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“Matthew is a genius whose magic needs to be shared with the world.” - Eva Longoria

How to Become Invincible

Continuing with the theme of taking lessons from movies, here’s something that really struck a chord with me from Ironman 3

If you are confident at your core, nothing else matters.

So many of us rely on external trappings to feel confident. For some of us it’s our car or our house, for others it’s our job.

The danger in deriving confidence from these things however is that it could all be taken away from us tomorrow.

We need to find a way of gaining confidence that isn’t dependent on things around us.

We are the greatest asset we’ll ever have.

We are the thing that we should feel confident about on a core level.

The line that summed this up for me in the film was this:

“My suit wasn’t a hobby, it wasn’t a distraction, it was a cocoon. You could take away my tricks, you could take away my toys, you could take away my house, but there’s one thing you can’t take away… I AM Ironman.”

In life, never take at face value how confident people seem.

Most people who seem confident are really just basing their worth on things that could be taken away.

How many people do you know who could stand strong in the knowledge that they are their greatest asset?

I told you in a recent video the story of having to face up to this myself with the show – something I’d worked on for over year – being taken off the air.

I had to step up and say to myself, you can take away the show, you can take away everything that came with it… but so long as I have my voice and I can do my thing, I’m the asset.

It doesn’t matter what gets taken away. The thing that gives you real confidence is who you are at your core.

Don’t base your confidence on what you’re achieving. Build your confidence in such a way that if you were to lose everything, you could still feel amazing.

*If you want to learn how to do this, I have a program that could be for you.*

This has been one of the big, passionate subjects of my career. It’s something that I consider to be more important than anything else, and something that I’ve built an entire program around the concept of.

If you want to learn how to develop real core confidence and how to become invincible wherever you are in life, then this might be for you.

The program is the High Value Retreat and I have two booked for the rest of the year and that’s it.

The first is in Clearwater Florida in September, the second in Palm Springs in December.

You have to apply, and if you’d like to do so or find out more about the process, you can here. There’s a video where I cover all of the event details and a chance to enquire about the application process.

Check it out, and who knows, we could be spending 5 days together later this year…

Question of the day:

If you could have any one superpower, what would it be and why? My pick would be the ability to stop time – it would be an unbelievable amount of fun! Let me know yours in the comments!

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

144 Responses to How to Become Invincible

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  1. Bashayer says:

    Hi, I love your vids :)
    Thu i Get frustrated when you announce some kind of seminar/program ur having all the way in the states or UK for that matter :( when I’m all the way here in Bahrain -_- [country smaller than a dot on the map]
    Ow well main point of this comment is to tell you that u have many fans all over the world even in what are considerably the smallest countries :)
    Thank you for being one of the great motivators out there that simply give people the strength to go on and move forward in life ^_^

  2. Amber says:

    Bloody Excellent Mate!

  3. Saf says:

    If I could have one superpower, it would be the power to persuade. (Is that really a superpower?) I’m working on it by building my communication and observation skills. Persuasive abilities alone can get a person into trouble, so I’d want to balance that with discipline, integrity, and knowledge.

  4. Elisabeth says:

    Matt,

    You are adorable! I love everything that you have to say here about confidence. That it is WHO you are at your core. Not what you have. It’s not found in your achievements. If you can lose it all, and still be invincible, you can be anything you like. You are the Asset.

    Brilliant. That is You, Matt. Take everything away, and you will still be Brilliant.

    Thank you for YOU.

    xo

    • Elisabeth says:

      * I want to make an addition to the above… If you can lose it all, and still be invincible, you can DO and BE anything in life. You are the Asset. External factors are fleeting, but WE in and of ourselves – our intrinsic core, WHO we are – are constant. And that person inside of the epidermic shell, is absolutely AMAZING.

      Thank you for being an incredible Teacher, Matt. I appreciate you, and love your infectious enthusiasm! Thank you for everything that you do!

  5. Audrey says:

    My superpower would be the ability to turn on and off at will knowing what people are thinking. It would be so helpful in relationships and in helping others. I know, it has its pitfalls.

    Choice 2: the ability to see clearly what I need to do to achieve each goal and see it all through.

  6. Li says:

    Hey Matt!

    I cannot help laughing!!! It’s so funny! Honestly, when I stumbled upon your blog and watched your videos for 1 or 2, I wasn’t impressed. But now, I adore your bloody British humor with your wisdom and your passion. You are really fun!! haha

    I wonder if you are single… Perhaps you owe this answer to every single lady here.

    Have fun in US!
    L.

  7. Diana Guzmán says:

    Awesome observation on Iron Man that I hadn´t noticed; so true!

    Thank you so much again for sharing, and warm regards from Mexico,
    Diana

  8. hope says:

    lovely video….the superpower of discrimination. Then one would always know what to when.

  9. A says:

    I love my uncle Matty cakes. Especially when you pulled the picture out of your shirt! Faints! :-D

  10. Ellen says:

    Hi!
    So I firstly want to thank you for such inspiring videos every week! It always cheers me up when I check my emails and there’s a new video from you..

    Secondly I would like to ask for some advice.. Since you’re the expert ;)
    So I’ve just moved away to study and I have of course met a lot of new and very nice people. I just have the problem that they seem to not always understand my “signals” or whatever I send out..

    I have changed quite a lot these last few years, gotten more confident and more outgoing, been travelling for a long time and now I feel like I have control of my life. I’m renewed, so to speak.. Also I’m in a new town, new country even and no one really knows me, so I can be whoever I want and it’s such an amazing thing! And I try to live my life the way I always wanted, and just to be here and have fun.. And therefore I have started to realize that my friends and my new friends here usually always get dates, or are flirted with in bars, clubs or even in the library, and I don’t, even though I’m much more outgoing and fun than I used to be. I’m no longer the wallflower, but still somehow no one is interested..

    I really have the tendency to always only make friends.. (Which is also very nice.. But not always what I want..) I always thought it was because I’m bisexual that I send out mixed signals to guys in particular, but I am really not sure if that’s the real cause.. I mean, I love my male friends, they are so uncomplicated to hang out with. But sometimes I don’t just want to be friends. And I don’t know what to change, because I can really only be myself, and being unable to decide which sex I like more shouldn’t really get in the way of me finding a guy or a girl that likes me for who I am?

    So the question is; Is there a possibility that I might be sending the wrong signals to everyone, so that no one really understands that I’m into them?
    Or might there be something else?

    Thanks for reading my loooong comment/questions :) and I wish you a great weekend!

    x Ellen

  11. Ellen says:

    Hi!
    So I firstly want to thank you for such inspiring videos every week! It always cheers me up when I check my emails and there’s a new video from you..
    Secondly I would like to ask for some advice.. Since you’re the expert ;)

    So I’ve just moved away to study and I have of course met a lot of new and very nice people. I just have the problem that they seem to not always understand my “signals” or whatever I send out..
    I have changed quite a lot these last few years, gotten more confident and more outgoing, been travelling for a long time and now I feel like I have control of my life. I’m renewed, so to speak.. Also I’m in a new town, new country even and no one really knows me, so I can be whoever I want and it’s such an amazing thing! And I try to live my life the way I always wanted, and just to be here and have fun.. And therefore I have started to realize that my friends and my new friends here usually always get dates, or are flirted with in bars, clubs or even in the library, and I don’t, even though I’m much more outgoing and fun than I used to be. I’m no longer the wallflower, but still somehow no one is interested..

    I really have the tendency to always only make friends.. (Which is also very nice.. But not always what I want..) I always thought it was because I’m bisexual that I send out mixed signals to guys in particular, but I am really not sure if that’s the real cause.. I mean, I love my male friends, they are so uncomplicated to hang out with. But sometimes I don’t just want to be friends. And I don’t know what to change, because I can really only be myself, and being unable to decide which sex I like more shouldn’t really get in the way of me finding a guy or a girl that likes me for who I am?

    So the question is; Is there a possibility that I might be sending the wrong signals to everyone, so that no one really understands that I

  12. Upasana says:

    Hey Matt.
    You are a wonderful teacher and whatever you write or say truly touches one’s heart. I am a junior writer and poet myself and I am able to sense the purity, beauty, truthfulness, wisdom, passion and excellence in your thoughts. Truly, I LOVE&LOVE&LOVE every word you say and you are basically my ultimate role model.

    Even this post of yours is amazing. But, it makes me wonder a’lot of things. For example,your statement,”Don’t base your confidence on what you’re achieving.”

    Yes, I do agree with the fact that we should be confident to the core and what makes us who we are is only our innermost personality and not the things around us.

    But,I believe, confidence is NOT actually an IN-BUILT trait of our personality which just dawns upon a human being when he/she is born. It is an ACQUIRED trait. When we are very young, we have absolutely no personality traits at all. In fact, we don’t even have a personality! Our personality is formed as we grow up…from the things that we see, learn, observe and decide. So, in a way, all our actions and our life-incidents are responsible for making our personality…for making us who we are at the present moment…and confidence is an element of personality which follows.
    It is natural for a human being to have a great sense of accomplishment when he/she achieves something in life or feel like a total failure when he/she is not able to do so.
    It is the little achievements that happen everyday that helps us to form our personality and make us believe in it.

    To summarize my point:
    Even if we do acquire a great personality, we must learn to enforce it. And to enforce it, we must learn to be confident. And to be confident, we must learn to believe in ourselves. And to believe in ourselves, we must impress/convince ourselves. And to convince ourselves in the long run, we must have proof. And to have a proof, we must be able to achieve.

    For a moment, lets not consider the consequences of losing what you’ve achieved. But what if someone hasn’t achieved anything in their life, yet they (them, and only them) know that they DO have a personality with a possibly great potential; but they can’t find any immediate solution to that problem…Can they still be confident? If so, based on what? What should they believe in?

    I would be highly grateful if you reply. Loads and loads of love. xx

    P.S If I had a superpower, it would be to make everybody and anybody happy and to spread smiles which go from the heart to the soul. <3

    Thank you so much.

  13. joy says:

    my super power would be to be a solution to peoples problem no matter how complex d situation may be

  14. Janice says:

    Booked the retreat for Dec, excited !! x

  15. Katie says:

    Hey matt!!

    I completely agree with this video. I dont normally comment but really feel strongly about this topic. In my life I’ve had a lot of tragedy and heartache. When I was 4 until I was 10 I got sexually abused by my cousin and my aunties, uncles and grandparents walked in and said it was my fault and beat me up (my parents didn’t know). My dad was extremely abusive too as soon as he came home i would be absulutely terrified because domestic violence was considered normal. But i admire my dad because he turned his life around and changed because he realised the damage he was doing when i was about 10 or 11 he stopped beating me and yelling for no reason. I also got bullied so there was no safe place for me to go growing up. Finally when i was 14 i told someone about all the abuse and started the healing process. It took me 2 years to forgive everyone who hurt me and it was in those 2 years where what you were talking about i had everything stripped away from you and taken. I lost friends when i told them it was the hardest thing iv ever had to do to deal with it. Its made me such a stronger person now though because right now im going through some extremely hard stuff but its okay because i know that i WILL get through it. I am invincible. When i was 16 i went out with a 21 year old who left a cult. I just got my trust back for men. He used mind control and brainwashing against me took away ALL of my friend made me do things i didnt want to do and even hit me but i was so in love doing everything i could to make it work but looking back it never was going to. I found out he had a drug problem and so i said its me or the drugs and he chose the drugs. Now im almost 20 and I only told someone 2 months ago about the truth about this relationship, how bad it really was. So I’m in the middle of the healing process it hard iv only just started making friends so dont have many right now pretty much everything has been taken away but i know who i am. So matt thank you for beaing realistic for telling people that!! Iv learnt my way of dealing with stuff is writing poems and here is a line from a poem i wrote recently pretty much sums up everything iv just said.

    You may see me stumble you may see me fall, but its never too late for me because unlike poor humpty i’ve already started breaking down that wall.

    • Anne says:

      I admire you, Katie. As Matt says, once you really learn to love & value yourself, & become your own best friend, you’ll be able to attract a loving partner who values you because he knows you won’t stick around unless he’s living up to your standards.
      Best of luck to you.

  16. G says:

    Hi Matt,
    I’ve completely enjoyed reading all the blog posts and i’m absolutely intrigued with them. So many behavior patterns are like looking into the mirror. However, I do need to pick your brain on something more orthodox for a minute.
    My folks introduced me to this guy and so far we’ve been having long phone conversations and a couple of video chats within the last 2 weeks. It’s moving pretty fast and I do seem to like a certain things that he has to offer. He’s coming to town this weekend. I am nervous, excited and beyond happy. I want to show him the best time without being taken for granted.
    My question to you is, how do I make sure he has a good time and yet he wants to keep coming back for more.

    I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

    Much Love
    ~G

  17. Marion says:

    Wow!! I’ve just found a way to watch Ready for love and…wow!!! That is so awesome!!!

    Like even though there’re only few episodes it was totaly worthing it to do it. The cinematography, the concept of the teams, the girls which all seem so cool. Im’ so excited about it! haha.

    And I can’t believe the French accent is so well perceived!!!! I’m French and every weeks my horrible little English teacher is saying to me: “You’re accent is crap! Go back to work!” hum stupid

    Well anyway haha thanks a lot Matthew :) Have a nice evening

  18. Carolyn says:

    I’m the Christian woman from Chicago that asked you the question about sex. Lol You are probably the worst thing that happened to me. I’ve watched your videos, read your book, and went to your live event in Chicago. I’ve truly listened to what you’ve had to say and I’ve taken your advice and insight to heart. Now I have more men knocking on my door than I don’t know what to do with. I feel like someone dumped me on the Bachlorette show, and I’m not happy about it. I was planning on serving as a missionary for my church in the next 6 months and now I don’t know if I’ll make it because the two people that want to date me seriously are people I could honestly see myself being very happy with.
    I’m horrible with making decisions and I’ve never been in a situation quite like this before. Thanks for helping me have options in my life. I hope I can just find it within myself to actually choose and follow through with whatever it is that I do.

    • Faith Mosio says:

      Hey Carolyn,

      I remember you from Chicago. If you mind some advice from me I’d say do your missionary work because that is a big part of your life. Remember what Matt said you give as much as you get. Serving God is a big part of your life so if these guys are potentially great for you then they can wait for 6 months. I hope you put your life goals first on this one. Remember Matt said you want someone who adores you—if these guys are the best ever they would be saying Carolyn go do your thing and or I’ll come with!! Hope it turned out to be a blessing for you whatever your decision! Faith

  19. Noelle says:

    Hi Matt
    I’m 19 years old and I bought your book yesterday evening! Although it was really hard to find (I live in Switzerland) but after searching and travelling through the the whole city, I found it in an english book store! ;) and travelling was totally worth it. I read the whole book in not even one day and I went through all of it (the videos including)! Not only what you wrote but also how you did was truely just you. The same way you are talking to us through your videos and I fell in love with it immediately! I think you put a lot effort in that book and I felt it with every written line. That work you created is absolutely fascinating, honest and amazing and I’m so thankful you did that for all of us out here! I just wanted to put my appreciation for you out there! I’m definetely more a creater than a waiter now!!
    Also, I think you look so sexy on that book cover! ;))

  20. Gigi says:

    I just want to say thank you matthew!
    I was at your seminar last month and i took on board your advice about making the first move…
    I joined ok cupid in march, my first time trying online dating and i asked a guy who showed interest in my out on a romantic walk at the southbank followed by a classical concert in trafalgar square.
    over a week later and he has used the L word which might seem a bit quick to people and even cynical old me loll, but i’ve never felt this way about anyone, it feels like i’ve known him for years and he keeps talking about a future with me.
    All i can say again is thank you! and wish me luck matthew xx

  21. Aoife says:

    Hi Matthew,
    Always a pleasure to follow your blog. Thank you so much for the advice. I love your energy and positivity. It always encourages me to keep getting out there and trying my best.I’m currently reading the book and loving every bit of it :-)
    Following your advice, I am putting myself out there more with men but I keep running into the same issue. For example, I find a man attractive, I strike up conversation. It can be going great, we’ll have a lot in common and we’ll be laughing away. It’s then that I can’t help but notice that something is missing. I can never quite put my finger on it. I’m talking to a man I’m attracted to, we get along great, everything points to a positive outcome but I know, just know, he’s not not the one for me. I’ll begin to loose interest and mightn’t even end up giving him a chance. I wonder if you think I should give him a chance regardless or look for someone else as I have been doing. Perhaps it’s an emptiness in me I’m looking to have filled, I don’t know. Sorry for the rant.
    With all that in mind I’d love to be clairvoyant, that way I could just see how things pan out and not worry :-)
    Great to see you back in comfy surroundings, take care :-)

  22. Emily says:

    Hi Matt,

    I’m just curious, so I have to ask. Is that your bedroom? And if so, how can you life with such a huge mirror right over your bed? I don’t think I could get used it, but anyway.
    What I actually wanted to say is a massive thank you for what you’re doing! Of course, you’re also having a profit of it, but how many people you’re helping with your stuff is just incredible. Thank you so much for that! :)
    I hope I’ll also be able to follow your advices someday…
    Anyway, the video is great just like the others.

    Good night x

    • Angela says:

      True, I noticed the mirror over the bed too! Matt love, it’s definitely bad feng shui. I know you think that’s rubbish, but if that is your room, not a hotel room, you will benefit lots by removing that huge mirror over your bed.
      You can thank me later.

  23. Michelle says:

    Hey Matt!
    My wish of a superpower would be to lower the power of money of today, coz some people don’t have it all, and some people have to put their dreams on hold. I’ts never ever impossible to reach your dreams anyway, but it would help allot I think :)

  24. Susanne Love says:

    ♥&♥ OFCOURSE OFCOURSE OFCOURSE
    that it is possible for everybody to learn all the best from YOU Matthew Hussey :)

  25. Susanne Love says:

    I Loooooooooooooooooove the ability to stop time too :
    To live forever :):):):):):):):):):)

    Abilities for everybody :

    That everybody can bring food to all the starving masses, bandages for the wounded + wonderful blankets for the cold

    ♥&♥
    that everybody is able to provide beautiful homes for the homeless

    ♥&♥ Love for the broken-hearted
    ♥&♥ Love for animals & plants :)

  26. Susanne Love says:

    ☀☆♥♥☺♥♥☆☀ Dear Matthew Hussey ☀☆♥♥☺♥♥☆☀

    WOW WOW Oh WOW YOU are back :)
    I am sooooooooooo happy for all the best that happened to YOU Matthew Hussey :)
    I hope YOU are very happy & enjoyed everything very much :)
    Congratulations to all the best :)

    It’s wonderful YOU have such an amazing passion for confidence :)& that it is possible for everybody to love it too: HERE with YOU :)& after visiting your seminar & learning from YOU I believe everybody can be incredibly confident :)

    I Looooooooooooove the way you Loooooooooove confidence :)
    and talk about confidence :)
    & I LoooooooOOOOOove confidence very very much too :)
    So thank you sooooooooo much for talking about it :)
    It is one of my favourite topics too :)

    I wish YOU all the best comfort & that YOU can relax in the best way :)

    I’m sooooooooo happy YOU are Matthew Hussey & that YOU are so incredibly comfortable-even without the Show :)
    YOU are fantastic :)
    & YOU are so funny :) Hahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaha :)
    YOU make me smile sooooooooooooo much :)
    Thank YOU sooooooooooo much :)
    I hope YOU can smile as much as everybody does after reading your blog, watching your Videos & visiting your Seminar :)

    Love to YOU :)

    Susanne

  27. Vinita Hemachandra says:

    Wow, what lovely message you’ve got in this video!

    Really simple – yet so hard for most of us. I love the paired down feel of it & look forwards to hear more about building your core values / confidence.

    A super power wish would be clairvoyant – being able to read others minds. I could help so many people & animals too :) if knowing their true thoughts.

    Keep up the great work!

    Vinita x

  28. alexia says:

    I would love to FLY!Inspiring video!Thanks!!

  29. Senaida says:

    The ability to multiply myself, because I would be able to be everywhere at one time and never have to let anyone down thatiI care most about! I can be at home with my parents and still be at work, I can be at my nephews graduation while still visiting my parents or at work while out with ny friends, working nights puts a damper on your social life!! :)

  30. Jasmine Che says:

    It is jokes how you’re on your bed, just chilling :P
    I think it’s a really good concept to build up your confidence in that way, but then there’s always still the problem of your appearance that you’d still take into consideration.
    I’ve had an interview for Cambridge in January, and they asked me why did I want to study architecture and why should they pick me of all people. – as the first question, it kinda threw me off. But when someone is critically analysing you in that way.. And you don’t actually really know why you’re better than other people, I just had to say what I thought. – right now, I still don’t know why I was better than the candidates, who are likely to be similarly as smart as me, or more so… But I got in which is great!!! :D also i think that over time, experiences like that aid core confidence.

    As for super power, it’d be to teleport – get away when I can, visit my friends who are scattered globally. :) time stopping as you said, like Bernard’s watch would be hilarious :)

    Xx

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Clearly you exude core confidence Jasmine! That’s great news, congratulations! Teleporting would be a fantastic power as well, would make touring much easier ; )

      x

  31. Mona says:

    I want the superpower of travelling fast. I am from India and live in the United States; alone :(. Being on the other side of the world, I miss my parents and siblings a lot and often wish i could just go home for a weekend (it will take at least 36 hours for me to get from my apartment in US to “HOME”).

    I am glad you are coming to Clearwater. I always wanted to see you live and now is my chance. I live less than an hour away and will definitely be joining you for the program. :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I understand that feeling well Mona, we’ll make you feel right at home in Clearwater though : ) Hope to see you then! Thanks for the comment

      x

  32. Sandra says:

    Loved the end… made me chuckle.
    I had been wanting to ask out a client of mine for like a year. I was very afraid to cross the client/customer relationship. Everybody kept telling me to do it… even his employees. I worked up the courage and well… he turned me down… He said he was flattered, but wasn’t the right timing for him. OUCH! So my ego was quite bruised… But at the end… I am Sandra and I am still me with or without that date. :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Haha glad to have made you chuckle Sandra and that’s the spirit! Proud of you for taking a chance : )

      x

  33. Angela says:

    Hi, Matt!

    I really liked ‘Ready for Love’ but cringed with all the french kissing! Is it true that Eva’s with Ernesto now? IF that’s true, I think it would be a little unethical. Anyway, I’ve thought that you are FANTASTIC before the show, and that is absolutely undiminished after it. I love this whole ‘high value’ concept and really hope I can come to your retreat. I really want to up my ‘game’ and my life from good to phenomenal.

    You are doing such important work – and in such a charming way. Hugs to you from Asia.

    Love,
    Angela

    • Rivka says:

      Eva and Ernesto deny it, so I’ll take their word for it. Though I wouldn’t consider it unethical.

      • Roya says:

        Love can be found anywhere, even between a producer and a candidate on her show. I remember an episode on The Bachelor, a lady contestant was immediately asked to leave when she allegedly had an incident with a producer on the show – something she denied.

      • Anne says:

        Gee, she denied they’re seeing each other so it must be true…Hello!

  34. Kristi says:

    You look refreshed, happy and relaxed. Thank you for all the energy you gave us on your tour and I hope you are taking some time for yourself {and your love life ;)} as well.
    Thanks for being you,
    Cheers.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Kristi, thanks so much for coming out on the tour! It was really an amazing experience thanks to all of you : )

      x

  35. Misha says:

    Matt, if u see this please take the time to reply.
    You say one shouldnt let ones ‘trappings’ define who one is. But I feel the house or car you buy or what you achieve is the product of your own disciple and confidence. They dint just happen to you, they made you chase them down with all you had – confidence, humility, discipline, determination, patience. You feel invincible knowing a stunt like that is totally in the bag for you. Its that feeling and not the physicality of your house or car that readily gives you confidence and pulls you out of a rut when you’re there. Is that a bad thing? What do you think?

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Misha,

      I think it’s great to be proud and appreciative of what you have accomplished in your life, but it is remembering that it’s YOU who has achieved it. That even without all of the ‘trappings’ you are still able to be great, and even if you lose it all, at the end of the day, it was YOU who created and earned greatness in your life once and it’s YOU who can achieve it again : )

      x

  36. Lisa says:

    UM..wait did I miss something? They canceled the NBC show..what the frick? Are they serious…I think you should get your own relationship/talk show like on HLN or NBC day time but TLC would be the best bet. Lame….and sad face :(

    Yes, you are the star of your show anyways…so that is okay. Hope to get your book soon. I’m surprised Steve Harvey hasn’t had you own his program yet or Dr. Drew…

  37. carol says:

    I enjoyed your post tonight. I totally believe in core confidence and strength. I have over the last 20 yrs wondered what it was that got me to the person i have become and that is the reason. I married the guy of my dreams in 1991 at 25, 3 days in to honeymoon he hit me and did not stop. I stayed for 15 yrs but when my son was 7 i suddenly woke up knowing i had core strength and confidence to do this. Since then have been homeless , lost my son but got him back and made great life for us. I have a job as a carer which i love and am go at. Only one thing missing i can’t find the guy but i know in time the core beliefs will bring that to.
    love all you do
    Carol

  38. Carleigh says:

    Hi Matt,

    I was wondering if there’s a minimum age for participating in your retreats or other in person programs. I am 19, so I’m young, however, I have lot of insecurities that in the past year I have been trying to face and overcome. The process is tough but I know that this is something that I need to do now if I want to be happy/content/confident with myself and develop romantic relationships in the future. So to hear back from you would be amazing.

    Thanks so much,
    Carleigh

  39. Princess says:

    Hey Matt, your comments on core confidence strike a chord. I have a friend who was rich, then homeless for 16 years and now is getting his ducks all lined up again. He has an apartment and a new job and has a deep sense of purpose. Now he is someone who really knows WHO he is. He knows that the Creator of the universe is with him in a deep way. He knows that he has coped having every material thing taken away. Moreover, he still has FAITH, despite all the circumstances. When you know Jesus is alive and the Holy Spirit lives in you THEN you are REALLY invincible because GOD IS INVINCIBLE. btw Liked the jingle God’s jingle could be …
    ‘I AM Jesus Christ, I came to serve and not be served!!!’ Philippians 2 v. 6-7!!! Hope that helps someone out there,
    Princess xxx

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Wow, great story. And it’s true, sometimes it isn’t until we have nothing that we really understand who we are and what we stand for. Thanks for sharing!

      x

  40. nabila says:

    i think my super power would be reading poepels mind and being abel to be invisibel, that should be fun :P :D

  41. erica says:

    Hiya Matt;)
    I still cant believe the show got taken off the air. it was a good show. you three coaches did amazing and the rancics were great and the girls were sincere.. the only fault that show had was the terrible editing! that and you guys shouldve gotten waayy more airtime because to be honest,thats what ppl wanna watch-you experts dishing out live advice.!! So no need for u to go back and try to check where you screwed up(im like a veteran at that shit and im pre positive you do the same haha:) because you didn‘t. That critic woman just didnt know what she was talking about-im guessing her love life is in shambles so she doesnt know up from down.idk..either way,it was a very powerful show:*xox

  42. Michelle says:

    Your sooo funny and too cute Matt!! Love your advice! Keep them coming!

  43. Pauline says:

    Matthew, I didn’t care for the shows format. I only wanted to see what you had to say to the women, because you spoke from truth & experience. The other matchmakers seemed to patronize the women. You could easily do a “talk show” type where you would engage the men in the audience with the women on the show or vise-versa.

  44. Teresa says:

    Matt, Your advice has been put to the test and there are some good things happening. More quality men are approaching me to engage in conversation and vice versa. However, I am not getting asked out or asked for my number. I am initiating this but nothing is coming of it. Advice/input?

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Teresa,

      Firstly I want to congratulate! The hardest part is the approach. Now to get the number and the date, you need to get that attraction going, which is built a lot by intrigue. This can be the way you show your confidence, you can tease a little, get a little playful in your banter, essentially get a bit challenging. A reason it doesn’t always amount to a number is that sometimes the conversation can be too predictable or too ‘nice’. This is something I talk about more in the Man Myth which is really a step-by-step guide that will take you from the initial ‘hello’ to getting that amazing date you’re looking for! http://www.themanmyth.com/sign-up/
      Thanks so much for your comment and support Teresa! All the best : )

      x

  45. Anna says:

    Cool! So true! Evetually only the core matters.

  46. Iphigenia says:

    Matthew it is SO great to know you as an existence in this world! I learn so much from you. You mean so much for me. Keep on the great work. And always look on the bright side of life… :) I love you really.

  47. Kaitlin says:

    You should make a program that helps with core cofidence but isn’t as expensive as the retreat. Just sayin :P

  48. Kathryn says:

    Great to have you back Matthew ; ) x

  49. Ledia says:

    Man I wish there were more people like you these days!

  50. Tanya says:

    Hey Matthew, I have the same thinking about life, whatever happens I am still me the Superwoman,but sometimes we have to remind ourselves about it. Thank you for reminding. You boosted my confidence.

  51. Joanne says:

    Just three words. You’re back!! (yes, that is three.)
    Toes have uncurled and are wiggling with laughter. Phew!

  52. samah says:

    Hello matt :)
    Thank you soo much for the great topic ..it helped me alot &changed my idea of being confident .
    I think you already have asuperpower which is changing lifes just by the words you say .
    Mine would be having the ability to change people’s moods ..gonna have soo much fun :)

  53. Alexandra says:

    Hi Matt:

    This video is so amazing, I love it in so many ways. Your message is so powerful that no matter where I go or what kind of adventures I am embarking nowadays you always remind me of what truly matters in this journey. I’ have transformed my life with just a few of your ideas and maybe one day I’ll be going to one of your retreats to continue that transformation.

    Thank you for showing me how to get the guy, for teaching me all about confidence and making me believe in my own potential. Like you beautifully said in your video: we are our best assets.

    Clearly it has taken me a while to figure it out in All those years of therapy and yet your knowledge have help me more than every “professional” analyzing my current state of mind.

    Btw: You can definitely sing better than Ozzy!! YOU ARE IRON MAN!!!!!

    Question: If Last week you were Gatsby, and now you are Iron man….. Which alter will you portray next??? :O

    Always keeping interesting :) What a talented little British boy!!!!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Alexandra, thanks so much for your comment. Glad to hear that it resinated with you! As for the next alter-ego, guess you’ll just have to tune in and see! ; )

      x

  54. NancyH says:

    I’ve been told I’m quite perceptive and have an innate ability to read people. My power to possess would be “x-ray vision.” In its many forms… The power of the eye encompasses true vision.

  55. Marisol says:

    you are so sweet and fun, I love you, thanks for the book, I enjoed every minute, LOVE!

  56. lori says:

    Another great video! Loved your singing at the end :) I have a question..how do can I help my 10 yr old daughter feel more confident? She’s very artistic and often feels like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole with her peers at school. I just want to help her see and KNOW how amazing she is.

  57. Clara says:

    Matt you crack me up! I thought for a second, at the start, you were sitting there in your pants :)
    Love the message, I will think about that this week. Am making progress – last night I spoke to 4 men and that was me starting the conversation with them!

  58. Jennifer Radcliffe says:

    Matt,

    I discovered you on Ready For Love. I have watched every episode and saw you in Seattle for your Get the Guy tour. I now follow you on Twitter. You are truly inspiring.

    Thank you!

    Jennifer

  59. Rowanne says:

    I would love the ability of flight, so I can feel the wind and enjoy the lovely view! I love absorbing all the positive thoughts you have to share here, it always makes my day! (n_n) Thank you so much!!!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I love how positive YOU are! The power of flight for the mere feeling is a fantastic sentiment. Thanks for your comment Rowanne : )

      x

  60. Della says:

    Matthew,
    My superpower would be to make anyone I want fall in love with me. But then I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet you at your Palm Springs Retreat December which I am signed up for !! Yeah!!

    YOU, are definitely an asset! I cannot understand why your show is not airing since only every, yep, every female would watch it . All I can say is they made a BIG mistake. Heads should roll.

    See you and your infectious smile in Palm Springs, December or BUST!! Hahahha…

    Your most appreciative fan,
    Della, Vancouver, Canada.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Haha this comment was great! Really made me smile : ) Thanks Della! See you in Palm Springs!

      x

  61. Julia says:

    Matthew,
    I was at your Philadelphia event. Amazing! As a result, I will be in Florida in October. You are a tremendous professional. No participant in your audience that day would have guessed that you had just received very disappointing news. (BTW I was not familiar with the show. I came to know about your message through your YouTube videos. Thank you for your positive work!)

  62. anna says:

    hey matt, temporarily lost my homesick, when I watched the video you are seeing, especially this. I like u so much coz u keep the card with you and love to send you one too ^__^.

    Mathew nothing like you your the best ever.Keep up the good work you made ​​us so much happy and learn so many things.

    super power!!! wish i can teach some one to love me…

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      You don’t need a super power to teach someone to love you, I’m sure you’re already loveable! And when you realize it others will too ; )

      x

  63. Margaux Sullivan says:

    I’ve been following you for awhile but this blog really resonated with me. I lost everything I ever had overnight, my husband, my friends, my belief system, my family. I ended up homesless, friendless, jobless and alone after dedicating my life to a cause I just could no longer believe in. So there was nothing left for me to feel any kind of confidence in…except myself.

  64. Claudia says:

    Hi Matt, my superpower would be to make one wish come true for the people I love…me included! :) x

  65. Margaux Sullivan says:

    I’ve been following you for awhile, but this post actually resonated with me. I grew up in a cult, got married young, dedicated my life to it. I worked part-time for over a decade so I could do 100 hours a month of volunteer work for them. My husband was an elder. A few years ago, I decided I had to leave because I didn’t believe in the cause I was promoting and had been programmed to believe in since I was a baby. My husband left me. Every friend I’d ever had shunned me. My own family won’t speak to me. I ended up homeless, friendless, jobless, alone. So I can relate to the “strip everything away and see who I still am” idea.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Margaux, I really admire your bravery in sharing your story with us. I’m so happy we’ve created an environment where people like yourself can express themselves without fear of being judged and can have a mindset to grow. Being here is the first step in creating your new and exciting future! Thanks for your support, and know that we’re here to help you every step of the way : )

      x

  66. Patricia says:

    Hello from Brazil again!
    I really enjoy watching your videos.. you’re so funny!! :)

    If I could have super powers, I’d pick the ability to go back time and change the past. But just thinking about it I remembered another movie ” The butterfly effect”. The male character played by Ashton Kutcher used to go back and change everything he considered to be wrong, but his actions also changed the course of his future making things worse.

    I think the real message here is: Learn from your mistakes in the past, so you can become a greater person in the future.

    I will end in a Brazilian way:

    Beijos ( kisses) ;)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Wow Brazil! Really making a good showing here! Great superpower, and great film, but yes for those of us who can’t go back in time we must learn and appreciate our previous experiences : )

      x

  67. Jacqueline says:

    Matthew!!! I told you this at your Dallas seminar, but it is worth repeating over and over again: ERES SENSACIONAL!!! Love your material, love your humor, love your personality, your energy, your charisma, your charm, and the list goes on!! I’ve told all my friends about your book and they’re hooked! Keep it coming!!! Also, I am determined to attend one of your retreats. I won’t be able to do it this year because I have a couple marathons lined up during that time, but put me on the list for 2014! I WILL BE THERE! (I’ve taken a pic of this as a reminder;) Grande abrazo y te deseo mucho éxito SIEMPRE!!!

  68. Rivka says:

    This post…the Great Gatsby post…your words somewhere about how some people get addicted to just one part of their personality, but we need to show all the richly varied sides of our personalities…all connected.
    You are dressing in different ways to show US the richness/complexity of your personality.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Rivka,
      I always want people to see all of these different sides of me! I probably showed a little too much dork in this one ; )

      x

  69. Pris says:

    This is really inspiring!
    Thank God I’ve found you, Matt! ^^ Not only did you teach us how to get the guy, most importantly is that you gave us advice on life and how to have the right mindset.

    I love people who are passionate in what they do. Really, love it! Keep it up!

  70. Toi says:

    Superpower? I dunno. I’m greedy lol so it would be similar to Rogue’s superpower, where I can absorb the abilites and life stories of others to make me stronger. Think it would make for some awesome storytelling and songs. =) Happy early birthday btw, Hussey =)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Rogue did have a pretty epic superpower, but don’t forget to go out and make some experiences and life stories yourself ; ) Thanks for the comment and the early birthday wish Toi, so sweet!

      x

  71. Trudy says:

    Hey Matt,
    When are you having a retreat at Atlantic City New Jersey?
    It would be awesome!!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Trudy!

      Not anytime soon, just florida and palm springs for now! If I do more programmes than I already am I might not have a voice by the time I’m 50 lol

      : ) x

  72. Nofyah says:

    Your great stuff keeps me pumped up, especially the videos on confidence. In essence, it is my core confidence I have had to work on. For whatever reason, it was seriously damaged when I was a child. I would love to go to one of your retreats, but it’s not on the possibility list right now. But, I really missed you when you weren’t blogging, so it’s great to see your new stuff. (And great to have another video to watch again when you don’t blog.)

    Have a great week, Matt. :D

    • Nofyah says:

      OH, and for a superpower.the ability to DO OVER. Not even 20 years later, but a minute later.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      This is such a nice post to read! I’m so happy that you’re working on your core confidence and persevering despite your hardships. And whenever you are ready to join us on the retreat I would love to have you! http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/events/
      Thank you for the kind words Nofyah, it’s great to be back!

      x

  73. Erin says:

    When I first saw the title I thought it said “How to Become INVISIBLE”, so I’m going to go with that for my superpower. Or maybe being able to read and retain the information in a book just by looking at it. Super time saver…

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Yeh I’d like the book one, you’d be the most knowledgeable person in the world! Now you have to go read a book today after saying that : ) x

  74. Barbara says:

    So funny at the end. XD
    I don’t think I know anyone who would be confident after taking everything they have away from them. There are so many people who just base their confidence on their appearance. I’m not so confident, but I do base it on my knowledge and some of my other traits, other than my appearance too. I guess I’m on the right track. ;)
    The superpower I would love to have is control over time (stop it, rewind, forward). I’m even writing a story with a heroine who has this power and is based on me. She’s not perfect, but she’s evolving through time. Writing this story also helps me get to know myself and all of the things I’m afraid of, so I can finally face my fears. When I finish the story I might send it to you, because you helped me get through so many things. So thank you, Matthew! :D

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Barbara! The support from people like you helps. It’s so nice to know i can always come back here and make videos that people love and appreciate.

      Basing your confidence on knowledge and other traits is a good start. The next step is basing it on really have a great relationship with yourself! Once you care about yourself, everything follows.

      Thanks for commenting lovely!

      x

      • Barbara says:

        Thanks for answering and calling me lovely! :) I’ll definitely try even harder now to accept myself with all my faults and virtues. I hope I can one day tell you the story of how I found a great guy. Until then! :P xo

  75. Christine says:

    Matthew, you are so uplifting and passionate and fun! You have brought so many ah ha moments to me and I appreciate your hard work and wisdom.
    My question for you is WHY would you like to be able to stop time, and why you think it would be fun and interesting!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Glad I can create those ‘ah ha’ moments for you Christine! To answer your question on the nice & sweet side, I think we just get so jostled in the hustle and bustle of everyday that it would be nice to be able to freeze a moment to enjoy it and really just fall in love with it. On the more fun side though, I’m sure you could get a little cheeky in what you could do when time is stopped ; ) Thanks for your comment!

      x

  76. Christina says:

    My one super power would be illusion-to create a space into an entirely different one like the jungle, the ocean or another place where I’ve traveled (or imagined), kind of like a free standing hologram- because I have an easier time showing people with my drawings instead of words.

    Aww, I love how the young boy comes out of you near the end of this video! ;)

  77. Thirza says:

    Hey Matthew i make this rhyme for you i’m not good at it but i gave it a try it Goes like this: Hey Dear Matthew your a man with alott of words but when it comes to women you say the right Things first. Your loyal and Nice what more can i say? If someone makes a negative comment i’ll be on my way. I’m not the person That your gonna notice. Am not the most beautiful girl in the World my beauty is inside that’s why i make this ryhme. Your a good matchmaker you should make a match for me. I’m living in the Netherlands why me? So Matthew could you make a match for me? I should say please come to the Netherlands what more can i say?not Amsterdam but Landgraaf if That’s okay? Than you should take a look of our beautiful country. Now can i say make a ryhme of my name if That’s okay?

    So what do you say of this Ryhme it came out of my heart. ;)

    Lovely Greetz Thirza from the Netherlands ;)

  78. Rumors says:

    Most people have toxic shame wich relates a lot to the point you were doing.Do you know something about this matter?

    And by the way, I love your cupid vesion of you. Give the person that draw you that one extra book or something like that in reward to be such a good fan.

    And don´t worry about the TV show. When one door closes an other open. Who knows what else may the future have for you…

  79. Agnes says:

    Matt,

    I think is enough and time to stop to talk about the show… Come on, you are great even without it.., if you talk about it all over again, even in a way that it doesn’t bother you, it looks bit pathetic ;) So just forget about it and be youself!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Agnes,

      As much as I love getting up on a Sunday morning and reading the word ‘pathetic’ in reference to something I’ve done or said, I’m sure you realize it was just an example to make today’s point ; )

      x

  80. Simona says:

    I loved this. Thanks for the reminder. It’s funny to see the direction of your videos. They are now more in your bedroom and now the clothes are getting more comfy.
    Are you going to appear in a Ironman onesie next? That is a dare :))))

    • Rumors says:

      I asked him to sing and dance The Girl of Ipanema and he didn´t : (

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Yeah haha my clothes have really gone downhill since Gatsby! I’ll try my best to locate an Ironman onesie! : )

      x

      • Lo says:

        On the contrary! I loved this outfit! Looks so comfy and “friendly”. I’m not that into Gatsby outfit, or suits with bow tie. They look good on you, but I like more your casual look :)

  81. Mona says:

    Love it…..the setting, the humor, I love it all. Matt, you’re that ‘friend’, that I can catch up with on a Sunday morning, while I’m waiting on a load of laundry. Take care!

  82. Yaz says:

    :) Your amazing and your advice always comes at the right time! Keep doing what you do we love you x andddd my susperpower would be having the ability to read minds!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Haha that’s great Yaz! I’m having a bit of a lazy day so you wouldn’t find much in there today. Thanks so much for commenting!

      x

      • Iphigenia says:

        Matthew! I am so glad to know you as a human existence! I’ve learned and keep learning SO many things from you! Great to have you back! Take care <3

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