A woman walks in the room.
The man at the bar notices that she looks just like his type. His head turns. He keeps stealing looks at every opportunity when he thinks she won’t notice.
What he’s feeling now is visual chemistry.
Right now he has the potential to be deeply attracted to this new woman…but it doesn’t mean he will be.
Why? Because DEEP attraction requires a few extra things.
The Woman That Knows How To Attract Men For More Than One Night…
There’s an often repeated myth that men are solely visual creatures. People love to tell us that men are only motivated by looks and that the secret of how to attract men is little more than skin-deep.
But looks only lead to attention. A woman who looks healthy, has great make-up, smooth skin, soft hair, a fit body, will get a lot of men to at least take the chance of speaking with her.
Yet, they don’t mean he’ll be attracted in the long-term.
In fact, there are two crucial traits that are essential for a guy to become truly smitten and want to chase you long after the first meeting.
Those two traits are PERCEIVED VALUE and PERCEIVED CHALLENGE.
1. Perceived Challenge – Attract Him By Showing Standards
What is perceived challenge? That’s the part of a woman that makes her seductive. It’s her ability to be playful and flirt, whilst also showing the guy that he has to invest in her in order to truly win her affections.
It’s the ability to communicate interest, without making him think that he can click his fingers and she’ll immediately come running.
Perceived challenge is what happens when a guy feels like he has to earn his place in your affections. You can still be receptive and fun in this mode, but he also feels like he has to do more than simply flash his cute dimples to win your heart.
But perceived challenge needs to be accompanied by its partner: PERCEIVED VALUE
2. Perceived Value – Attract Him By Showing Your Character
What is perceived value? This is the part of a woman that tells a guy she is someone who is self-fulfilled. It tells him she has a great social life, hobbies or a career she loves, intellectual stimulation. It’s also a woman who understands what men want to hear in a relationship.
Perceived value is what shows a man you are a rare gem.
A woman with value has multiple dimensions. She knows how to be serious and has goals of her own, but she also loves life and can be fun, sexy, adventurous when the mood takes her. It’s this kind of woman that makes a man take notice, slap himself around the face and think “whoa, she’s special!”.
Basically think of it this way: Perceived Challenge is the part that tells him he’s dealing with a woman who won’t fall for him at the drop of a hat and simply hand him her schedule. Perceived Value is the part of you that tells him you have the substance and character to be an incredible long-term partner.
I talk about these two essential components a lot, especially as they relate to the attraction formula that works on any man. They are two cornerstones of attraction for any guy.
If you want to brush up on more ways you can put these tips into practice in your relationships, make sure you check out my other article on how to attract men without risking rejection.
great reflections…I LOVE YOUr thoughts on this ;)
I appreciate the use of multiple modalities to deliver this essential information. Sometimes, I watch the videos – other times I read the articles. Either way, I will be taking good notes!
I wouldn’t say this changed my life but it is a big eye opener. I thought the woman that attracts a man is the one that flirts, talks dirty and is honest about her lifestyle. The woman that gives in to a man.
Since this is a new perspective for me, I would need more practical ways to be this woman. I believe what I have been doing so far hasn’t brought me any change but instead has left me single, choosy and bitchy.
Please help with more thoughts. I feel like I have been on the wrong path of the dating game.
Thanks
Nothing wrong with being single, choosy and bitchy.
Just let your guard down with that one Special person.
Love to you, KF
Trust slowly and you’ll know when you know
Hi,
My name is Solvita. I’m 30 and
I’ve become single 8 months ago.
People say I’m attractive and confident.
I’ve got a problem with guys coming up to me. I know they’re looking and maybe even like me, but wouldn’t talk to me. I guess I look tough :-D
I’ve watched many of your videos and I try to smile more to seem more approachable. I don’t know what it is about me that scares men.
Many years of relationships have made me lose all the flirtation skills, but when I was younger I found that an eye contact and a smile was enough.
My friends say that I was hard to approach but once they did,I turned out to be a very nice person.
So..how do I get men to make the first step?
(I don’t want to be a masculine one and do it myself)
I may not have very much experience in dating but I do know that sometimes you just have to wait for the right guy to come along and you don’t want to seem really desperate or elts you may not get the guy you are looking for. I personally believe that God will send me the right guy when its time but in the mean time I’m gonna try to meet new guys and go out with them. I really do hope you find the guy that your looking for and don’t change who you are just so people like you better. Not very many people like me but I’m not gonna change because they don’t like me. I’d rather wait for a guy that likes me for who I am and doesn’t want me to change. So I encourage you not let people judge you and make you wanna change so that you canbe more popular than you are right now. I believe in you. Have a blessed day and good luck.
Shame the Link to the txts does not work – and OMG Matt – You and I need to talk BBW Dating !!
Great advice.
But it will only work when you’re young, say in your 20 or early 30. when you’re 40 something, men don’t care about your value, etc. they will only need to ask your age and run away (or just use you to warm his bed….)
Attraction is often not just a question of beauty but there is much more to this process. In my opinion then there is to say that things arrive at the right time.
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