care to remember and each time I wait for the disappointment to subside and try again. But today I have just been feeling like giving up and that I can’t put myself through it any more and that I’m clearly doing something wrong.

    I know you say online shouldn’t be the only way to meet guys but when you’re 40 something it’s harder to meet guys of the same age in the ‘real world’.

    Your longer post was definitely valuable and full of wisdom and was a chance to go deeper with the issue at hand – it’s also made me realise that I do put too much pressure on these dates because I want them to turn into something long lasting.
    Any tips on how I can turn off the part of me that wants a happy ending when I go on a date?!
    X
    Thanks for all your great advice and please don’t go too ‘American’ with your vocabulary – you still have many followers in the UK!!

  329. Leila says:

    Was very down before watching your video.I feel amazing after that. You are great, you made my Sunday! By the way I never give up on love. Yes sometime when things did not work out,I was the one who did it wrong!

    You look good anyway! I like all your videos, variety is always good. So yes make them the way that you think it is the best. We are all hear to listen to you.

    Have a great Sunday,
    Cheers,
    Leila

  330. Teresa Fritschi says:

    Yes, your ramble – in one 10 minute flow was PERFECTLY YOU.

  331. Steffy says:

    Maybe I’m in the minority, but as long as someone has something compelling to say, I will stay with them. Five minutes is all well and fine but everything can’t be stuffed into that time period and have maximum value. So for me, whatever length is good, your videos are enlightening and so inspirational, Matt. Looking forward to meeting you at an event soon.

  332. charlene says:

    you do talk a lot of sense lol :) good video x i got something out of the strive for moments :D x

  333. Maggie says:

    I actually like the old school format, I think sometimes people try too hard with internet production, so keep it up with just delivering great content.

  334. Toi says:

    Yeah I cried. Lol that was sweet and so helpful, especially as a woman that’s been there on the giving it your all and being the person you want to be only to get the short end of the stick. There’s a reason you’re supposed to guard what/who you allow in your life via your standards. Anywho, I liked the way the video was shot. It was reminiscent of seeing you live in a serious moment because you feel the sincerity. That doesn’t mean I don’t like the way the other videos are shot because those have been the ones I shared the most (they’re funny as hell and make the info palateable). A good mix of both depending on the topic should suit you just fine. Thanks for giving me something to share with my best friend this morning! Take care of that eye, Matt =)

  335. Heather says:

    Love the longer video. It’s not the size if the video, it’s what you accomplish with it- or so they say.

  336. Barbara says:

    Hello!
    I haven’t given up on love (yet :P). If I ever do I’ll definitely come back to this video, because the advice you’ve given is really amazing. :) There was one time, when I was about to give up, but deep down inside I always have this hope, that things will work out and because of it fall in love over and over again.
    The length of the video was just great, because you could clearly communicate the message and as long as you do that it’s completely okay. :D
    Hope you have a nice day!
    Love,
    Barbara
    xo

  337. amana says:

    i didn’t notice the cut..until you pointed it out

  338. Stefanie says:

    I enjoyed the length of the video. You had a lot to elaborate on so it was appropriate. No cutting means the flow of your speech was easier to listen to.

    I also find your short videos very effective though. You get your point across quickly, so I guess it all depends on the content.

  339. gruvee says:

    Good, timely &helpful, inspiring and deep – as usual.
    Yah the length or style of the video – I had found myself unusually drifting off…so I think I prefer the other style of video.

  340. Danielle Palmas says:

    Great reminder, thanks for that Mat! x

  341. Thirza says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Thanks for posting this. But first i wanna say how my first two days of internship was. Day 1: i was so nervus the first day i stand litterly 4 minutes before the door before i Walked in than i Walked in And i say Hi my name is Thirza and this my internship” haha ;) than the other Guys on there the tell me what i could do.
    My first day was very good. Enz. Than day 2: one Guy say to me never mind she doesn’t understand it. He did like i was dumb and not knowing anything About it. Because in smart enough to understand what they were saying. But everywhere i Go i gotta prove myself That i know more than i say. Okay i’m not saying anything but sometimes i think never mind it’s not important. Because i’m not a talker does t mean i’m not knowing anything right? I’m not stupid.

    But know over your blog.
    I can understand That people give up on love. Okay i’m a 15 year old girl i’m not having any exeprience in love enz. But this is my upinion. I can understand That because Guys are sometimes confusing. Because i like a Guy in the bakkery And than i search on Facebook and was already married and had Childeren. Why are always good loving Guys married?? But i have time enough but sometimes you can plan Things in life right.

    That was all what i wanted to say.
    Have a Nice lovely day Matthew and i wish you the best in life.

    Lovely Greetz Thirza

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Lovely lovely Thirza : )

      Happy to hear you got through your nerves on the first day and walked through those doors! As for the people you’re working with, in life we are constantly put into situation where we’re going to have to prove ourselves, and simply because you don’t talk much of course does not mean your stupid! Actions speak louder than words right ; ) But don’t be shy to speak up as well!
      Thanks for stopping by lovely! Keep up the great work!

      x

  342. Kristi Moore says:

    Another great video!! You always have such great advice! I just wanted to THANK YOU for helping me grow and I’m still growing everyday (personal growth not height). I’m no longer afraid to let someone in to my little crazy world! Have a great day!

  343. Tracey F says:

    Great video Matthew. This is my favourite. I travel alone all the time, both personally and for work. I also was “done with love”. I feel like you made this just for me – and yes, the format was great (but all of them are great!), it was conversational. Although, I kind of miss that cute little dog at the end! :-) Best wishes to you in America! x

  344. Ri Ri says:

    Length was fine. Love when you just look natural -cut on brow, five o’clock shadow and all. It’s like just a regular old conversation. Good advice. Working on lowering those big walls around my heart. One other thing — duck and swerve next time. Lol

  345. A. says:

    Great video. One I needed to hear at this time. I know in general, I undervalue the small moments. They are great and all, but I have had loads of great moments with people and very few of the big ones. So while I believe the small moments are great, I do wonder sometimes, do I just learn to content myself with those if the big moments aren’t forthcoming?

    It’s harder to be patient when years have gone by. I don’t give up, no. But you can’t help but wonder sometimes.

    I do want to say your book and really getting a life has been an interesting turn for me. Really changed things for me in the past months. I’m not quite sure how I feel about it all, honestly. I do think there is a part of me waiting for some payoff at the end, even though I enjoy myself in the moment. I do wait for the other shoe to drop when I get home. Not just about dates, but going out and doing stuff. I’m a curious person and I’m wondering how this will all turn out for me.

    Update: I did take a grant writing class last week. Didn’t want to go. Don’t like dealing with money. Was feeling ill. Thought it would be boring. It actually wasn’t bad at all and not as hard or intimidating as I thought. I didn’t get catch a cold afterward as I had worried about. I’m glad I went. Not sure if I want to write grants but at least the instructor is out there to take a look if I want to give it a shot. It was a nice moment even if it doesn’t go anywhere else. :-)

    I liked the long ten-minute cut. It seemed genuine and you were in the moment. I sometimes wonder what you guys cut out, but I’m sure there will be a blooper reel someday!

    #teamjamieson

    Maybe someday have tips on being patient? Telling myself, “Just be patient” doesn’t always work. Even filling my life with lots of interesting things I like to do or interesting people doesn’t always work. Or tips on the difference between learning from your experiences and letting those experiences having a negative effect on future actions. It’s tricky to know the difference sometimes.

    Thanks for the video!

    Prefer to be called “A”

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey A,

      I’m proud of you for getting out there, experiencing new things and being open! Such a huge part of the battle. Patience definitely is a good topic too, I’m going to keep that in mind. Thanks for the comment lovely!

      x

  346. pinar says:

    video time is cool, longer better ;)

  347. Wave says:

    This video couldn’t have come in a better time than now!

    Approx. 2 weeks ago, i met my oldest friend in person (in Èire) and i love this guy (he knows it) so naturally you start to think what will happen after this meeting?

    I had a segment from your book in my phone about “Intent.” When i read it i became so much less nervous and thought I’m going to meet this guy and be the awesome piece of cake i am. (We went to the National Wax Museum followed by a well earned dinner) Everything was great! Relaxed, cool and pictures taken. Our friendship felt more real.

    Now we’ve been talking back and forth since i came back home. What i can’t wrap my head around is why i’m being stood up by him when we fix a skype-time. Every time from the middle to now of our friendship. Any suggestions on how to approach this?

    As for your question: I liked this video as a is was, some are great with cuts and some aren’t.

    Have a lovely Sunday Matt!

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