“Matthew is a genius whose magic needs to be shared with the world.” - Eva Longoria

How To Attract A Guy Without Showing That You Like Him

Men are terrible at picking up on signs of attraction. Absolutely awful in fact. When trying to attract a guy you can cackle like a witch at all his jokes, give him unrelenting eye contact at the dinner table and even stroke his arm when you talk to him and he’ll still be none the wiser!

So why would you want to be subtle?

More often than not, whilst men may not be the most astute of creatures when a girl is interested in them, nine times out of ten they will pick up on the signals that are directed towards their friends, and inevitably this information arrives at it’s intended
destination.

A big factor in men being so oblivious to your interest is self-doubt. They repress any attraction signals from you and come up with other explanations as to why it’s happening. So if you want to attract a guy while keeping him on tenterhooks, you’ve got to see the obvious signs of attraction from men or at least enough to get him questioning what you’re saying, but you also want to make sure you’re keeping those around him in the dark.

Sounds easy right?

A lot of women like the idea of attracting men without the guy initially knowing of their interest, and so many adopt the approach of trying to attract a guy by being extremely dismissive. They stop smiling or giving him any eye contact, they turn their backs to them if ever in a conversation and they just generally ignore him thinking that guys will jump at the chance of trying to win over such an ice queen.

Doing this will stop even the most relentless of guys in their tracks, so if you continue to do this, I wish you good luck in getting him interested! I assure you that to attract men, it’s imperative that you remain warm and friendly (whilst not giving too much away). And the best way to do this is by giving a guy mixed signals. Women generally don’t understand this when first discover how to attract men, but it’s essential – so keep it in mind.

Mixed Signals

It’s okay to give a guy mixed signals. In fact it’s great! Mixed signals make a guy curious.

When a guy is 100% certain that you’re interested in him (which only really ever happens after some serious convincing from his friends!) he often becomes disinterested. You’ve shown too much interest and so he no longer considers this exciting. Remember that guys like a challenge – not an impossible expedition (like the bitch mentioned earlier) but thrilling excitement brought about by creating curiosity and intrigue.

Alternatively the feeling of certainty becomes too much for him. If he really likes you, in many cases a guy will do nothing about it just because he experiences so much anxiety. If he knows you’re really interested in him, and he still manages to mess things up, imagine what that would say about him! It’s too big of a risk to make.

Be a Bit Flirty With Everyone

Perhaps the best way to disguise your advances is by becoming a generally more flirty person. If he see’s that you’re playfully flirty around other people, it won’t dawn on him (or his friends) when you’re a bit cheeky around him. There is also a massive benefit of winning over the other guys around him – they will start to talk about how playful, funny and attractive you are. The more guys do this amongst one another, the more they reassure themselves of it and the more of a challenge you become!

Now rather than destroying his ego by potentially rejecting him, he’s getting a massive ego boost as in his mind he’s beat a whole host of other guys to be with you. And thats really the secret to attract a guy without him catching on. Myself and the team really enjoy reading your comments and feedback, so if you’ve ever been in a position where you’ve had to attract a guy without anyone else noticing, perhaps at work or at the office, then do let us know!

The Man Myth

53 Responses to How To Attract A Guy Without Showing That You Like Him

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  1. ananya says:

    is i love a guy nd
    i told him bt he said he likes me bt dere is no
    future so he cnt do any committmnt …. my
    frnds said ignore him he wll definatly cm 2 u bt
    othr side i thoght if i ignore him may b he loose
    da intrst in me ….

    • A says:

      Also, you shouldnt tell a man you love him first, it should be him. Relationships are best when men pursue it NOT THE WOMAN. Men love to chased not be chased. If you chase them their ego would be massive and they will lose respect for you.

      Also when dating never call the man FIRST let him do it. When in a relationship ONLY call the man if you missed his call, if he dont pick up leave it/only call a man if ylu missed the call and he left a voicemail then call back because its urgent.

  2. shreya says:

    My problem.. Uff…I just cant handle it.. Plz help me.. M in lv with my cousin frm my childhood. Nw m in 10th std bt he lvs sm another girl.. Bt they got broke up neWht can I do to attract him.. I lv him so much :(

  3. vjks says:

    I met a guy that I’ve beend ating for about 3 months. We have been intimate. Two weeks ago, while enjoying a glass of wine, I asked him where we stood. He said because of the intimacy we stood somewhere between dating and friends with benefits. I asked him where he would like to be and he said he is content where we are. He also shared that he had had sex with one other person since we began dating. Hmmm. I was disappointed but glad that I asked and that he was honest. Now I’m not sure what direction to take. I don’t want a friend with benefits but not willing to live such a dangerous lifestyle. Advice?

    • A says:

      #1: why are sleeping with someone whom is not your husband? Or someone you havent been dating for more than a year?

      #2: why are you asking him “where do we stand” men HATE being asked that question LET him be one to ask that.

      He said your friends with benefits? And youre telling us you dont know what to do? To be blunt, bitch you should k ow what to do RESPECT YOURSEL ENOUGH to step up and tell him you arent about that life, he will respect you MORE for saying that. Dont give him an ultimatmum
      Calmly say “If you want to just be friends with benefits. Thats cool but I know I want a serious relationship. I see I made a mistake by sleeping with you.”he would see you as a strong admitting your mistakes and standing your ground. What makes players stay players for so long is because women always say “YES” not one says “NO” but until that one woman say “NO” ans stands her ground… He sees her as a Rare Gemstone, Matthew always talks about. Then hear what he has to say remain calm and positive. Now this where you put your words into action. Men are visual creatures ACTIONS speaks louder for them.

      Cut him off. For a month If you say in touch with him youll end up sleeping with him DECREASING yout value as a woman. Trust me youll eaen a lot of self respect and he would. Look at you differently.

      Start dating other men DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THEM until you have the committment you want. DO NOT HAVW THE SERIOUS TALK LET THEM DO IT.
      That guy youre into is eeally going to find you attractive becausw hw knows that many women would just say “Yes” becauze they think “If I keep sleeping with him Ill change his mind and he will want to be with me” erm noooo not at all.
      There not emotionally attachment there for him!

      You need to also work on yourself, inside and out. Make new friends, meet new people post pictures so he can see kn social network. Make him see that other men are into etc… Im sure you see what I sent to some girl on here.

      Also he will try to contact you to see test if you’d come over and ride that meat of his but NO YOU ARE GOING TO BE STRONG AND NOT REPLY TO HIM OR SEE HIM!

      Try find that message I sent to someone naMe Ananya
      Its too much to type but I still wanted to help! I hope I did

  4. kritika says:

    i dont know really what to do. i like a guy very much and he likes me too he said i love u and then we went to place and kiss but after few days he started ignoring me by saying i want to study i dnt wanna get fail in exams and lets do the breakup after i said do u love me he said i m confused and after long debate he said we ll talk once in week for few mins. i really dnt konw what to do i really love him pls help me out from this pls do reply asap

  5. rana says:

    Em hi I am a teenager no guy is ever interested in me I dress well and am cute but den no one still single all my friends start telling stories about their guys but den me am bad luck plzz help me and I need replz

    • Young Maxbillon Hollystone says:

      Same happen to me guy here, am nt realy happy about nt having partner and when my friendz talking and discuse about their girl, i dnt feel happy. Pls let know each other more than this.. My name is YOUNG MAXBILLON HOLLYSTONE pls add ne on facebook and my phone number +2347014334411 i will be happy to know u with my sincerly heart

  6. linux vps says:

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  7. sara says:

    I like this guy in my class, sam, im not sure that he likes me im a little mean to everyone I don’t like to show my feelings. he Is a popular guy and me not so much im not unpopular but not stuck up either help me plz should I just continue to hide my feelings or show them without looking retarded I usally just try to get over the guys I like. im so confused plz help me im not good in relationships!!!@#$#$$@!

  8. Nina says:

    Yes I got my lover back through Dr. Abu. My wife left me six months ago. The longer she’s gone, the more I see what a jerk I was. At first, I blamed her for leaving. I told her she was ‘wrong’. In fact, I slapped Scripture on her, trying to guilt-induce her any way I could. My anger only pushed her farther away. I can’t believe the way I acted. My wife gave me chance after chance, and I ignored her. I contacted Dr. Abu and within a few minutes of speaking with him, I realized that Dr. Abu was the one person whom I could completely trust. Within 48 hours, My wife is back in my life. I can’t thank him enough and I will use Dr. Abu again for further work in the future. You can contact him on Ominighospelltemple@gamil.com

  9. Jenny says:

    What about in the case of a guy pursuing you and afterwards losing interest- possibly because you’ve shown too much interest?
    Is is possible for this guy to regain interest in you again or would his mind be set on the fact that you’ve already been interested in him, decreasing the possibility of him showing interest again??

    • Annonymous says:

      I’d very much like to know the answer to that myself. I’m in a similar boat and even though he said he’s interested and that he likes me, we went on a date, he introduced me to his friends and invited me over with my friend to meet him and his friend and we had fun. Ever since then he seems quite distant and rumours are spreading that he likes someone else. I confronted him about it yesterday but he denied ever liking her and apologised about being distant without me mentioning it. He said he’s been busy with other stuff. However.. Today she was going on how they talk all day and night when I can’t seem to get a reply for ages. Think the best choice here is leave the guy to it. Plenty fish in the sea and all that, right…? Except I can’t seem to do that so I was wondering if there is a way to make him more interested like he has to make the first move again. Help me out here please x

  10. Lisa says:

    I like a guy in my uni, but we’ve never really talked to each other. I tried to make eye contact with him and smile. I think by now, at least, he noticed I exist. I think he’s a bit intrigued by me, and he’s probably asking himself ‘is she interested?’. But I’m afraid if I don’t talk to him soon, he might lose interest and forget about me. Problem is, I’m too shy to start a conversation with him. He’s always surrounded by his friends and he’s never alone!
    His best friend goes to the same class as me. Do you think I should talk to his friend first?
    Or should I find ways to directly introduce myself to him?
    I’d really appreciate your help, thanks.

  11. MISHU says:

    hi, i think i am falling for a guy. well he is from india and working in Dubai. i met him once in dubai and we spoke. the thing is we both are apart from each other. i just want to understand that whether he feels for me the same way or its the other way around.
    i am just waitng for him to be back. how should i react in front of him??

    plz advise.

    • annie says:

      Mishu dear first think if u both are frm same religion than there is ni complication.
      N try to spend ur most of time with him go with him at mamzer park,Dubai mall, pulm Dubai n etc many more place… By spndng most of his time with u he vl love ur nature go for n candle lite dinner.n dnt propose him.. wait till he propose.
      N n most important think u better know his past n everything that how he is.all the best

  12. Ashley says:

    I like this guy but I don’t have his number yet we don’t have any of the same classes so I don’t know how to smoothly ask for his number. I don’t want to make it to obvious that I like him but he tends to make me start the conversation and I really suck at carrying one on. This girl today actually was like playing with him but sitting on his lap and kissing his cheeks and he seemed uncomfortable because she has a boyfriend.I got soo jelous but I couldn’t say anything. I just want to know how I get him to like me if I don’t want to make it obvious.

  13. Lisa says:

    Hi, there’s this guy who i have been friends with for a long time (few years) in the last December holidays we had a fling but eventually i got bored of him as i was moving… Turned out i came back and we ended up in the same class at High School. I dont know what happened but somehow i fell for him hard, he seems to be the perfect guy but he has never been in a relationship before. He has money, he’s religious, academic and doesn’t drink or smoke. What do i do now? We friends and i dont want to make things awkward between us.. Thanks :)

  14. Maria Donatella says:

    My story started few months ago. I moved into a new flat, and after a short while of time i have met my landlord.
    Just to mention that after 4 years my cousin died i decided thatthe best place for her son to be is with me, as hes father wasnt much interested to rase him.( i am romanian but living in england.
    So i am a single mum :)but independent and a bit clever i would say. Confident with the way i a,.
    The day i met my landord was when he came to pick hes post, i thought that he looks like my dream husband! But that day i was really profesional, but nice. He mentioned that he will redirect hes post very soon but after 2 months hes post keeped coming, thing that made me very happy because that was the only chance to see him and have a chat with him. Once he offered to give me a lift to work(a 30 mins jurny) and we start talking about anything untill he asked me if i visit my parents often. My answer was that me getting a bit older( 30 years old) makes me feel that i want to see my parents more often as i realise that they are getting older as well. Hes question was how old are they and i sad that my mum is 50.
    After couple of days i find out that he is 50 as well but he doesnt look like it.
    From that day hes post never came to my flat.
    He used to bring little presents to my son, and just be really chatty when he would come over.
    Now all is quite!:)
    Is there anything i can do to see him? We live in the same town but never saw him out.
    I think he thinks that i think he is too old for me, but i dont think that. I really would like to see him again and see where things go.
    Just wanted to ask because he is my landlord that makes it more difficult for him?
    Or doyou have any ideas on hw to contact him? Or i just have to pe patient and let tie to resolve it? :)
    Please help!!

  15. esha says:

    one of my classmate likes me.he told that to my friend.i have also started liking him.but he is not confessing now that he is in love with me.he has my no. and he also msgs me and flirts with me……….but i love him and he too 100% loves me..what should i do???

    • Carly says:

      Just ask him out. I know that sounds a lot harder than what it really is, but if he likes you and you really like him and you have been friends for a while just ask him out as a no pressure group date thing. And if all goes well go out to a movie or something.Trust me it will be fine guys like girls who take charge and go after what they want.

    • Daniel says:

      You should be confident of what are u saying to him..be careing,loving,laugh at his jokes,be FRIENDLY the most important thing of the love is be friendly especially the boy that u have a crush on..

    • annie says:

      Hye Esha I think sooo he is good for u bcoz the person who is afraid to lose their love they are afraid to propose… So u just show the hint that u too love him n force him to say that he loves u… N dnt talk to other boys off ur class bcoz the person who loves will always feel possesive by seeing u with smeone else..all the best..

  16. jenny says:

    i am in luv with a guy who iz next to my class…..n i lyk him so much…..i first called him n tried to be his friend but he always ignore me…..and messup things i do….and don’t even want to talk to me….says gudnite tata i am feelin sleepy……..what shall i do plz help…..

    • annie says:

      U too ignore him dnt let him feel that u r dieng for him..let him come to talk to u… U respect ur self.. he vl too come back offf u

  17. Pixi says:

    I am confused

  18. chinki says:

    i like a guy and we are family friends….we both are of same age…i want to approach him but i m scared that may be it may ruin our family relation… we never had any type of conversation…some time i got chance but i m not getting positive response from his side….i dont know how to attract him towards me so that we can talk…..we are connected on facebook…but we never had chats or any conversation over their….plz advice me how to attract him towards me….

  19. Teisy says:

    Well I had a friend We were studying in Evening courses and We made Friends and Once we exchanged our mobile numbers so We chatted A Lot, nearly 6 hours a day We walked and Talked And I confessed, I told him that I loved him and It seemed like so did he. we were like best friends,but we were always Arguing together and Once he just approached and wanted to take my hand But I was like gone Wild. I said No Way. and Then he just said me Everything was over. I realized that I still love him. I can’t get him off my mind I want To hate him but I can’t. I THINK I love Him . What should I do? I just don’t know what to do. Help me please…..

  20. Daisy says:

    I like this guy who is my classmate and my good friend. I’ve had a crush on him like for 6 months now. His friends keep telling that i am into him! My best friend was his girl friend and as far as i know they never liked each other….She proposed to him and he accepted. Now they broke up and that guy keeps flirting with me but i don’t understand if he likes me. what should i do now?

  21. ruby says:

    I’ve been friends with these two guys for a while (they are cousins) . The first guy I’ll just call him a, we met on a double date with his sister and her boyfriend. He seemed nice, it was a little awkward at first talking to him because of the ‘date set up’. His sister (close friend of mine) told me he had a major crush on me. I was a little ehhh at first because I barely knew him. But I agreed to see him to get to know him, he liked me but I wasn’t sure how I felt about him. Couple months goes by and he starts calling me less and less. Now the next guy (call him b) always hung out with us when I went over to see A at thier house (we’d all watch movies and play video games together). Now B is starting to call me more and I hung out with him to get to know him better. Over time I can say for sure there is nothing there for B, I feel no spark at all. As for A at first I wasn’t sure but as time wore on the more he started to grow on me, the more I started to like his little quirks and I find myself having feelings for this guy.
    this whole process has happened a little over a year, my problem is B still likes me and even though I turned him down once (I told him I’d rather be friends) he still seems determined. And that makes A a little distant from me because his cousin likes me.
    I really don’t know if A still likes me or if he’s moved on.
    (I never slept or kissed either one of these guys- I’ve never really acted flirtatious with either one, just treated them both as friends) .
    Has my boat pretty much sailed with A? (Have I really missed my chance to be with him) .
    what do I do about B? I decided to put some distance from him, anything else I can do to let him down easy?
    I hate to lose friends over this…..

  22. Awesome says:

    I like a guy which is my senior, I ask him that would he accept any girls, he said that depends on the situation… But I Really Like Him Alot.. But He Seemed To Have No Feelings For Me… what can i do?

    • arpit says:

      it may be that the boy likes you but he too does not know that how to start a relationship with you .this is the case in many situations.all you have to do is become a little flirty with him.

  23. Lisa says:

    I am interested in a guy who is my mentor and leader for a business group I belong to. This article is really helpful, I’ve been doing some things you mentioned, but now I have to start flirting with him more as well. It’s kind of hard to do in a business setting. Any subtle suggestions?

  24. Jen says:

    @swati mishra, be urself do u see him very often ?
    does he ever talk to uuu?

  25. swati mishra says:

    I like a boy who is different from others, very simple and qute without any showoff i know him through facebook but i like him a lot and nearabout i love him.He has no girlfriend but the prblem is that how i attract him.I always thought that he is a perfect guy for me and nearabout he also like me.

  26. blacknight_lady says:

    I’m 26 use to be in short term relationships and now I feel stupid of liking someone so much it scares me. I don’t want to fall for him but I think I am, I have read the tips from the article and thinking if i would try to attract him and hope to go to the next level it may be too late for that. Doing that might have him avoid me since it doesn’t seem like a good idea to kill the challenge to tell him upfront that I am liking him beyond physical. we started and knew each other as like FLIRTING only because he’s hot. i wasn’t expecting that he’s someone nice n’ easy to talk to about serious stuff w/c is why he caught me off-guarded and now I feel Cheezy. Since we are like friends w/ benefits i didn’t care at all and was easy for him to get in my pants. It’s hard to pretend that I am still the same liberated gal just to hide that I am having special feelings for him. Would it be a good easier for me just to stop talking to him? and just try to kill how I feel? HELP..

  27. Jasmine says:

    Hi I was wondering about why a guy would be anxious if he knew you liked him?…I liked this guy that seemed to like me…I asked one of my guy friends about him and he ended up telling the guy after that I hardly see him. I truely thought the guy liked me…weird!

  28. Haley says:

    I’m 16 and there’s this guy in my math class that I sit next to. He’s really nice and he helps me when I have a problem on something. We talk occasionally but not very often. And half the time it’s about school work. What should I do to get more of his attention? There’s no other guys that I can talk to or really flirt with in that class so I feel helpless….?

  29. Yuetching says:

    I don’t quite understand why a guy would be anxious, if he knows the girl likes him.

  30. Faith says:

    Hi I hav this guy who acts like he likes me but then doesn’t. I like him! I’m a naturally flirty person so everyone thinks I like everyone. I kinda need help on what I should do. We’ve been really close to dating like three times now but I don’t know what to do from here….

  31. Rose says:

    I also want advice for my case.I like the boy who was my fri.at first,i didn’t interest him.he is so flirty with other girls.when i interest him,although i didn’t show i like him,he keep away from me.i asked him why he did like that.and then we had an argue and he said he don’t want to be friendly with me in future because he thought we two are not understanding each other and have different ideas.but i was so depressed because i didn’t expect he would say like that and i love him.how should i do to attract him ?

  32. Erica says:

    So I liked this guy for a while now and i try to take the initiative of confronting him. So he did text me and I did enjoy the conversation. Then he did text me the next morning and I was thinking maybe there might be a chance of attraction or he just views me as a friend. I did texted him to start conversation with him only twice,we talked for a long time but I’m not sure if it seems like if I’m giving him too attention? But from what you said if he knows that I might be interested in him then he becomes disinterested is their anyway way to reverse that? How can I tell that he might be interested in me..

  33. Diana says:

    I think there should be a balance in being flirty… Here there is not any indication of how much is too much. Okay, I get that guys can neglect a lot of signs women do and might need something extra. However, girls do not want to attract the wrong type of guys. So at least that part is confusing to me.

  34. angelica says:

    i really don’t now how to carry this out advice out considering im an 18 year old woman that has never even gone on a date and i have this suety palm problem when ever im nerves 99% so my hand palms are suety 99% of the time making it rely hard to flirt with guys and well the other day this guy was flirting with me he took the seat i was seating in and told me to seat on him and im like i don’t really want to like im 130 i have mas he looked built and im not so im like fine ill sit on the floor cuz all the chairs where taken then he sat next to me and gave my sit to some other tool. he went to hold my hand “that was so cute of him ” but i had to reject him because of my suety palms so what do i do there

    • Coraline says:

      That is really awful, I hear from my violin teacher, that she had a student with that same problem… she told me her student went all the places with some kind of cloth or a place to make her hands a little dry.
      I am no expert on this kind of problem, but, I think there is some kind of surgery you can do to solve it.
      But if you are not willing to do it, I think you should try not to get that nervous. I mean, as Matt himself said in one of his posts, be self confident, and don’t be nervous! Being nervous will just increase the sweating on your hands. You have to be confident, and positive about being around a guy.
      If you have, for example, a pimple on your face, always puting your hand on it, will make it more noticible, but if you look handsome, cute, and nice even with it, the guy you are looking for will eventually notice all your good points, and even forget about the problem you have!
      You should always care a cloth around, on your pocket on on your purse, so you can be drying your hands quite often and don’t making it a big mess.
      I hope I helped you, dear.
      From a fellow girl,
      Coraline

    • robert says:

      Angelica needs to go to school.

      That is disturbing to see that poor of education in an 18 year old.

      • says:

        Lol suety…

      • sarah says:

        I feel the same way. I am very embarassed about my fellow 18 year old.

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