“Matthew is a genius whose magic needs to be shared with the world.” - Eva Longoria

The Three Alarms In A Guy’s Mind

This is the seventh piece to be published on the Get The Guy blog from my brother Stephen. Steve helped co-write the Get The Guy book and is a wealth of knowledge on dating and relationships.

This week we’re talking the early stages of dating.

You’re about to learn three mistakes to avoid at all costs, and gain the self-awareness you need to make sure you’re not making any of them.

The three ‘alarms’ couldn’t be more accurate (I challenge anyone reading this to find a single guy regularly dating who would disagree!). It’s a really fun read, I know you’re going to love it, and be sure to leave your comments and questions for Steve below.

Enter Stephen

Prologue – An awkward first date conversation…

 

Location: Bedroom. Bookshelf area.

Her: Oh my God. Is this the relationship book you wrote?

Steve: Well, co-wrote.

Her: (Sarcastically) Oh sorry, “co-wrote” then. Can I read it?

I already regret ever mentioning it.

Steve: Um…maybe another time.

But it’s too late. She’s taken position in my office chair and is thumbing through the pages of ‘Get The Guy’, gasping and giggling excitedly at chapter titles when she scans the contents page.

Her: I cannot believe you wrote a book telling women how to get men. This is ridiculously unfair! Have you been judging me this whole date? You’ve so been judging me this whole date. Do you keep a record of what every woman you date says so you can write about in your book?

Steve: The book’s already finished. But anyway, no! Ok, I think it’s time to put the book back on the shelf now!

I try to grab the book from her hands but she hides it under her arm out of reach.

Her: Noooo! I bet you’ve been judging me this whole date.

Steve: Doesn’t everyone judge everyone a bit on a date?

Her: I suppose. But you probably have all these special little tests in your head that women have to pass in a guy’s mind to tell whether she’s worth keeping.

Steve: That’s ridiculous. Of course I don’t.

I make a mental note of the title ‘tests women have to pass in a guy’s mind’, and remind myself to write it down later…

Tests Women Have To Pass In A Guy’s Mind

There are three alarms in every guy’s mind.

If any of these get tripped early on, during either a first-date or that post-first-date-kinda-sorta seeing each other ‘middle period’ it’s guaranteed to make him back away fast.

Set these alarms off at your peril.

1. The Needy Alarm

Her affection is weirdly strong.

It’s only been two dates. She keeps saying how special and one-of-a-kind he is, but he hasn’t done anything to prove that yet. She thinks I’m a great guy already? How could she even know that?

He feels like he’s won a little too easily. And then he gets a horrible sinking feeling – Could any guy have gotten this girl? Does she even care about me at all, or would she have been happy with any semi-decent guy that came along?

He senses that his only achievement might have been being at the right place at the right time. He’s having buyer’s remorse. He doesn’t feel like he has to bring his A-game around this girl. He feels like she would want him no matter what he did.

It’s not that he doesn’t love all the affection and compliments. He just doesn’t feel like he’s earned them yet.

He’s being pushed to make big decisions a little too soon.

His needy alarm tells him he’s being trapped. What if I change my mind about things next week? Is she going to be difficult about it and upset?

Suddenly she’s asking him if he’s serious. It’s fast. It’s only been a couple of weeks. He doesn’t really know, but he’s being pressured to state all his future intentions.

The single life now looks to him like a golden meadow of freedom and happiness.

He can’t wait to get back to it.

2. The Drama Alarm

She got all weird when she talked about her ex. Weird and angry.

There was a flash of pent up rage, just for a second. She got emotional, resentful (maybe tearful) and then quickly suppressed it. There’s some epic saga hiding there.

She seems to be constantly on the edge of blowing up over something. He feels like he’s being judged constantly. He feels like every false move is being tallied up against him.

He said he would be busy the next couple of days with work and she gave him the cold shoulder. He dropped her a text to see how day was going. She just replied: “it’s fine” and wouldn’t return his messages for the next two days.

The silent treatment.

Drama. He’s seen it before. Tiptoeing around explosive topics that set off her anger. Jealousy. Petty fights over non-events. Suspicion. She keeps saying she’s “fiery” and “passionate”, and now he’s questioning if fiery passion is an overrated combination.

He decides to stop the show now before the real drama begins.

3. The Shallow Alarm

She’s cute, but has she got a life or goals or interests that engage her and bring meaning to her world?

Everything she says seems kind of vague and airy. She spends most of her time going to parties, at least that’s what it sounds like, since it’s all she talks about.

She hasn’t got many opinions, and in group conversations she seems kind of lost, sometimes just bored.

At first he thinks it’s because he’s just boring.

But then he realises it might be because she’s shallow. And he doesn’t mean that in a mean way. Hey, relax man, she’s a nice person, don’t be so judgmental. She’s fun and brings a good energy to the party.

But then they go for dinner together and he finds himself scratching around for conversations. Awkward silences prevail. Conversation is about as deep as a teacup. When he talks about something intellectual she looks directly through him, smiles and says “that’s nice”.

And she is nice. But maybe just nice.

He imagines how many more ‘just nice’ dinners they’ll have to endure together.

He realises skipping dessert might be better for his health.

 

Epilogue

 

Her: Are you done?

Steve: Huh?

Her: Or are you still thinking about whether I’ve passed your little tests for the first date?

Steve: Hey, come on. I showed you the book. Now you have to be nice to me.

Her: Ok. How do you rate this date so far then, Mr. Relationship Expert?

Steve: (in despair) Please stop. I beg you. It was going so well up until now.

Her: I’m only teasing (she punches my arm playfully). God, you can be so dramatic.

Steve: (laughing) Ok, we’re DEFINITELY putting the book back on the shelf now.

Her: No way. I’m not even sure we can go out now.

Steve: Aw, come on.

Her: Hmm…maybe one more chance, since i’ve caused you so much pain (we both laugh). But I’m taking the book with me. Sorry, you’re never getting this back.

I stop laughing. 

I suddenly have an idea for another article: ‘Books you will never tell someone you wrote on a first date ever again…’

 

***

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Photo credit: Beth19

The Man Myth

49 Responses to The Three Alarms In A Guy’s Mind

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  1. Eliza says:

    Hi there Stephen.

    I love how your articles are written. Clear, you say what you mean to say.
    But about this one, the second alarm. The Drama Alarm. I get a little confused.
    Of course I understand what you’re saying and I can picture the (type of) person you’re describing very vividly. Bút when we really have loved someone fully and are of course a bit angry and hurt about, for example, the way they treated us or ended things.
    We’re not supposed to be a blank page no matter what has happened in life, are we? Because that would be the Shallow Alarm. (I could have phrased that sentence better but I don’t really know how in English, I’m Dutch.)
    Then it would be like: ‘but you where in a relationship/had things happen to you, how deep does her caring go?’ right?

    I suppose what I’m trying to ask is how do we find a balance between our process and connecting in a good, fun way with the other person when they try to get to know about our past. Or why we are the way we are now.

    To help you understand better I’ll give the example I’m in now. Just to put this in context, not trying to make it about me.
    Have been to art school (I’m 22), which was terribly hard on my heart and mind. But I’ve managed to stay mentally healthy while others where going insane and worse. I just cried a whole lot and decided to stop studying, stayed home for a while to recharge and then got a job.
    So the case: I am more loving and appreciating everything around me than ever and I feel so blessed with all the little things. I haven’t been able to follow the news for about two years because it just tore me up, what people do to each other, to animals, to the planet. All the destruction. I also have lived like a hermit during those years. People being nice strike me, ’cause I just wasn’t having much of those. But I can see through their intentions most of the time now.
    I am ready for all the beauty and reality of this life. I interact with people energetic and playfully and get a lot of attention.
    BUT, when someone wants to get to know me better. I simply don’t know how to manage to react in the right way. I feel allright and warm in general, but of course it stings and I’m angry/hurt.
    The reason I mentioned this is to show you that I’m not an angry person, but I do feel it. But also so much love and caring.
    The circumstances where so intense, that it just makes me feel stripped to my bones sometimes. I look at people with this look of vulnerability straight from the heart when that happens.
    Yet I feel that’s changing and I’m doing everything in my power to make it better and be better + grow.

    Do you know a way to show how loving and caring you as a person are, despite anger and hurt of kind of fresh situations, and how to show this in a simple conversation?

    I hope this was clearly written.

    xx

    Eliza.

    • Eliza says:

      Well, I just assumed the drama part was about everything. Not just someone’s ex.

      Is that actually the case?

  2. Darlene says:

    Steve,
    Great read! Thank you

  3. Ashley says:

    This is such great insight!! I may be the boring one on the date. I am not the best at coming up with topics to discuss and I fear sharing opinions I have because I don’t want to come off opinionated or say something he may disagree with. I need a how to guide for this. How do you overcome shyness? I don’t have social anxiety, I just don’t know what to say on a date.

    • Ariana says:

      Hey Ashley, here are some fun questions a little more random than usual that can bring out different sides of the person you’re dating & maybe some good laughs :)

      -If you could choose to be any superhero or have any superpowers who would you choose & why?
      -Tell me something random about yourself that you wouldn’t tell someone on a first date.
      -If someone gave you a million dollars what would you do with it?
      -What are a couple top things on your bucket list?
      -If you could be anyone for a day who would you be and why?

      These are just a few, but then tell him it’s his turn to ask a question and playfully say he can’t steal any of yours & has to come up with his own. Don’t be afraid to be yourself & always always laugh & enjoy yourself. It’s extremely attractive to show you’re having fun, he’ll feel incredible about making you smile & will end up having a great time as well.

  4. amy says:

    Hi Stephen,

    The first thing I want to say is that this is a great article :) however I have a question. I’m seeing this guys for about two months now and we’ve been already sleeping together ( I know, not smart) last week we’ve been on another date where I asked him about what we were actually been doing. I told him that I started to have feelings for him and he said that he has them too. He also just got out of an relationship and said that he isn’t looking for a serious relationship at the moment but loves hanging out with me. We used to text everyday but since then he isn’t talking to me. Can you tell me how I can fix this because I think that he lost interest in me. I also get attached to people very quickly, is there something to overcome this?

    love Amy

  5. Emily says:

    In regards to point #1, I started telling the guy I’m dating that he’s one-of-a-kind after dating just a couple of months BECAUSE I was reading your book. You and Matt talk about in a later chapter how important it is to always make your guy feel unique. Unfortunately, I think I misapplied something that’s essential later on in a relationship to an early stage when he hadn’t earned it yet and he’s reacted to that. He’s expressed that things are moving too fast and he thinks I’m over-investing in our relationship.
    And he definitely struggles with wondering if he was just in the right place at the right time. Truth be known, he was. I was seeing several guys, like I usually do, and decided this time to cut ties and date just one. I am over 30. I’ve dated a LOT of guys. I’m the woman who doesn’t have trouble getting asked out, but with sticking around/getting a guy to stick around.I decided that most of my friends who are in happy, long-term relationships only dated one person at a time, so I would experiment with that approach.
    The guy I’m with snagged a hiking trip right in the middle of two other dates I had planned. We had gone out once a month before and I’d had a great time. Then he’d disappeared. I know Matt suggests short dates at first, but this second date of ours was 16 hours long, though I didn’t even know it was a date until we were eating dinner. Had such a great time with him, great conversations, great connection that I decided to give him a go and tell the others “ta ta.” And he knows about that. And as you say will probably always be haunted by it. Is there a way to recover?

  6. Susan says:

    I sure wish I knew about this before I started dating trecentreguy

    • Susan says:

      Before I starting dating this recent guy. I surely showed some of #1 and #2. This could have rescued me! At least I know better going forward.

  7. Angela says:

    Hello Stephen!

    With this article I see not only you are a sharp and intelligent mind….you have also cool humour!
    An irresistible combination in men!

    Stephen, I’m asking you directly…. what happened then with your date?:-))
    you started with it! :-)

    I would like to tell you a short story…
    My grandmother always told me ” You can see A LOT in a man, the way he is opening and sharing an orange “.

    I was out in a first date with a guy, he bought for us pizza and a focaccia. He asked me if I wanted to eat from that focaccia, as I never tasted it before, and i said …yes.
    This guy took a piece from that focaccia, iwas sure to give me for tasting as he told, but HE ated that piece.

    Immediately I remembered the words of my grandmother and although not planned from my side, in my mind on that date, he didn’t pass this test….(but also for other reasons).

    Best
    Angela

  8. Kathryn says:

    Hi Stephen,
    It’s funny as reading your blog and books we are always going to wonder, with all your insights, what sort of relationships you have yourself. As if all your knowledge would help create an instant, perfect balance. But of course life is not like that and we are all different personalities interacting with each other.
    I think all of us have been guilty of setting off one or more of these alarms. I hope we do live and learn.
    It does work both ways with the ex subject. Too much referring to them, negative and positive makes a woman think they still have feelings alive and well. Could a reunion be on the cards? How do you ever tackle the subject, if you have to, without becoming a drama queen?
    I’m articulate and love stimulating conversations but I have been on dates where I’ve been so in awe no interesting words have left my mouth. It’s like being starstruck and coming over like a vacuous idiot with nothing to say. With maturity has come a confidence deep within that would overcome this but when I was younger I must of put off many a great young man because of this.
    Men don’t want it too easy, they want to have to bring their A game, so do women!
    Thank you Stephen, you have a great sense of humour and lovely manners. x

  9. Susanne says:

    *♥:)Dear Hussey brothers :)♥*

    It’s 6:25 am & I read what happened to Matt in the gym :(

    May our heavenly father, Jesus Christ and millions of angels be with you :)& Kiss your heart :)

    ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥In the name of LOVE, pain go away♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
    ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥PEACE be with us♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

    Jesus Christ: “For I am the Lord, your healer” (2 Moses 15:26)

    ♥May Jesus hold us very very very close to his heart♥ :)

    LOVE & PEACE :)

    Susanne

    • Susanne says:

      Oh Gym alarm!
      May Jesus set it off :)
      & Hope Matt is all well again :)

      I wish you well :)

      ♥ your blog “3 alarms in a guy’s mind” & I’ve commented a few hours ago :)(see comments below…about 5 comments below this comment :)

  10. Solana says:

    Great article.

    Is there a way to overcome needyness?

    I usually get emotionaly atach really fast. I really want to be in love and in a great relationship. I kine of need the how to guide. Hehe

  11. Shae says:

    What a vast ocean we cross while navigating through relationships. We are guilty of not being genuine out of an effort to put forth our best selves, yet we end up getting caught in a net of being too nice and perhaps without any inner kindling. We’re playing a game by not giving away too much at first (to keep the other person guessing) and then at some point the game is shed away and you’re left with the true person. It seems strange that we start with varying degrees of artifice to get at the truth in the end.

    Men seem to want the girl who is engaging and enigmatic, yet can laugh and be completely ridiculous. They want the intelligent girl who is a combination of grace and femininity, but who can wear a baseball cap and defend her opinions over a pizza. And women want the same set of opposites that resonate so well together.

    As far as the alarms go, I think one must always trust one’s instincts, but not be afraid to try to dig for a little more out of someone. Sometimes it’s how someone asks something that will elicit the opinions/answers they’re looking for.

    Keep up the wonderful work, Stephen – I find your articles thoughtful and sharp!

  12. Tracey says:

    I’m enjoying these blogs…been getting back into the GTG programs since it’s time to focus on me.

    I’m not too worried about these 3 alarms, but am concerned about how to respond if/when asked about past relationships. I haven’t had many serious boyfriends, but have dated (not too successfully) and do have a big social circle of friends. I wouldn’t want to avoid the question, but worry a response could led the guy to think “what’s wrong with her.”

    Thoughts?

  13. Mimi says:

    I read your article and it would be great to get a female counter perspective as sometimes the neediness comes from not getting anything back and thus overcompensating, the creation of drama because quite possibly her man/relationship is not interesting enough and the “shallowness” due either to holding it in that she may be dating a show-off or that it is early in the relationship and preferring to keep it light.

    “What would men be without women? Scarce sir, mighty scarce”

  14. Susanne says:

    *♥:) Dear wonderful Hussey brothers :)♥*

    I ♥ LOVE of the 3 alarms in a guy’s mind :)
    Because it’s so so so so true :)
    True LOVE is the strongest element :)
    ♥♥True LOVE♥♥True LOVE♥♥True LOVE
    True LOVE connects hearts in the best way ♥—♥—♥—♥
    —> heart connection established

    That is why I agree to 1) 2) 3) :)

    1) Neediness < true LOVE
    2) Shallowness < true LOVE
    3) Drama < true LOVE

    Neediness,shallowness, drama: unable to connect hearts in the best way

    That is why I agree:
    It’s good to set off these 3 alarms :)

    + On the first dates: love the person as human being :)
    After all, we (men & women)are human beings :) and deserve true LOVE & PEACE & that is why I hope everybody can set all these 3 alarms off :)

    I thank you wonderful Hussey brothers :)
    Truly enjoyed reading & commenting :)
    Once again: a very beautiful blog :)

    ♥PEACE & HUGS♥

    Susanne

    Ps. Can you delete the comment below because I forgot to write 3) Drama < true LOVE :)….

    • Susanne says:

      Agree to 1: Set off the needy alarm :)

      ♥ to compliment Jesus Christ & good-hearted human beings :)

      Thank God it’s a kind of passion and I’m not needy at all :)

      • Susanne says:

        Ps. Can you delete the comment below because I forgot to write 3) Drama < true LOVE :)…

        The one above this comment is fine :)
        ♥Thank you very much :)♥

  15. Susanne says:

    *♥:) Dear wonderful Hussey brothers :)♥*

    I ♥ LOVE of the 3 alarms in a guy’s mind :)
    Because it’s so so so so true :)

    True LOVE is the strongest element :)
    ♥♥True LOVE♥♥True LOVE♥♥True LOVE
    True LOVE connects hearts in the best way ♥—♥—♥—♥
    —> heart connection established

    That is why I agree to 1) 2) 3) :)

    1) Neediness < true LOVE
    2) Shallowness < true LOVE
    3) Drama Neediness,shallowness, drama: unable to connect hearts in the best way

    That is why I agree:
    It’s good to set off these 3 alarms :)
    + On the first dates: love the person as human being :)

    After all, we (men & women)are human beings :) and deserve true LOVE & PEACE & that is why I hope everybody can set all these 3 alarms off :)

    I thank you Hussey brothers for this amazing blog :)

    ♥PEACE & HUGS♥

    Susanne

  16. Randa says:

    hahahaha!! Good LORD! Now is when I’m actually glad I don’t have a bookshelf or anything in my bedroom but a matress… and an unused journal on the floor…

    Anyways I actually admire your patience on this awkward first date. If this same scenario happened with me and a guy I’d have sent him back home by “Her: (Sarcastically) Oh sorry, “co-wrote” then. Can I read it?” yyyep…

    This definitely applies to both genders. Out of the top of my head I’d also add “the one who thinks EVERYTHING you say is SUPER FUNNY or AMAZING” (To which I can’t avoid thinking: do yourself a favor and get a life…or personality!)

    Anyways had a good laugh with this piece so keep rocking aaand now it’s my turn to say STAY OUT OF TROUBLE!! HA! :P
    xx
    R

  17. Shaina says:

    Hi there Stephen,
    Thank you for a great article. I definitely understand what you explained in regards to alarm #1 but it leads me to a question. What do you feel is the best way for a woman to express her appreciation of the unique qualities which she is finding in the man she is dating without it turning into an alarm #1 situation in the man’s mind? We all want to be acknowledged as being unique, and often women are able to use their mutant powers to see through façade and to the heart and intent of someone rather quickly . This allows us to feel very appreciative when we encounter something authentic. How is this appreciation best transmitted in order that the goal of acknowledging the man is met in ways he can appreciate? Thank you for your time and have a great day!

  18. A says:

    #1 is hard. It’s hard not to be an affectionate, nice person just because the guy hasn’t earned it yet. I think with the right guy, it won’t matter. He’ll love it. With the wrong guy, he’ll feel uncomfortable. One lesson I’ve learned if I’m doing nice things, he should be doing them for me too. Just shouldn’t be one-sided. It’s weird how early on guys think they’ve ‘won’. She’s just being nice, why not relax and enjoy it?

    “Suddenly she’s asking him if he’s serious. It’s fast. It’s only been a couple of weeks. He doesn’t really know, but he’s being pressured to state all his future intentions.”

    I’m cool with not asking about seriousness, if he’s cool with things not moving forward sexually. They go hand in hand. Some women think:

    “Suddenly he wants to have sex. It’s fast. It’s only been a couple of weeks. She isn’t sure and is feeling a little pressured.”

    It is what it is, Stephen. He’s probably wondering why she can’t relax and just enjoy where they are. If only we all could be honest about what we are really thinking!

  19. Irene says:

    It was fun to read!
    “Testing” goes both ways, I guess. I agree with the comments below and just want to add: the first date/dates should have an easiness. That way your significant other is more likely to be fun and playful. It’s more about the connection and the vibe between both of you.
    All the best!

  20. Heather says:

    You can sort of see that she was trying to be playful but she doesn’t understand the nuances of a good tease. To be a good tease, the joke must never be on the recipient and that’s where she went wrong. The fact is, you wrote a book which suggests that you’re pretty serious about the subject. She would have done better had she acknowledged the effort and research and that could have led to a quietly intimate moment between both. Once she had established her admiration, her line about being judged (said playfully) would have been better received.

    With that said, it’s so easy to get these things wrong. Which is why I LOVE the content you put out. It’s so much more than dating advice, you’re teaching life skills.

    Having invested in Matthew’s FTTMR, I’m starting to go on lots of dates and, although I’m having such a nice time, the worst part of this is that I’m STILL MAKING MISTAKES. Gah. Just this week, I ruined a potential situation by getting a little too ‘clear’ on the fact that I wanted this guy to stop texting me every day (for a month – with no date!) and call me instead. Now, it’s true, it may not have turned into anything, but I should have been super careful with the tone of my text. Playful would have been infinitely better. It may not have worked, but I would have nailed that particular skill. (Oh, it hurts to screw up…)

    But, I’m getting there. And, instead of putting on the radio, in the morning, I play one of Matthew’s videos whilst getting ready for the day. They’re so good, each time I listen to them, I hear something new. Wonderful stuff. Thank you.

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Thanks so much Heather – sometimes it’s just about making lots of little mistakes until you refine the way you communicate. Thanks for your nice words, glad you’re enjoying the blogs. x

  21. Beth says:

    I can honestly say I am none of those but, I guess my biggest problem is getting myself out more to actually meet new guys once I meet people I have no problem conversing and I am definitely not a drama queen I try to steer clear of it myself. Needy not lol! The Hussey brothers strike again lol thanks for the article I am really enjoying the info and the insight thanks. I will make sure I use it for good and not evil muahahaha! Joking!

  22. Shani says:

    I am overjoyed that none of these things sound like me. I was slightly nervous before reading each one. So helpful! Thank you!

  23. Elaine says:

    I’m loving the ‘double-Hussey’ combo we get. You on a weds and Matt on a Sunday. You’re both a strict part of my rituals and making time for me! Thank you!
    Totally guilty of #1. I also used to be really really ‘nice’. I now aim to be anything but nice.
    I love the way you both use real life situations to make us feel that your input is coming from what you have had to learn yourselves along the way. I agree with a comment below, she does sound playful and fun! ;)
    Thank you Stephen. Love your work.
    XX Elaine XX

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Well, it’s great to be kind, you just never want to be “only nice”. Nice on its own doesn’t lead to attraction. Thanks a lot Elaine, glad your making time to keep up with both Husseys lol x

  24. Linda says:

    Don’t you think it’s interesting how many mental notes we make while talking to someone we are interested in. So many judgements passes through our minds. I can usually feel the moment when someone is ‘judging’ me… positively and negatively (can’t really judge them for it because hey…I’m doing the same thing).
    But it’s so annoying because that makes me think too much during a date while I just want to enjoy it. How to stop overthinking and how to avoid your date doing the same thing too?

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      I think even though many judgments go through people’s minds that doesn’t mean it has to psyche us out. It’s part of life that has to be accepted – also, it can mean that people are judging all the great things about you, not just the bad. The article is only meant to point out some common traits that men instinctively avoid, but it shouldn’t stop you being relaxed and “in the moment”. All the best Linda. x

  25. Nancy says:

    Ok … this is going to sound ridiculous I’m sure … but what if you think you have done alarm #1, is there ever a chance to go back and correct it or is it just to late and the girl should just move on???

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      It very much depends on whether he’s made his mind up and moved on. Sometimes it’s better to just note where you messed up, put it behind you, and start moving forward with your dating life. Any repeated contact at this point has the potential to just make things worse. Thanks for commenting Nancy x

      • Nancy says:

        Thanks for the response Stephen. Appreciate what you are saying, and of course I don’t want to make it worse. Taking your advice and moving forward with my dating life… If it’s meant to be … :)

  26. Leecis says:

    Love the spoonful of sugary humor to go with the learning pill. I am guilty of #s 1&3. UKGH!
    Keep it comming, Stephen.

  27. Priya says:

    I would say, it was a sweet date! She seemed playful and I think people need to be playful at least a little bit. It brings much more fun and energy in a relationship. You should definitely call her. But that’s just my opinion.

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      haha I guess when I wrote about my dating life I was always going to be inviting opinions – thanks for the advice Priya :) x

  28. Leeah says:

    LOVE! So true. Very much of a “check yourself” article which I adore. And I think you could probably think of a few more alarms!! What about “Three Alarms in Guy’s Mind-Part TWO? P.S. Dating a relationship expert WOULD be intimidating… Probably a third date topic!!! Sounds like she already read the book though as she nailed the close of said convo… ;p Thanks Steve-Excellent article!

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      That’s really kind of you Leeah, thanks! I was thinking there could be Part Two to this piece at a later date…

      Stephen x

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